Decision making in retirement!!

So many choices! We usually take a while thinking about big decisions like holidays or home improvements etc. Actually I quite enjoy that bit. Weighing up possibilities all of which are nice is a very pleasant aspect of having time to think and talk about it all.

Yes, kitty, it's all a bit overwhelming! I keep telling myself that it's because we've found contentment and that that doesn't involve struggling to make decisions. During our busy working lives we had to fit everything in in a hurry whereas now we have all the time in the world to dawdle.
We've decided to divide up the labour, DH is to take on the building projects as he us very practical and used to dealing with contractors. I'm more for the creative things so that is working fine. Holidays are a problem area, too many lovely places to visit, though on a recent thread here I was pleased to see we had already "done" about 75% of the lovely suggestions.
The decisions we make on a daily basis like when to walk the dog or where to go for lunch are easy enough, maybe the bigger ones will come with time.

We usually give each other suggestions - my DH is always sending emails with suggested holidays.

We too are planning to redo our lounge next year but have whittled it down to new chairs and lights. We decided the rest was fine especially after cleaning the carpet.

Whether we get round to doing any of these things is another matter. In the end I have to make the decision. We are having a new bathroom next week - talked about it forever but eventually I made the appointment with the shop concerned and started the ball rolling.

I think one of you has to grasp the mettle.

I was once told a trick which has helped me.
It may help you too.

Write a list of choices (as you have above), then just pick one, any one, you can even do it eyes-closed with a pin.

Then call that 'our decision' and let it mull over in the mind for a week or so.
It soon becomes apparent if it's not the right choice.

Then you go back to your list and cross it off.
If it seems right, cross off the others !


It's like having 22 different choices of shampoo in the supermarket - we can do without all that hassle.

As for decorating. I was always told the carpet is the last thing to replace when refurbishing a room.

I think we can be overwhelmed by myriad choices at times. I daresay we are lucky to have them - first world problems I think the younger ones started calling them?

Occasionally it’s the little things that add to the confusion! I’ve been known to say to my husband ‘you just decide I’m happy to eat/visit/do whatever as I can’t make a decision today!’

So happy to read this post as I/we feel exactly the same about decision making now. We look and look then discuss then discuss again about many things, some plans go forward others are still being discussed. It's quite a discontented feeling as before we retired we just got on with everything no matter what the project was. Old age doesn't come itself - my mum always said.

Its a bit different here kitty as once we both conclude a room would benefit from a change I tend to be the ideas person and Mr C provides the muscle. My ideas usually evolve from a colour which often means we find some things blend in and others automatically deselect themselves I don’t think much has changed with retirement other than we often decide there are more interesting things to do .

We tend to have very little trouble making decision with regard to house and home. It’s the minutiae of life that causes the most stress. Whether to go on holiday; where to go on holiday; where to go for a day’s walking; whether to go to the cinema; where to have lunch out; what to put in the garden..... inertia tends to set in. I can’t remember us ever spending so much time procrastinating before we retired.

I am bossy so have no difficulty making decisions. My husband though will procrastinate for ever.

We retired 8 years ago. It took us that long to finally get round to refurbishing the living room and my word, did we go to town! What was a 70s time warp is now almost unrecognisable. Really enjoyed (most) of it as in the past we never had the cash or opportunity to do it.
Sold as much of the old stuff as we could and gave away the rest. Nothing got thrown away. Then we started with a completely blank canvas.

I like BradfordLass' idea. We sometimes give ourselves an artificial deadline, if a decision is critical. Otherwise we just wait until something emerges!

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure. I mull over things for ages and then move when I'm pushed.

I seem to spend a lot of time waiting for the right moment, in a state of suspended animation.

Am I worse now? Probably, because time is not an issue so nothing has to be rushed.

I firmly believe this type of ‘scatter’ thinking is often panic! All the things you want to get in before you are too old to do them! Get a large writing pad.....put a heading, for instance ‘holidays’...and allow yourselves 5 choices each of what you most want to do....then put in order of importance to you both. It’s a basic management technique for sorting things into order of importance. Use this method for everything....it works...I’ve used it for years.

Retiment is the time to decidde if you will or will not be down sizing. We are not down sizing until I am a widow. then I will move.

So we try to do the basic house stuff, roof, windows, insulated walletc. Then each room at a time making sure that it will more or less be OK for 20 years before requiring a makeover again.

Decision making in our family is like this, Husband thinks about something for ages without saying anything, then pounces on me with his thoughts, then we discuss, dont always agree at first,but we get there.

Oh my goodness! I’m so glad to read this thread today!
I thought it was just us two who were indecisive now that we have all the time in the world!
Beige cardigans, you describe the ‘waiting for the right moment’ very well.

Living on my own means I don't need agreement on anything. I do and spend exactly what I want when I want.
Men often (but not always) don't notice changes anyway.

I have lived in my house for 54 years, and have never liked the panel of pebble-dash between my front windows. It was always way down the list of 'things that needed doing,' though. Now that I am a bit better off I have been pondering for ages the pros and cons of doing something about it.

My neighbours have been having the front of their house re-faced in white, so I finally made the decision and asked the workmen's boss for a quote, just to do my oblong, measuring roughly 3 metres by 2. "Well," he said, "We would have to put up scaffolding, strip off the pebble-dash and whatever's underneath, re-board it, then apply the new surface and paint it. It would cost around £1,000 altogether."
"I'll think about it," I said, feeling slightly faint!
I didn't need long to decide that I, having lived with the pebble-dash for all these years, I could put up with it for the few more, until I 'pop my clogs!' I'd rather spend £1,000 on a nice holiday!

When little else to think about, the importance of the issue at hand takes on more importance than the issue would previously had.

Goodness that sounds just like us. We either drift on and never get there as with the kitchen or do things we immediately and then sometimes regret being so spontaneous.
Good idea to make lists. I will take up that idea.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Took us two years to decide on a kitchen. For a lounge would go for the most expensive item first, decide on that then chose other items around that.

We talked about knocking a wall down over Sunday lunch ,OH said we'll organise it for next weekend .By 11'30 the same night we had demolished it ourselves .Quite often we'll mention rewallpapering and its done before the next day .Last week my daughter said she's need to get her living room decorated,her Dad and I stripped it for her the next day and we had it done and dusted in 48 hours.We've always been like this ,its probably the reason we change furniture and decorate so often.If we sat and ruminated over it ,it wouldn't get done.Its a legacy of a very busy life when painting the bathroom or shampooing the carpets at midnight was the only choice .

We still find the decision making easy enough, but following through is a different matter. DH has turned into a procrastinator out of the blue, so unless I push nothing would ever get done!