Random acts of kindness

Can't see why you feel so rejected!
OK so you gave her a pound coin - she wanted to pay you for it, fair enough. Many people, especially elderly don't like to think they are getting something for nothing.
When she started rummaging in her purse for the change to pay you, you could have easily said "no, that is absolutely fine, put a donation in one of the collection boxes" and walked away - unless you thought she was going to chase you round the shop like something out of Benny Hill !!

Aren't some people simply delightful?

My husband once pointed out to the "lady " in the next car to his, in traffic jam that her rear light was not working. Her response "what the has it go to do with you.

Great, isn't it, harrigran. Though I did once wonder why a heavily pregnant woman laden with heavy shopping bags gave me the evils when I rushed to open the door for her and advised her that she shouldn't be carrying so much in her condition.

She wasn't pregnant.

I had a long saga of acts of kindness with a one legged tramp called Pete in my early 20’s. Firstly I got in touch with a church homes association and spent days getting him a flat which he promptly refused saying he couldn’t live indoors ! He also said he hadn’t asked me to interfere which was true. Then he begged me to buy him a bottle of whisky and eventually I snapped I can’t afford it ! He said I never asked you to pay for it and pulled out 3x £20 notes! Then one day ( he lived at the end of my street) I was on my way home with a brand new copy of Rimbaud poetry. He said what’s that? I told him ( I was too polite in those days) He promptly quoted Le bateau ivre by Rimbaud word perfect, grabbed my book, drew a picture of Christ in it, said his mother was an alcoholic who beat him badly then died when he was 17 which reduced me to tears! To this day I’ve never seen such an amazing drawing of Christ! I was once talking to him and noticed the disgust and harshness in peoples eyes and realised what he lived with every day. Despite that there was the strangest dignity about him.

I think she just wanted to pay you back in change probably couldn’t believe that someone would give her the pound. I would have done the same ,I would probably have paid you in 50p and rest. Lovely gesture from you

I was in a shop and a lady on a mobility scooter was struggling to reach something on a shelf, I offered to get it for her but she said " if I wanted help I would ask for it " Charming.

It was kind of you you do that for her but I don't think she was rejecting you. She was probably grateful you gave her a pound coin. I think I would have also felt the need to pay you back though.
You were still kind to realise she needed a coin and to offer her one regardless of whether she paid you back.

Always remember to give you must be willing to receive....... Yes even 85p for a £

Smiling at strangers. Do it all the time in our village but have to stop myself when I go into larger towns where no eye contact is the rule.

Beckett - how sad. I'm tall so often get called on in supermarkets to reach items down from the top shelf, so will not rush on in future.

Slightly off topic (apologies) but so many people are pointing out how the giving gives as much pleasure as the receiving. It reminds me of all those posts on other threads where people ask their family not to give them Christmas presents. Always seems a bit mean to me.

I think you did a very kind thing and I think we should not be embarrassed to just say thank you nicely.

I always say a big thank you if offered a seat on the train and have several times lately been offered to go in front of people in the supermarket queue as I have one or two items and hey have a trolley full, I have also offered this myself. I think if we are grateful it will encourage people to do it more.

I offered a local person £10 when she was clearly in a real pickle as she hadn't got money for her electricity meter, it was cold, her partner was working away etc. She was so reluctant to take it and said she couldn't see any way of paying it back in the next few weeks but we resolved it by my saying that perhaps when she found someone else in need she could pass it on. I didn't mention that I had won £25 from Premium Bonds that morning as that would have seemed wrong to say, but somehow it seemed a fairer distribution of good luck!

Not rejection in my eyes, the lady wanted to put het own money in, by taken your money she may have felt as she was not putting towards the charity.

You burdened her with your kindness. She burdened you with her change.

You never know how much a small act will mean to someone.

I was in the supermarket a little while ago and saw a lady struggling to reach something on the top shelf of the freezer cabinet - I offered to get it for her. After we had a short chat about nothing in general and as I moved away she said "Thank you - you are the first person I have spoken to in over a week"

Merchant of Venice, Fennel! O level English Lit circa 1971 never-to-be-forgotten!

I’m always appreciative when someone offers help and accept with a heartfelt thank you, even if I can actually manage whatever it is myself. I think it’s the offer rather than the actual deed that’s important isn’t it? Someone’s heart is in the right place.

A couple of weeks ago I was returning to a car park which happens to be up quite a short steep hill. A lady behind me was clearly struggling with her shopping so I offered to carry some of her bags for her. She refused but then talked all the way up the hill about all her ailments and her sad life. She was probably about 20 + years younger than I am. Some people just want someone to talk to and listening costs nothing , except time maybe.

I’ve always smiled at the saying
“No good deed goes unpunished”

I've noticed over the years that people just don't know how to accept kindness and generosity with grace.

"Oh, you shouldn't have..."
"No, it's all right, I'll manage..." when clearly they will not.

And so much more, as if the receiver is determined to devalue the gift and the giver. They don't mean to but that's the result.

So I know how lizzypopbottle was made to feel and now I smile and say, 'Oh, thank you, how kind of you.'

Or some other positive phrase meant to allow the giver to feel as they deserve.

Lessismore think I'll follow your bad example. I might as well embarrass my children by becoming a nasty old cow

I think I might do random acts of nastiness like The Dame Judi Dench sketches ( Tracey Ullman).

Aw your posts are lovely. I was so proud of my son one night as called in to see me. He said sorry he was late but he’d just helped an old lady of the bus struggling with shopping. He then told me he’d took the shopping right to her door a few streets down i was quietly proud!

Gilly I am always smiling at strangers, maybe thats why my gc call me Barmey

I was at a checkout with just 3 small items I needed and found I had forgot my purse, in was in my other bag. The lovely lady next to me, a Jamaican, offered to pay. I was so embarrassed I said no but she insisted laughing in that lovely deep voice that they have and said it could happen to her one day and she hoped someone would do the same for her. I accepted and we left as friends.