Messy House

My home is very average and, for me, average is perfection!

I was brought up by a mother with germ phobia, OCD, a cleaning/arranging obsession - we could never relax. Now, when I've cleaned and tidied a room, I deliberately 'untidy' something (some cushions on the floor, a blanket thrown on a chair or bed, photos scattered on a table, a basket of books by the fireplace etc.) to make it cosy and casual.

(btw, I see that Marie Kondo (having told folk to chuck nearly everything away) now has a very expensive online homewares shop!)

Is she short of storage space?
I have a dear friend who moved into a new flat a year ago and the corridors are still cluttered with boxes piled on top of each other, the kitchen tops are cluttered with gadgets, the bed is surrounded by boxes, all because she has nowhere else to put them.

My neighbour, bless her, has a house that looks like a bombsite! However, she has a sign on the inside of her front door which says "It's not dirt, it's fairy dust"! She's so lovely and so kindhearted I have no problem visiting her. Must admit though, when I fed her cat for a few days when she was away, I did clean her kitchen up just a bit.

Tiredoldwoman you have it spot on. I am one with a messy house and I am as you describe. And there are reasons behind it that other people may not know so do not judge. My best friends say they come to see me and not my house.

Can I make it quite clear that I don't just go to my friend's house, drink her wine, and be outspoken about the state of her house! We take 'get-together' nights in turn. And I would never dream of saying anything to her about her 'Messy House'. (Much less buy her a book on how to de-clutter - I think she'd hit me over the head with it!) I'm sure she's quite happy with how she is.

And, as I said in my original post, it's nothing to do with me. I just thought it might be interesting to know how you all felt about it.

Lyndiloo, I can understand fully where you're coming from on this subject. The older I get, the less I like being in "cluttered" homes. I find that it's very much easier to clean a tidy house than a messy one, and I for one, do not need all that stuff, especially now that it's just the two of us, in a smaller home.

Blimey, it sounds awful Lyndi - I have a friend who is similar but not so extreme.
We used to stay with her sometimes though we would rather have stayed in a B&B. She was very ebullient and gushed that we must stay with them.
To cap it all we'd be asked to remove our shoes! My house is a bit cluttered but like Buckingham Palace by comparison.

your'e not friends with my daughter are you?. she has the same problem.she was under social services for a while. and things cleared up and people came to help tidy. now she's not with them .things are back to what they were ,no amount of telling her works. should i contact social services or let things ride. she has cleared up the longe so the children can now walk around.and play.. but the rest of the house ,well its cluttered but she does have OCD .and its only been 2 years since her husband died.do i contact social services ?

There is a big difference between a messy, untidy and dusty house and a house that is filthy, has rotting food and evidence of vermin, is a health and fire hazard, has animal or human excrement lying around, is freezing cold, the roof leaks, the plumbing doesn't work or the toilet flush.

The first is a choice made by the people who live there and it's either accept that is the way they live or don't visit, the second scenario is where you may consider further action with local authorities.

I loved a frig magnet a friend had years ago 'You can notice my dust but please don't write in it.'

Ooh, I'm very heartened by the Einstein quote as I am messy by nature. I have a relative and a friend too whose houses are so featureless and tidy they could be rented holiday houses or shop showrooms: not for me. They are both very controlling people and their hospitality is doled out in very small portions entirely to suit themselves, they are quite boring people too I'm afraid: this sounds insulting as they are good people but rather unstimulating mentally, so maybe Einstein is right.

I think the thoughts nice of offering to help clean up or you could ask if she wants a bit f help putting a few things away some of us are so run off our feet, that occasionally a helping hand is much appreciated, and I agree we are all different, I occasionally leave my dishes till the morning my sister would never dream of doing that, I'm def more fun and not as up tight as her so a happy medium is nice (as long as not filthy), If any of my friends ever offered to help me i'd bite their hand off and prob get another bottle of wine..