Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

Hope all went as well as possible Luckygirl. Now ??

I have been checking in all afternoon to see if Lucky girl had posted.
I think she probably has enough on her plate to do so.
I can only say that the day I took my H into care was the worst day of my life.
The days leading up to it were a progression of “ last times” last Saturday evening, last Sunday lunch etc , but the day I took him out of our home for the last time was so distressing I can’t describe it.
I hope Lucky and her H survived it.

Well - he is in.

Things got off to a bit of a difficult start as the taxi was VERY late. OH was needing the commode, which is a hell of a lengthy palaver using standing aids and so on. We did not know whether to try and get him on it, in the certain knowledge that the taxi would roll up the instant we did; or to put him through an uncomfortable journey. In the end he managed to cope till we got there - phew!

The staff were lovely to him and coped well with the presence of 3 DDs and a wife. When we first arrived the girls were not yet there and the 2 carers in the room asked if OH had any other children (??) and I explained that we have 3 DDS and they would be here soon. They then said they thought I was his DD!!!!!

It was a bit chaotic as there were certain things that the staff needed to do: checking his health as a baseline, putting tiny tags on his clothes so they would not get lost in the laundry etc. The only slightly worrying thing was that one of the carers did not realise he needed his cavillon cream on pressure areas morning and night; but there is a sister on duty and I am sure she will get on top of all this.

The girls and assorted GC came back here with fish and chips; but now they are gone and I have to get my head round being here on my own long term.

OH was really unemotional about it all, which in one way is a good thing as he is not upset in any way; but I feel sad that the part of his brain that registers these sort of emotions seems to be fading away rapidly - it is another step on the way to losing him. But I will be there for him whenever he needs me.

A tiring day, which was much helped by all your good wishes.

Oh Luckygirl that is such a poignant post.

I'm glad it all went well, given the circumstances.

My best friend's dh was admitted into care at very short notice a year ago, due to Alzheimer's, and will never go home again. Indeed, he no longer has any concept that there is anywhere called home, he's never mentioned it since the day he last walked out of the door. It's a huge thing to come to term with for my friend.

So glad family were around you on this big day in your life. You know he's going to be well cared for at all times, even while you're sleeping. It's what you both need.

Hugs for being very brave. xx

Courage- I am glad you have been that huge step together. Get some well earned sleep now <3 x

Lucky you have been amazing. Time for some rest and self care now.

I’m so glad it went as well as it did x

I’ve just caught up with this thread Lucky and am just glad things went as well as they did and that you had the support of your DDs.

It will feel strange lucky but you gave done a brilliant job so far. Gentle ((((hugs))))

So pleased the day went as smoothly as it could. Now is the time for you to get some rest and get your head in order knowing your DH is being well taken care of.

Just rung to see if he is OK and they said he is very anxious about whether they are giving him the right medication - I felt quite upset and then had to remind myself that he always does this, wherever he is and whoever is giving the drugs - including me. Fingers crossed.

Lucky it will take time but soon you will all get into a routine and you will have peace of mind. Sleep well xx

Luckygirl, well done.
Night, night, sleep tight and {{{hugs}}} to you.

So pleased to see you've made it Lucky and yes, of course there will be things that will upset you during the transition process, but it is done, you know he is safe, being cared for properly, and these little upsets will gradually be smoothed out. And the weight will start to lift from your shoulders.

Sleep well tonight

and breathe....... sleep well

Hope DH is well settled in today lucky . Hope he is comfortable and well looked after.

Glad he's safe and comfortable and all the stress of the day to day nursing care you've had is now on other shoulders. You can go back to being his loving wife and your visits will be so enjoyable for you both.

I had planned to go in to see him this afternoon when all the general hubbub of getting him up, dressed and showered would be over, but they rang early to say he did not have one of his heart drugs there - he should have had as I know I took them in! But I managed to find some in the cupboard so went straight in with them - all well now, phew!

Various DDs and their families appeared and it was pretty chaotic one way and another, so I have slipped away and left them to it. I am hoping that by tomorrow things will be more peaceful and I can have some quiet time with him.

He does seem OK though - very anxious last night but calmer now - and..he....has..had..a..bath!!!!! The first for a very long time. He found it a bit painful because of his sore back; but he survived it; and he was fine when I left him with the DDs, whom he loves dearly. But he will need a sleep at some point!

This afternoon I plan to lie on the sofa and listen to the wonderful Radio 3 afternoon programmes, whilst reading a book by Billy Connolly - that should cheer anyone up!

You'll be able to settle in to more of a routine during the week.
A bath! Wonderful. ?

Enjoy your afternoon of peace, so very pleased that at least physically things are working out for your DH.

I hope you were able to enjoy the rest of your day yesterday, and that you have a lovely visit today.

Thank you. It was a good visit. He opted to go to a meeting of residents - to my great surprise! The carers were lovely and helpful - moving him from A to B is very challenging.

During this meeting (only 4 residents there) they were told that a group of children were coming on halloween and that the residents could help them with their craft activities if they would like to. Organiser turned to OH and asked if he liked children and, quick as a flash, he said: " yes - but I can only eat one at a time!" - now that is the old OH!!!! It was very heartening to hear this; and makes me feel that he is feeling secure.

I asked him a bit about how he felt he was settling and he was quite happy and had no grumbles.

So.......a good start; fingers crossed that this lasts.

I’m so very, very pleased to hear this.

What a relief for you

Have been thinking about you for several days and am so relieved that it looks as if things are going right at last. Just having carers who know what they’re doing must give him confidence, and he is still the professional he always was and will respond to that.

Hope things continue to go well.