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causing offense?

(230 Posts)
Fennel Fri 04-Oct-19 12:00:16

I was in the lift going up to Tesco yesterday, with a Gran and her grandson in a push chair.
The little boy had beautiful auburn hair so I said "He's a real gingernut!" At first I thought the Gran didn't look too pleased, so I said "My hair used to be that colour". After a pause, she said "So was mine".
Do some people take offense at being called Ginger? I got called many teasing names.

dizzygran Sat 05-Oct-19 10:34:02

What a stupid thoughtless thing to say. My wonderful gs is a red head and does not like being called ginger. Please think before you speak. Especially to strangers.

freestyle Sat 05-Oct-19 10:37:22

It isn’t friendly chit chat when you are being personal about a child’s or adults appearance.

grannytotwins Sat 05-Oct-19 10:39:04

My twin GC have beautiful red hair. If anyone called them gingernuts I wouldn’t be offended at all.

Soozikinzi Sat 05-Oct-19 10:41:46

There’s a lot of ginger bullying in schools these days sadly because commenting on any other skin tone is unacceptable . I also have red hair as does my husband and our 6 sons . They all had a good laugh about it but a sensitive child might not I blame a lot of it on south park cartoon where they used to say gingers have no souls fortunately I don’t think it’s on any more . I once complained about a Rubens advert where a little girl with beautiful red hair wanted it to turn blonde it was never shown again! Imagine them putting that on about any other skin and hair tone !!!!

LJP1 Sat 05-Oct-19 10:42:57

You never have to take offence even if it is given. You remain much happier like that.

Gonegirl Sat 05-Oct-19 10:43:22

My grandson heads his Instagram account with

? I aM A giNgER ?
Ginger=great
Make ginger gr8 again

grin Let them fight for themselves I say.

Soozikinzi Sat 05-Oct-19 10:43:38

Ribena advert that should have been- you probably never saw it because they took it off straight away I imagine a few people complained !

Oopsminty Sat 05-Oct-19 10:44:03

I think this thread proves that some would be offended and some wouldn't!

NannyC1 Sat 05-Oct-19 10:48:19

So if the child was obese would you comment on that in a "funny" way. And it's seems other GNs didn't like being called gingernut when they were young, so it's obviously NOT a new thing.

SirChenjin Sat 05-Oct-19 10:48:44

Anyone come across the awful Slap a Ginger Day?

They don’t call it Slap a Redhead Day for a reason

mernice Sat 05-Oct-19 10:52:32

Fennel, they would be the same I’m sure! Not a good choice of words , but you know now.
I don’t agree though with the person who said that you can’t make unsolicited comments today. If I’ve seen beautifully behaved children having a meal with parents, I tell them quietly how good their children have been. If I see a child dressed in some sort of fancy dress, I have a little appropriate word, etc. All these thing are always met with lovely smiles of appreciation. Never miss a chance to spread a bit of happiness.

sarahellenwhitney Sat 05-Oct-19 10:53:21

Sign of the times and just another expression clearly not appreciated.

rizlett Sat 05-Oct-19 10:54:15

Post your comment on mumsnet fennel and then link to the thread via this one.

It seems a few of us grans would learn some new things.

I wonder if our views would be different if you'd commented on a child's skin colour. Strange that we feel its ok to comment on how we feel others look.

Hetty58 Sat 05-Oct-19 10:54:16

The fact remains that personal remarks about appearance (especially from strangers), even if complimentary, are often unwelcome!

Sb74 Sat 05-Oct-19 10:55:53

You would have slaughtered on mumsnet op ?. It was rude. Best not to say anything really nowadays.

jaylucy Sat 05-Oct-19 11:01:07

Being ginger (or was) myself, I have no problem with it and can actually only remember being called by it about twice - probably because my hair was more of a strawberry blonde.
My son never liked his hair colour when he was in his teens and died it all different colours (even blue at one time) but is okay now.
Coming from a family where red hair was prevalent I have always been proud of my hair colour - only drawback is that as it is so noticeable, it always has to look good - no bad hair days!

Sb74 Sat 05-Oct-19 11:02:16

@mernice just to comment on your message. Someone walked over to me in a restaurant once and said how impressed she was my children were eating proper meals and not junk like many kids. This sounds like the kind of comment you think would be ok but it wasn’t welcome to be honest neither would people telling us our children are behaving well. Sounds a bit patronising and invasive to a family situation so maybe not as ok as you think sorry. We smiled and said thanks too, what else would you do? but we didn’t appreciate it. Sorry. But strangers remarks are often not welcome whether nice or not.

Hazeld Sat 05-Oct-19 11:04:42

I agree Sussexborn. Too much of the pc brigade going on. People get offended at the slightest thing these days.

whywhywhy Sat 05-Oct-19 11:09:30

My hair was very ginger when I was young but being in the North East I never got teased as there were a lot of kids with similar coloured hair at the time. Now it is much lighter and can be described as a strawberry blonde. I have always loved my hair colour. I dont think some people like the term "ginger nut" though.

Sb74 Sat 05-Oct-19 11:11:22

The problem with saying stuff to strangers is that you have no idea about their life or anything going on. A harmless comment as you see it may really offend, upset or cause trouble. Best to leave complements to those you know.

Bbarb Sat 05-Oct-19 11:13:06

I think it becomes less offensive the further north you go. Ginger-nuts in Scotland and the north of England are ten a penny, and I never felt insulted by the term, and was never teased at school. In fact hardly anybody noticed.

sylviann Sat 05-Oct-19 11:14:02

People take offence too easily these days

TrendyNannie6 Sat 05-Oct-19 11:21:09

I would definately take offence if anyone called my grandchild a ginger nut I love red hair but I would have said what beautiful hair

Mimidl Sat 05-Oct-19 11:22:03

I have two red headed children in their 20’s and they are so relaxed with the colour of their hair that my son’s nickname is Ginge.

I think if you make it a big deal it becomes one, whether it’s your hair colour, size, glasses or something else.

Sb74 Sat 05-Oct-19 11:23:59

I think most people would find gingernut offensive wherever they live so probably best not to risk saying it as you can’t assume you’re talking to one of the minority that don’t.