Why ??

Guilt.

I think Mark Anthony said the same about Julius Caeser. But he was dead.

Well, it might not be quite the same thing.

"The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones."

But it is sort of.

Well I m not guilty if anything much I m talking about little things for crying out loud not a blooming murder

Sorry! Just made me think of it.

Meant a feeling of guilt not that you were guilty of anything. Been there, done that, said or done the wrong thing and it just plays on a loop. On the odd occasion I have done or said the right thing it doesn’t happen.

I never find myself thinking about when I did something nice for someone (which I frequently do I hope). I just think 'Oh I hope I didn't upset so and so when I said such and such'.

BlueBelle I wonder if fear is at the root of it?

I think we remember because we want to be able to go back and change it so we tend to dwell on the memory. Our good deeds don't need to be changed so we can safely forget them.

I do the same. I had a lovely evening out with my book group a few weeks ago, but laying in bed that night I was agonizing over one voiced opinion that perhaps I should have kept to myself. Obviously still thinking about it.

I think we sometimes worry too much about how others think of us. Which I guess in the long run is good otherwise we would not fit into society. "Must learn to shut my trap sometimes!' she says to herself over and over at 3 am.

It's all those cats playing on your mind BlueBelle ?

It’s a woman thing! ?
Bet men never think along those lines.I imagine most of us have those thoughts from time to time, but better not to dwell on things.

It's not fear or guilt, at least not in this case.

It is simply the human bent towards negativity.
Let me illustrate:

You are at a function and think you look pretty good, in fact several people have admired your outfit and said so. You're smiling.
Then an acquaintace sidles up to you and whispers, "What an earth made you wear that? It doesn't suit you at all and the colour is dreadful.'

Do you go by the 5 people who said you look great and continue in buoyant mood, or immediately want to go home and change?

Of course, there are those who will just shrug it off, at least on the outside and pretend they don't care but most people will immediately feel less than their best and wrong-footed.

We are somehow programmed to remember our own negative traits and perhaps it's to remind us to curb them if we can and dwell more on the positive.

Of course if we are egged on to continue complaining by others (ahem, ahem) we get worse.

We can be too self- critical . Many times I've apologised for saying things and the person doesn't even remember!