Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

Brilliant news lucky. Let us know how it goes.

Good. Of course you're not "throwing in the towel". You've done a great job and you're no spring chicken yourself.

Great news, now please start taking care of you.

I second Dillyduck's suggestion that you join the CarersUK forum. Hopefully, things will be easier when he's at the home, but I doubt that you'll be able to relax very much.

You have done so well Lucky. Hope DH settles and you get some time to care for yourself.

Well done Lucky, all your perseverance is at last paying off. You must be exhausted, but soon you will be able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. I do hope Saturday goes well for you both.

That’s a relief *lucky. I hope Saturday goes well.

Thank you all.

I had contacted my MP because I was getting nowhere with the SSD. The result of that was that I received a phone call from one of the managers. I had a list of questions and requests for assurances that I was determined to pin her down on; with a certain success. But it remains to be seen whether they will honour their undertakings. I struggled not to laugh during the call as I could tell that she had been on the same course as I had when a SW on "How to deal with difficult people." And her conversation was peppered with phrases like value-driven, person-centred and other such nonsense when all I want to know is are they going to make a financial contribution to OH's care. If she said due processes once more I might have lost the will to live.

The whole money side of things is very daunting and keeps dropping into my mind unbidden.

But this evening my OH said he was looking forward to going to the NH - I think he is tired of half-hearted cobbled together care - and who can blame him. I hope so much that they live up to expectations. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed.

It will take a few weeks before you will gain confidence in the care Lucky but that peace of mind will come and you will be able to breathe again. I know how you feel about throwing in the towel as I did when my parents went into care but it turned out to be the best decision for all of us.

Wishing you and your DH all the best for tomorrow Lucky. I hope the move for him goes smoothly and all your expectations on his care are met - the care home itself sounds wonderful and the fact that he says he's looking forward to it is a bonus. I'm sure you'll shed a few tears as you leave him but the quality time you'll be able to spend together going forward will be worth it. Hopefully the finances will sort themselves out in due course too.

Good news lucky. I'm so very pleased for you and your dh. Hope the move goes well and you've got a few treats in mind for yourself.

Thank you - just getting together the things that he will need to take. All 3 girls will be around to help settle him in and make sure he knows he is not forgotten.

Deep breath!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Lucky

What a week, lucky, hope the transition goes as smoothly as it possibly can.

Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow, Luckygirl. It’s been some rollercoaster for you all, but I hope things will now start to settle.

I sympathise with you so much, I had sort of the same situation with a very close relative, she was being scammed at home, I was too far away to look after her and I made the decision to bring her to a care home near me. I felt so guilty putting her in there, hated the idea, so did she I think, although she never complained. Anyway, now two months later she loves it, she wishes she had done it earlier, and I can see her as often as I want. I know your OH is not well but you will still be able to be with him as much as you want, but the one thing is you will sleep at night and get your rest, which you need. His life will not be over, just different, but he will be cared for. Do it, you will not regret it, and just make sure you are there for him as much as you can be. Sending loads of good wishes for you both xx

Best wishes for tomorrow xxxx

Thank you so much to you all. Lots of help around for the move tomorrow, so that is good. I just wish the GC would stop saying "Oh Grandma, you will be all on your own"!!! They mean well though - it is nice that they are able to empathise when they are so wee.

Sending good wishes to you, your DH and daughters

The hoops you have had to jump through are unbelievable* - where is the humanity in all of this?

*Sadly, I do believe it. My darling sister was told she had a terminal brain tumour earlier this year yet she was also deemed not ill enough for services to kick in. She died about two months after diagnosis. Just how ill does one need to be to be given help? Is being dead ill enough for them?

Anyway, I hope the move goes smoothly and everyone's quality of life improves so that you can all enjoy each other's company without the day-to-day strain.

I’m sending my best wishes to you Luckygirl and Mr Lucky for today and hope that future times will be less fraught and you can both settle and enjoy your time together. X?

Just wishing you lots of luck today, may it all go smoothly. I hope you will not be alone this evening x

Sending my best wishes for today Lucky.

Keepimgvyou in my thoughts today luckygirl

Luckygirl. I so hope the move went as smoothly as possibly for you and your DH.