Rude guests. Or is it me?

Oh, Yes the pub round. If you are single and you are out with a couple, why is it I pay alternately and not every third?

Thank goodness, although we have many visitors, we've only had one CF guest in the past few years - a Canadian cousin I'd never met before. He brought nothing, stayed 10 nights, I took him round London to see the sights, he never once put his hand in his pocket.

Dd was more assertive. He was over 20 years older than her, but when he wanted to visit a few pubs, she agreed to go with him - and he sat there while she paid for the first 2 rounds. For the 3rd she said, 'Come on - it's your turn.'

After he left there was not so much as an email to say thank you.
Never again - it will def. be 'not convenient' if he ever asks again.

Outrageous behaviour. I wouldn't dream of turning up a friends house, even for an evening, without bringing a gift of some sort, flowers, wine etc. If we ever stay with friends, I always make a point of doing all the washing up without being asked and also strip the bed in the morning. Some people don't deserve to be friends.

Tell them the room is not available. No need for explanation, just not available. It's YOUR home!

The sister of one of my oldest friends, whom I'd briefly met, asked if she and her husband could come and stay with me in Rome as they wanted to go to Bruce Springsteen's concert at Circo Massimo.

Not only did they then buy a ticket for me (it cost a bomb!) but they would also have got one for my Italian husband. When he said "Who's Bruce Springsteen?" I assured them that their generosity would have been wasted.

We had a memorable time: they loved my granny flat and I was probably the oldest among the crowd of The Boss's fans but I really enjoyed the four-hour-long concert, even though we stood the whole time.

I had a telephone call from a friend in another country asking for herself and her husband to stay with me for a week in February. I said I would prefer not as I was working all the hours I could but to come in the summer holidays. I was just divorced and short of cash with third daughter still at home. No, she said they will come as there was a special flight offers, please don't I said. Needless to say they booked flights to the furtherest airport for me to collect them from. I had to picked her up, over an hour's drive. Her husband wasn't with her, he was coming another day. I paid the parking ticket on the way out. How much did you pay, she asked me, 5 euros, that's funny because I paid less then that for the air fare!! Husband came two days later but I didn't pick him up, too busy At home they complained that the flat wasn't warm enough, didn't I have alimony, ( they switch it up higher) that the breakfast wasn't German - sausage meats, cheese extra-, told them where the shops were. Husband wanted his evening meal early, said it wasn't possible as I worked evenings but she could cook it and I would pop in between school and evening classes. They said that they would go out to eat, said good idea and they could take daughter, they didn't. They even complained that coffee was expensive on the Champs E. Drove them places at weekend, he offered to, as I had driven them, pay my entrance fee, lol. Had to take them to airport in a rush, got home and found they hadn't even stripped the beds. Present given a framed photo of themselves.

Some of these stories have reminded me of an occasion when we were the unwanted visitors.
We were in another country for an Easter wedding and friends of the bride offered to put us, a family of 5, up over the wedding weekend.
The friends had children the same age and they all had a great time though it became clear that the wife would go back to work, she was a teacher, on the Tuesday and had work prep to do at home.

We set off with fond goodbyes on the Monday morning but our car broke down and we were told it couldn't be fixed for a few days. Nothing to it but to return to the long suffering host family and beg to stay a few more nights.

The wife's face was a picture of horror! There was some exchange between the pair in their language.

However they asked us back in and our children were thrilled. I was embarrassed but there was no alternative.
If I gave them a gift, I am quite sure it wasn't adequate to match their hospitality.

We mived from London to Norfolk and the first summer there wasnt one weekend when we didnt have visitors. Okay some were family but a lot were casual friends from near us in London. But after the second year it did quieten down. When we moved to Portugal similar happened too. One second cousin of my late Dad wrote wanting to come out to visit us. They didnt want to hire a car so were expecting us to drive 100 miles to the airport to pick them up then drive them wherever they wanted to visit and the take them back to the airport at the end of the week. Obviously after a very cheap holiday so I actually said No it isnt covenient for us. Never heard from her again.

Because I live in central London I am a convenient location for people coming from the sticks to stay overnight for Heathrow on the way out and on the way back. I'm lucky in that I'm always given a nice present and they always offer to wash up etc etc.
Occasionally I'll put up friends of friends too. In decades I've only had one dud, an American, who complained bitterly that there weren't enough Starbucks in the UK and complained about the quality of my coffee!
I have made it sound as if I only have guests who see me as a convenient staging post but that's not the case. I'm expecting house guests in November who will be staying for a week and we have nice excursions planned...museums, a concert, etc. I will be staying with them in their lovely country cottage next Spring for a fortnight.

