Friend is alway late

Years ago I arranged to meet a friend who was notorious for always being late. At her request we were to meet outside the cafe. I stood for at least 30 minutes waiting for her even though the weather was cold and wet. Getting fed up I decided to go inside and started to queue to get a drink. Friend wafted in and as she passed me asked me to get her a drink and sat down at a table to wait for it and me. I never arranged to meet her again and told her why. She laughed.

Ooops - I'm a latey! Much as I try to make an effort to be on time it doesn't seem to happen. We have some friends who will tell us they would like us to come to dinner half an hour earlier than they actually want us so we would get there on time. Try that - it might work!

I like to be punctual and am routinely the first to arrive. Esther has given good advice.

There was a thread on MN where a poster's husband was so annoyed at a friend's habitual lateness he told the doorman to turn them away - at a wedding for heaven's sake, giving them 'what for' and their friendship ended there.

Most of the time we don't have to be so extreme. Your friendship can survive but it requires give and take, but mostly on your side, I fear.

I was brought up on maxim that better an hour early than a minute late.
It drives me mad when people are late but I have learnt to always tale my Kindle with me & if I am sitting waiting I can at least amuse myself.
Have you noticed people who are late very rarely apologise or think it is a bad thing!

What she is telling you is that she feels her time is much more important than yours. I hate being late, I would arrive 20 - 30 mins early rather than be 5 mins late. Tell her how you feel. Next time she said she will meet you at 10.30 don't arrive until 11, see how she likes it. If it annoys you that much, stop meeting her, It is just bad manners to do this,

My husband is always late. It's part of him. I learned years ago to expect him half an hour later than he says. My pet hate is he'll stop to answer the phone if we're on our way out. I'll say leave it, he says it might be important.

I had a friend like that, always arriving late so that she could be the centre of attention. For my 60th I said I would have a dinner party at home, please arrive 7.00 for drinks, dinner served at 8. They arrived at 8 in a big flurry. When I said I need to serve up now, she said, oh no, let’s have a drink first.

After many other instances like that I finally stopped seeing her, she was driving me demented with her selfishness and attention seeking.

I'm another one who certainly turns up on time, if not early, I do appreciate that one particular friend has a funny idea of time, so I just get a coffee sit down and wait. Now I'm wondering should I? Living in the SE doesn't help as everybody can blame the traffic anyway.

fizzers, my mum lived in Scotland at the end of her life but 99.9% of her friends and family were in London so we arranged for the funeral to be down here, in the church her children were christened in and where she (despite being agnostic-ish) had been very involved in parish events and so her elderly friends could attend. We couldn't have made it easier. It's not as if ex-friend had to schlepp all the way up past Ayr.

No excuse , especially with mobile phones.
If it happened again I would leave a note/ send a text saying, sorry I can’t wait any longer.

oh LondonGranny that was awful, surely she could've made an effort for such an important date? I would've been gutted.

I had a friend like that. We went to primary school together and our mums were best friends. I always used to joke to my kids to tell her when I died my funeral was an hour earlier than it really was.
As it happens she was so late for my mum's funeral that she even missed the sandwiches in the hall afterwards and flustered in, full of excuses (but no apology) when we were clearing up.
Even her mum (in the early stages of dementia) managed to get there in good time under her own steam. I didn't say anything but I was really extremely hurt. I just stopped inviting her for anything and I haven't seen her for years. I don't think she has even noticed, she's so wrapped up in herself.

Mm-how rude! As OP says just say the wrong time and/or say text me.

I am very very punctual and have a similar friend to you. We would arrange a time to meet in Costa, I would get there, queue up and buy a coffee and wait and wait for her - and then get a message to say she was ‘running late and just leaving her house now!!’ Grrr - I would think of all the errands in town I could be getting done. I have got round this by saying to her ... ‘message me when you’re leaving your house’ knowing that we both take about the same length of time to drive into town and park. This way I can carry on getting things done at home without wasting time. It works really well.

I have a similar friend, I no longer suggest meetups. Not being nasty but it was getting to the stage it was a waste of my time. I just keep in touch by email, text or cards. The longest I sat was up to an hour, never again and as you say, there is always an excuse. Mistook, the time, lost track of time etc Yet, could always turn up for other people or events on time. Don't get me wrong, lovely person but I just felt I was the one making all the effort. One sided friendships don't work.

I had a friend like that. I would always tell him half an hour before the actual time. Worked a treat.

I understand your frustration.I hate being late for anything or keeping anybody waiting.Why don't you try turning up half an hour late next time?