Xmas gifts

Your budget is fine Sally so don’t worry about the competing with the other grandparents.Keep in touch regularly with the children and write letters to them, I used to love my grandma’s letters.Be interested in them, talk to them etc and they will love you.Grandparents have more time than parents to do this, but some Choose to throw money at them instead.
Quirky presents are always appreciated, as are home made gifts.

We have this issue with one set of grandparents SallyB392 - they also spend hundreds.
I have just accepted it and make sure that what we do buy is exactly what they want/need and that it is durable if for a smaller grandchild.

Last Christmas I was praised by daughter-in-law for “never buying rubbish” and “stuff no one will want”.
I was obviously delighted.

Thought costs in time and energy. It’s easy to just spend if you have money.

Thought costs in time and energy. It’s easy to just spend if you have money.

Oh absolutely! I think our wealthy relatives just go to fancy shops and hand the assistant a list like "girl 12, boy 4, adult woman, adult man" and just hand over their credit card job done.

Not saying that nobody rich is thoughtful this is just our well off relatives.

I think theres a bit of a sting in the tale with their gifts actually, as if we must like then just because they are things we couldnt afford! (Even though we wouldnt chose them even if we could!)

Frankly I wish they just wouldnt bother. All their gifts show is how little intetest they actually have in my girls but thats another rant!

I think £30 on each child is ample. I also make craft things and re-cycle unwanted things too.

Spending hundreds is fine if they want to do so. It`s their bank balance to worry about afterall.

Happy Crimbel!

How old are the children? Could you have then to stay and make a den?

I’m godmother to the son of very, very wealthy parents. (He’s an adult now). Dreaded buying him gifts as he really did have everything, though they didn’t expect anything from me I felt I had to get something.
For Christmas one year when he was about 7, I bought him a book and a balloon kit that you made into animal shapes.

In the middle of our Christmas dinner, his mum rang to thank me for such a great gift. They had not got round to eating their meal as everyone was so involved with balloon blowing and twisting into shapes amidst much hilarity. She said all his other expensive presents had been ignored.

It isn’t always how much you spend that matters.

Don’t ever feel guilty and hopefully their mum and dad will know this. As long its been bought and given with love that makes the gift priceless

Can I just say a word to defend grandparents who are better off. We are in that position in our grandparental combo and we, like many other grandparents in our position do not spend hundred's of pounds on toys and clothes for our grandchildren nor do we work to the philosophy that Thought costs in time and energy. It’s easy to just spend if you have money.

We are really good friends with the 'other grandma', our families have melded together, when we visit DS & family - they live 200 miles away - we sleep-over at her house. We buy nothing without advice from our DS and DiL and always make sure that the main present comes from them. We do not spend vast sums of money on them. Our usual budget is about £50 for everything we buy each one, including stocking presents.

There are plenty of other ways we can discretely help the family without being seen to 'flash the cash'. We see them all frequently and money is never, ever a substitute for time and attention.

I agree with your last sentence M0nica, there certainly is no substitute for time and love.

But we are in a position to buy them presents they wouldn’t otherwise have, I never buy anything without consulting with my daughters, it’s slightly tricky, because one daughter is reasonably well off, and one isn’t, but they all have to be treated fairly.

I don’t feel awkward or guilty about buying them things they want, but I certainly don’t think it makes me the better granny

Sara65, no, nor do I

We set a limit of £25 for each child. We don't worry what other grandparents give. That's their business. This year I am going to give a family hamper to those with adult children. The little ones, 4 to 11, will receive a gift or two.
My adult children a box of goodies to share with spouse.
Please do not worry. It will spoil your months leading up to Christmas.
Why not gift sponser a Donkey at a local sanctuary...a membership to RSPB or similar. I don't know how old they are. Maybe a subscription to a comic. A lovely pile of colourful books (The Works have a great selection). New PJ's or nighties...I too have and do find great gifts in charity shops. You could make up a Christmas Eve Box. Controversial but it could be a tradition between you and the children.

Poundland have a big range of arts and crafts items plus toy cars etc. I used to give the grandsons £2 each and then let them choose whatever they wanted. For years we had a 4” hulk type character who doubled as a doctor, farmer, soldier, policeman or whatever the current game involved. Stretching their imagination doesn’t cost much but is invaluable in the long term.

I was just going to mention Poundland. I was in there the other day and they have a fantastic array of stuff for children.

They may not realise it now but when they are older they will know those home made gifts were made with love . It has also become quite trendy with those who have money , to buy hand made gifts .

All I am interested in doing is giving my grandchildren presents they long for, whether home made (mainly dolls clothes) or bought.

I couldn't care less whether what I give them is trendy or fashionable, just some thing that will delight them when they open it.

I think if you have any craft/sewing skills make your own gifts. One of my sons favourite gifts ever was a wooden duck his grandfather made. All his childhood toys that were plastic, have long gone along with the memory of who bought him what, but that duck he takes with him through every flat move and I imagine will be taken with him when he moves abroad too.
Kids aren’t stupid and become more aware of the adult politics as they get older.

The letters sound lovely, keep being yourself. I’m sure they love your gifts!

Several hundred! Ridiculous! Your £30 quid budget same as mine, perfectly adequate!

Mine both prefer home made gifts, a cardi knitted by nanny, a sewing kit they can do together that sort of thing.
At the moment the works are offering 2 for £10 on a good range of knitting kits, sewing kits, nail art, stone decorating etc maybe head there and pick up a book too.
Kids want time and attention not stuff.
Good luck. Xx

I am fairly generous with my family. I can't take it with me, so why not ? And, why give it to the taxman? I don't have a lot, but what I have, I give away, while I'm alive, keeping some for myself Ofcourse.

Sally, you should realise that your gifts are from the heart and no doubt that your grandchildren appreciate them just as just as those really expensive gifts. I regularly make my GD home made gifts and she really loves them because she knows I've made it just for her.

You give what you can afford and I think £30 each is more than enough. Don't let it play on your mind about what the other grandparents are spending.
Your love is the best gift of all.

We have a similar situation with my sister and her daughters children and their other GP. Similar except my sister is the one spending hundreds and the GC. I can tell it makes the other GP uncomfortable and it really is a shame. I loved the ideas mentioned above about the biscuits and cakes and letters year around.

What’s a Fart Trombone?
Sounds fun !

Hi Sally b392
I’m in the same boat as you. I put money every birthday and Xmas in a kids saving account. My dgs/d are 4 and 2 not old enough to be aware as they have so many gifts from the other grandparents. When the children are old enough to be aware I will explain that I’m saving for them so that when they are 18 plus they will have enough money to buy a car (they live in the country) or to put towards a deposit on a flat when they are in a position to do so.

As a small child my Mum once asked me what present I liked best from the many she and others had bought for me. I said I liked a small needle case and thimble shaped like a hat. A very inexpensive last minute stocking filler! No, children do not care about the cost.