My bf (best friend) comes from abroad to visit family every couple years. She and her partner often stay up to a week with us as we are well situated for all their relations. I find if very tiring but love having them as I miss her so much. She always brings gifts and when we visit her has treated me to some fabulous experiences. I always take a case full of her favourite British goodies that she struggles to get where she is so neither feel resentful. I have used airbnb on visits abroad and despite having paid for my room etc still take a gift for the owner. I would have to say no to these people ever staying again, Im glad no one other than my bf ever want to stay here now though getting too old for the upheaval.

I'd be bothered if they invited themselves for any reason other than wanting my company. If they did not wash the dishes and so on I'd ask them to do so.

Seriously, some people have zero manners - and some grans on here need some assertiveness training. Don't allow yourselves to be used - you are not a hotel, friends and family who you kindly allow to stay with you should be suitably appreciative. If not, then make excuses the next time they try to impose on you!

There's just one person in my (small) circle of friends who regularly invites himself to stay with people - and contributes absolutely nothing.

Others point this habit out (talk behind his back) and give examples. It's become a standing joke. He even went to a birthday barbeque and party empty handed! The birthday boy asked where his present was. My friend replied 'You have the pleasure of my company!'

Once, he said how disappointing it was to be served pasta (not a favourite of his) when staying at his son's place. (His son has a wife and two small children to keep.) I suggested that he take them all out for a meal next time. 'Oh no' he said 'I have to pay my own train fare!'

Not me but my friend. Her niece and a friend, both from the USA, were backpacking and invited themselves on a couple of nights' stopover. Friend made the room very welcoming with fresh flowers and a little basket of toiletries/wipes that they might find useful. The toiletries were small individual bottles of shampoo, bodywash, lotion etc. Moulton Brown no less.
After they'd left my friend found the basket totally empty. They'd taken the lot with them!!

ALANaV, how I can identify with your post. We lived in Spain and when first there we were inundated with ‘friends’ wanting to come and visit and see what our situation was. It was certainly overwhelming at times and expensive. I remember being concerned at the amount money we were spending, looking after our ‘guests’. At times we were picking up one lot of guests and on the same trip taking our departing guests back to the airport. It was a lot of hard work, keeping up with the shopping, cleaning and bed changing etc. Some returning guests even complained when they were driven to the local places of interest by saying - “haven’t we been here before?” Not one guest wanted to hire a car themselves and discover the local area.

Really you shouldn,t have to lie to stop these people visiting . If I did that I would get in a mess and forget who it was I had said was stauing or whatever. As others have said are these people really friends or just using you?

A friend who has a lovely country place has asked us to parties down there, and, as her house is full with family we have stayed with her neighbour. I always take wine,flowers and chocs. I also always send a thank you letter. People can very thick skinned.

Don't go there ! We lived in Spain and suddenly discovered how many ;FRIENDS' we had back in the UK, who 'just happened' to be looking for somewhere to stay for a holiday ...and 'How do we find a nice local place to stay near you ' hint ...of course, we always invited them, took them around, bought meals, entertained them etc etc ….never had so much as a drink bought in return ……. Then we moved to France and a couple of 'acquaintances' who regularly drove from the UK down to Spain suddenly decided they would visit us every time they passed …..then declared 'This is good ...it is now our French holiday home and we will stay every time'...so I just said Ok lovely ...when I come to the UK next I will stay with you …………….wonder why I never heard any more from them ????

I had a married friend who asked to stay in my house whilst I was away. I agreed, spent ages cleaning and making up the bed for them. So they used my gas & electricity for a week then left a paltry sum on the table for me. When I heard they were going to Australia I asked if I could stay in their house. My friend refused! No excuse but she didn't like people staying in her house during her absence. I live at the seaside and the following year she asked if her son & his family could stay in my house: can you believe the cheek? I refused, but it left a nasty taste in my mouth.

It’s hard to imagine how house guests could be so selfish. When my friend comes from overseas once a year to visit her old haunts she always stays with me because I have the room, but insists on paying for everything from petrol to groceries while she is here. She also jumps up to get to any washing up, hoovering, cooking etc before me. I actually get a rest when she stays here! What a gem she is.

Have to not brave to sorry

I regularly go to stay with my best friend since I’ve moved a long way from her. We have been friends since childhood but I always take wine and flowers with me and I’ll pay for a meal out. Every Christmas I stay overnight with another friend when be go to a meal with friends. I always take her a bottle of wine for putting me up even though she always says I don’t brave to and then pay for her drinks at the meal because she drives there. It wouldn’t occur to me to do anything go no else and these are very old friends not cheeky acquaintances

Its rude. As you say, you are away next time. Stick to it. Unless oc course flowers arrive within the next few days.

Not really ‘friends’ then are they

Hi Thus makes me see red. Next time tell them it’s £50 per person per night with breakfast and dinner extra. They then won’t have to ‘thank’ you and you can use the money if they decide to stay to treat yourself. You are not a doormat and to have people ‘friends’ or otherwise treat you as such is unacceptable.