Christmas card sadness

For goodness sake grow up.Be realistic;people do not live for ever.

That doesn't mean we can't mourn the loss.
Perhaps you could take your own advice re: growing up.

I sympathise, Doodle. I wrote my cards in October, as I was going to Australia in November, and left them with my daughter. Since then a lovely couple I know has died with three weeks of each other. Luckily I saw the news on Facebook. Double luckily my daughter had not yet posted their Christmas card. I was able to ask her to send a sympathy card instead, but I expect that their family will receive many cards from people who haven’t heard the sad news.
Planning ahead for my own demise I have a list, for my family, of names and addresses/phone numbers/ email addresses of everyone who will need notifying when I ‘pop my clogs.’ Sadly, that list has quite a few names crossed off too.

Emilie!! I am shocked at your lack of care/ concern.
Flowers and hugs for all those who are hurting.

I totally understand how you feel urmstrongran Christmas carols set me off in the same way. I saw some children singing (out of tune and beat but very sweet and enthusiastic) at the village centre the day before yesterday and it made me tear up thinking of all those who won’t be here this Christmas that the family have lost over the years.

It's even worse having to write just your own name, because your husband has died. Even after 13 years it still doesn't seem right, I've had to screw up a few cards because I've included his without thinking.
So just be glad that your husband is still alive and with you, give him a big hug and tell him how much you love him.

I've only sent two cards this year....everyone else has died!

For goodness sake grow up.Be realistic;people do not live for ever

Pots and kettles (about growing up)

I think emilie possibly lives under a Nordic bridge. Sorry to be obscure but I gather I’m not allowed to say more than that.

Yes it is always a sharp reminder at this time of year. Our address book is many years old, and it is awful seeing just how many have died over the years. I have only one set of aunt and uncle left, from the many, many that I once had. This however, is not nearly so bad as it is for those of you who have lost spouses in this last year, and I send you my heartfelt sympathy.

Floradora9, I do that....... put up nice cards from previous years. And I also put one up that Mummy painted......even though my parents have both been dead for many years.

Emilie wow that’s a very harsh post, glad you are not on my Christmas card list, hugs for all the posters that are hurting

Most of my friends were younger than me so my list has dwindled considerably.
I have a book in which I have for years written a list of names and addresses of people to whom I have sent cards and presents and tick of those from whom I have received cards. So often have I not received cards back so presume they have died.
This book also has bank account numbers etc. and relevant information for my son when I die.

bellanonna

I felt so sad when I got out the Christmas card list that I nearly didn't send any at all.

It is one thing I find having to cross out the names of those who have died since last year, but what I find even more difficult is knowing what to do about those I no longer hearfrom.

Do I assume they are alive and well and send a card, or do I assume that no-one has bothered to inform me of a death?

We have moved, so there are a lot of people I no longer see, so when the emails stop I am in a quandary.

Yes, I can commiserate with many of the posters here. I too, keep a Christmas Card book and year by year have to cross out those who are no longer with us. This year, I had a message from the wife of my old Manager from the Company I worked at for 27 years, saying that he is now in a Nursing Home, and she is moving from their old address in the new year.
Today, I saw two old friends I hadn't seen in quite a while, in the Restaurant where we went for lunch, only to discover that the lady now has dementia and doesn't remember us, and her husband is now profoundly deaf. So very sad, but at least I got to wish her a Happy Birthday (the reason for the outing) and to say "Merry Christmas" to her husband, who can at least follow that short phrase.

When I married DH 28 years ago, I started a Christmas book and each year I write out a list of people we exchange cards with. When the cards come down the list is amended / new addresses noted etc. I also write a list of presents we have given. Like all other posters, I feel sad at having to cross out some names especially our dear parents. But, on the other hand there are names of new grandchildren, nieces and nephews and friends who have been added to the list.
Last Christmas my DGD who was 14 found the book and her and DGS had a wonderful time looking back at and remembering the presents they'd had from us in the past and finding the years when their names first appeared in the book.

We have just had some very sad news , DH has been diagnosed with terminal cancer . We have told close family obviously, but have decided to delay sending our Christmas cards till Christmas Eve so that people will receive them with the news after Christmas . A very bad year for us , several close friends have died and others very poorly like my dear DH

Emilie I think that's terribly unkind and very hurtful to those if us who have lost loved ones and will be missing them this Christmas, particularly when it comes to the giving & receiving of cards. I can only youve not been in this positionyourself or you wouldnt be so unfeeling. My mum died this summer after a short illness and I'm finding every aspect of Christmas very hard to deal with without her- I never thought I would as we weren't particularly close but it's all the little things that remind me, especially at this time.

SusieB50 -

I am very sorry to hear that Susie.

Ignore Emilie she's obviously just trying to stir things up

I am reading this thread with tears running down my face. I lost my beloved partner to lung cancer on 1st November.
Writing Christmas cards and breaking the news to those who are at distance and don’t know has been difficult to say the least. I send my love to everyone in a similar situation.

I am so sorry to hear your sad news
Susie B50
I have only posted a dozen or so cards to England this Christmas. Some have died and others I havent heard from so have no idea if they have just stopped contact. My lovely Mum died in early November 5 years ago and I sent her friends an early Christmas card giving them the sad news. Many times you just don't hear from someone again and wonder if something has happened. I expect I shall only receive about 10 but then the cost of sending even quite small cards from the UK is horrendous. The stamps on the cards I have received have been either £1.45 or £1.70. 12 years ago it only cost about 10pence more to send to Europe.

Each year there are more off the list. I usually remember years back when I'd send to great aunts and uncles, grandparents, and others now long gone. I used to send a parcel to a relative in Canada, so would always need to know last posting dates for that
When I was left on my own I made sure that I sent out cards so that they arrived before anyone had time to send out ones to both of us, as it would have been so upsetting. Not dead. but abandoned by my husband of going on for 40 years. I asked him to let friends know who were mostly his, but whom I'd known who sent cards. Well he didn't so I did get some, so I wrote and told them.
Several years ago I transcribed my list so I could print out labels, as the years have gone on, I keep it up to date. Last year I actually noted it with who I actually got cards from, and whose were at the last minute, so might have been sent because they got one from me. I took those off the list and do not really know if they are still alive or still at the last address, I know some are. If they are they have my contact details
I do miss all my old friends and relatives