True or False

Nobody should judge.
Nor should anyone begrudge another.
You never ever know when things change for others or moreover for yourself.

Not. a. clue.

and

C.b.a.

Nope - jealousy has not jumped out at me as a theme on Gransnet; and very definitely not from your post ann.

If someone on here has made you feel bad, then you need to completely ignore them. As others have said, it is easy to be unkind from behind the shelter of the internet. On the occasions when this happens, I tell myself that I cannot know what is going on in that person's life that makes them hit out inappropriately.

On the other hand, I have been on the receiving end of some wonderful kindness during recent troubles and am very thankful indeed for that. On the whole these acts of kindness far outway the occasional bit of flak.

The only person I am jealous of is my friend, whose 2 of 3 sons are unbelievably devoted to her - they take her on holidays , they are at her beck and call. She only has to sneeze and they are there with a bottle of Vick - half the time she exaggerates her illnesses - our cold is her flu. There you go - I have exhibited all the signs of a very jealous person.?

As I said earlier I don't so much detect jealousy as judgment from some users. Most people on GN do not do this and understand what GN is all about. As GN tells us this forum is for debate, support and sharing a laugh. We are asked to use the same courtesy we would show when speaking face to face. Personally I find the majority of people do just that. There is absolutely no need for the minority to use bad manners and impoliteness. They spoil the enjoyment of this forum for those who want to discuss important issues in a balanced and logical way without getting out of their pram!

Ellan

Oddly enough this was our breakfast conversation, we were discussing some old friends who constantly strove to have the biggest and flashiest of everything, they were never happy unless they thought we were all madly envious of them, we weren’t!

Jealous of anything in particular? I've not noticed it but maybe I'm a bit thick.

It's only human nature to feel envy if others are cleverer, richer, more successful, younger, prettier, etc, etc.

On the whole I expect people on GN are a bit older, more experienced in life and have a better perspective on things due and are full of sage advice with a sense of humour thrown in. We've been there, done that, been sick down the t-shirt.

There's good and bad in all.

I've never been jealous/envious of anyone at all, have never " kept up with the Jones's " in any way and never followed fashion or the latest gadget that others have.
I'm myself, an individual and don't have to follow like a sheep.

I really enjoy the forum reading about the ways of life of others, etc, holidays, gardens, foods, everyday problems and ills----the list goes on, jealousy doesn't come into it as far as I'm concerned. It's a bad trait.

Thanks, absent!

I didn't know it was a biblical reference - it was one my DM used occasionally!

It does seem a strange thing to think of you annsixty. It feels like it says more about them than you. Perhaps its been said to them and they are projecting it on to someone else, in this case you? Ignore it. Its patently untrue.

I agree with Elegran, it’s easy to be snide and unkind when nobody can see you. Sometimes I think this whole thing is a bit strange, we talk to people we’d never come across in real life, often that’s good, but sometimes , I know there are certain people I’d avoid like the plague, and they probably think the same about me!

This has never crossed my mind. I am not sure why you would think this. Maybe I'm just naive.

I have not noticed any threads motivated by envy or jealousy, but perhaps I am not too perceptive or good at reading between the lines! Then again, I have seen a good few posts where the smugness and 'I am alright Jack' has put my teeth on edge.

Vast numbers motivated by jealousy.
I have not noticed this in threads.

I don't believe that's true, i think on any forum you might get some jealousy or nasty comments but i don't believe it's any different here

I find that most posters are not the least bit jealous/envious of others, nor do most posters judge a person's lifestyle and choices. There are a few who do either or both, but that is so in real life, too, and they tend to be the first to cry foul if anyone speaks sharply to them. There are a few also who seem only to have joined to keep up an exchange of arguments on all subjects - I assume that is their form of mental exercise.

I was a bit envious last week visiting a friend who’s daughters and grandchildren live a couple of doors away and pop in and out all the time.

Then she told me that she was taking anti depressants and having counselling for anxiety.

And that she envied me.......

I have no idea who on earth could be jealous of you annsixty I just know that you are one of the kindest, most warm hearted people I have never met.

I think there’s a world of difference between jealousy and envy. Jealously is a horrid emotion that could end up eating you away whereas a little envy can be healthy.

I love hearing about people’s travels, holiday, trips and plans but rarely get to go anywhere myself. I might say that I envy their trip to the sunshine (wishing I could go too) but I am never jealous or begrudging of someone else’s good fortune.

As I have said on other posts “pissing on your lawn ain’t gonna make mine any greener” is it?

Of course the other side is that some people (not saying anyone on GN) make themselves feel better by making others feel worse.

Like some others, I’ve no idea what precipitated this thread.

But I wouldn’t say ‘vast numbers’ of posters are motivated by jealousy.

I can think of one or two who seem to have rather large chips on their shoulders, but that’s all.

Like absent, jealousy and envy take up very little, if any, of my emotional energy. Perhaps we’re just unusually blessed.

I’m afraid I don’t know specifically what you’re referring to. But I don’t think you can be jealous of other posters, you Ann, or anyone else, we only see what they want us to see, just a snapshot of their lives really.

I sometimes read about someone’s amazing holiday and think how wonderful that would be, but it’s not jealousy.

You sound a bit down about it, it sounds like you have many friends here, who support you, that’s got to be good.

Callistemon "Pride goeth before adversity and an haughty spirit before a fall." You can freestyle paraphrase "adversity" and "a fall" from the King James Bible.

I suspect that people who feel jealousy are quick to ascribe the same emotion to others. Neither jealousy nor envy have ever been dominating feelings in my life, although I am willing to admit that there has been the odd, but quickly passing twinge of discomfort when I felt undervalued or overlooked in comparison with someone else.

I don't spend much time on Gransnet these days compared with when I first joined at the beginning. However, throughout all the years, it has never occurred to me that "vast numbers of posters are motivated my jealousy". Given the wide range of topics over – say – a year, it seems extremely unlikely.

KatyK I don't understand it either.
However, you never seem to come across as jealous annsixty.

We do come across 'smug' people in all areas of life and I just remember the old saying that 'pride comes before a fall'.

Sometimes I may envy people my age with robust health who never seem to suffer an ache or pain, but I suppose that envy is one of the deadly sins too

...any rebuttals? ??

Judy54
none of us has the right to judge a person's lifestyle and choices
Most people on GN do just that.