Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

My mum and I had an extremely difficult relationship, but I know she loved me very much and I loved her. As she got into her 80's she actually became a much sweeter person and I'm so thankful I have those memories at the end. Even though the relationship was difficult, we had a very intuitive sense about each other, i.e. could just look at each other in a funny situation and start laughing without saying a word. My autistic brother lived with her until she died (she was 83, he was 63) and getting him rehomed etc., took all my energy so I don't think I ever grieved properly for her. He is gone now too, and my dad died in 1995 so sometimes I do feel very sad and wish I could just speak to them about something or other.

Yes, I miss my Mum so much. Her spirit was so strong and even when diagnosed with terminal cancer in her 80s she was able to lift her children and be ill with such good grace and humour.

I pasted on a smile as she was dying, knowing that the days she'd be in my life were coming to an end. I tried to be upbeat and positive right to the end, for her sake. When she died I broke down.

I miss her cheery presence and good humour so much. She was always singing as she worked. Certain songs bring her right back to me. It seems daft to be a pensioner now, with my own grown up children and to still miss my Mum but a happy part of me died when she did. I still feel her loss and miss our trips out, me walking at snail's pace, her arm tucked in mine.

My Mum passed away in 2002 five years after my Dad, I still miss her every day, she was the kindest most caring lady you could wish to meet.

Ladies I’ve read all your posts about your mothers with great interest and not a little sadness. I have some idea how you feel as I still miss my dear father who died over 20 years ago even though he and I didn’t always agree.
My mother however died when I was 6. She wasn’t spoken about much in my small family and I know little about her. I sometimes wonder if I’m like her at all. I hope it’s ok with you to say that I envy some of you as you have so many memories?

Minimoon wrote -
"I don't really miss my mum all that much in a physical sense. I miss not being able to ask her things family related. She was the one I went to when I wanted to know what was going on in the wider family, cousins and their children for example. She anchored everyone, and without her I'm rather adrift."
That's how I feel about my Mum, who died aged 87 in 2002.
It puts us, the next generation, into that same position.
A very happy day today as we had a visit from eldest son and his wife and 2 teenagers, who live abroad. It made me realise we need to take on the same role. Keep the young ones in touch with the family past.

Witchypoo sending you a big hug xx

I don't miss her on an everyday level. We had a fraught relationship but I think of her - and my father - often.

My mother loved tennis and rugby (I'm Welsh). She was a big fan of Australian Ken Rosewall and I remember her running down the street towards home after work in tears because Rosewall was losing. She got in just in time to see him win!

I can't watch the rugby without thinking of her, and how she would have reacted to Wales' rather unpredictable performances.

She was uncompromising too; when Stan Smith and Ilie Nastase played each other one Wimbledon final, I was packed off to Chapel as usual, even though I had a terrible crush on Nastase (who didn't). .

I can't remember if I got to see any of the game, but Mr Nasty lost (again).

I couldn't do much to impress my mother, but I think she was genuinely delighted when I gave birth to DD (although she swore blind she would NOT be helping with childcare....). DD was just 2 when my mother died.

aonk that very sad You’re right, those of us who were close to our mums were lucky to have them for as a long as did. I don’t think we’re ever really ready to say goodbye to our much loved mums, regardless of what great age they get to

I miss both my parents. My father died very suddenly in his very early 50s when I was 16. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression and depended for support on my father. The light went out for her when he died and she died a miserable and unhappy 10 years later. She and I had a difficult relationship in those 10 years, she worried incessantly about me and my relationships - even though I had had 3 years away at college and then had returned back home to a teaching post - so in some ways her death was a relief, it enabled me to spread my wings, grow up and become an adult at last. But my father would have been so proud of me, becoming a teacher and inheriting his DIY skills and passing my driving test first time etc. My mother would have eventually been proud of my home-making and gardening skills. Both parents would have been wonderful grandparents, I'm so sad that both died before I married and had children. I hope we meet up when I die. There's a lot to tell them.

I am preparing to say goodbye to my lovely mum and hoping that I can be as strong for her as some of you inspiring ladies.

My mum died ten years ago...and sometimes when I first wake up and am still little groggy, I think about ringing mum today for a chat...then realisation hits. I smile at myself though...but it doesn’t make me sad anymore .I do miss her advice , though I don’t think I ever took it, but she loved to give it anyway.

Used to phone my mum every day for a chat. If something had happened (i.e twin towers, or a famous person had died etc ) She would be the first person I'd ring.
She became I'll and I went to stay with her. I ended up caring for her for 3 months before she died.
She was my best friend and I really miss her. It's been over 5 years now but I'll often ,even if fleetly , think I'll give her a call.

Oh yes ?

I don't so much miss my Mum, who died 23 years ago, but I would have loved her to meet her great grandsons. She would have loved them.

My mum died 25 years ago from breast cancer, she was only 64 and very vibrant and active. I was 36 at the time with a young family, I still miss her and think of her every day and am heartbroken that my children, her grandchildren,that she loved so much, don t even remember her ?

nanny thinking of you.

I try not to be sad about my mother but try to remember the good times.

She was tough, but funny and self-deprecating. She was always taking the pee out of herself but was a whiz at Latin and Welsh and could translate everything. She loved poetry and described herself as being like Tim the Ostler - with hair "like mouldy hay". God knows what poem that was!

She retired at 55 when my dad suddenly died. She learned to drive and actually got to spend some money (my dad was tight as a duck's a..se).

Always a bit of a moaner, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was so, so tough and brave to the last.

I've never thought of her as a role model but I definitely get my tough, independent streak from her. DD has it too.

I'm glad that I was able to help her enjoy her later years; I took her to the Millennium Stadium when it opened; we went to Pavarotti in the Park together and I took her to Crufts as well on a few occasions.

I didn't quite shake off the not-quite-good-enough daughter tag though. I DID try, honest!

Yes I am lost! My mum died nearly 27 years ago aged 47, I was 28. She was my best friend and I miss her dearly every single day.

16 months on and I can’t even go here yet. I’ve not read the posts. It’s too raw.

Mum was 70y when we decided to have an annual week in Ibiza ion holiday together. Best thing we ever did, just the 2 of us till she was 85y.

Such laughter and shared memories.

Here we were 10 months before she died. We didn’t know this was our last one.

aonk
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DM??+ DD?‍♀️= ❤

Urmstongran

mine is still alive but was never much of a mother to me and I had to mother my sister

I think that your mum loves you more than anyone else will, ever, in your life. Your partner won't, your children won't, anyone you ever meet, won't.

(Sadly, I know that's not true for everyone.)

And when she's gone, you are left missing that all-encompassing, all-forgiving, love.

My mum died 30 years ago, and I still miss her. She was the one person I could go to with any problem at all, and she would listen, sit me down for a cup of tea, while I poured out my heart to her. (Wish I could feel her cuddles now ...)

Some years, I'm momentarily surprised that she hasn't sent me a birthday card!

Oldgimmer - The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes. My mother could recite the whole poem, shed learnt it by heart at school. Once on holiday she came second with it in a talent competition. I was 6 and thrilled to see her on stage reciting. My ‘There’s Mummy!’ Had my embarrassed father shushing me and cringing.
She died 35 years ago and I still miss talking with her.

Wow Elrel - thanks for that.

You've hit the nail on the head Lyndiloo - I could say absolutely anything to my Mum without fear. When my Mum died and I confided in her sister, my aunt, I quickly learnt that her love for me as a niece was nothing like the unconditional love my Mum had shown me.