Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

Awww jaylucy

My mum passed away in 2009 unexpectedly. I got home from work to see her being put into an ambulance after she had collapsed in the garden from a massive stroke and never regained consciousness.
I had my dad to deal with after her death - he was devastated and it all came back to me last year when one of my closest friends passed away.
I miss especially this time of the year. Warm evenings, we used to have dinner and then take a cup of tea and sit out in the garden and she'd fill me in with what was happening locally and with the rest of the family. We used to sit out so long that dad used to come and see if we were still there!

My mum died back in 1966 when I was 16. My dad had died a couple of years earlier. I was stoical at the time but I do miss her (and him) even now. As an only child it saddens me that they weren't around for the high points in my life. Only my cousins remember them now and they can fill me in on some of the gaps.

Hugs for all those who have lost their mums and are still grieving.

It’s 5 years for me too, I absolutely miss my mother every day and still go to pick up the phone to ring her, or thing of buying something she would like before I realise I can’t. I can’t ever imagine getting over losing her. It’s heart breaking x

My mum died seven years ago when I was 43 and she was 71 - far too young. I miss her every day and still feel her loss. My dad is still alive but he always has been an unusual character and I haven’t seen him for a number of years although he deigns to speak to me by phone about mundane things every couple of weeks. I don’t have a source of advice or wisdom, or a parent to chat with, or a grandparent who is interested in my children and their lives. It’s very sad - heartbreaking at times actually.

TyneAngel

So sorry to hear about your childhood.

Yes, I am so very grateful I had loving parents, as I know this is not the case for many of us.

My mum died when I was 21 , I am now 50 . I have never really got over me . When she died part of me died too .

Yes I miss my mum every day we were like sisters more than mother n daughter I will miss her forever. But I know she’s at peace free from her pains and I take comfort in that. I like to think both my mum and dad are together

I miss my mum she passed about 16 years ago, she was not only my mum but my friend too but I miss my dad dreadfully and think of him every single day. We we were so close and did everything together. He was the gentlest, kindest man who always seen the good in everyone. He certainly was very special.

My mum died at 59, I was 34 with two small children, within 6 months mil died too. My mum had had a really hard childhood and she struggled to show her love for my sister, brother and I and I. This made me determined to bring my children up with plenty of cuddles. My sister and I talk about her all the time and my children grew up with many tales of ‘nanny’.

It warms my heart and makes me happy to read of so many happy, loving childhoods, but please just try and be thankful that you had them. I am sure there are others like me who, even at 78, whose first waking thought is 'Phew, you're not a child any more. Get up, you're on a roll. Your mother can't hurt you or your father stand weakly by and let it happen,' Hugs to you, Kandinsky, and everyone else still grieving.

Remember Kadinsky your Mum is just a thought away.
Love X

I miss my mum. She died six years ago. I am a mum who wont be missed. My children have vietually wiped me from their lives so there will be no one to miss when i go

My beautiful mum died twenty six years ago. I adored her and she really was my best friend. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of her and wish she was still here. I just remember all the wonderful times we had together. ❤️

I only feel now that I am coming to terms with my Mum’s death. She died in May 2012, she was 72 and I was 44. I struggled massively for a long time. Were it not for my lovely husband I don’t think I would have coped. I miss talking to her so much. We are a really close family and all pulled together. My lovely Dad is getting a little frail now and I always hold on to the fact that we owe so much to both of them. I have always taken comfort from something the Queen said, oddly enough, she said “grief is the price we pay for love”. It is so true, it hurts so much because we love them so much. I hope you find it easier in time

I really miss both of my wonderful parents. Their passing has left a huge hole in my life. Pa died, aged 87 and I remember someone saying to me "Oh well, he was a good age"! I understand what was meant but his age meant nothing at the time he was my Beloved Pa. I was so cross. I talk to them every day in my head. Both so missed.

I find it very difficult to express what I feel about my Mum. I don't miss her and felt relief when she died and for that guilt creeps in. In many ways she was a good mother but was a worrier with mercurial temperament. Moods all over the place when we were children and she did slap out. She called them fourpenny ones. In her later life I was her comfort blanket and she monitored my movements and got distressed if I wasn't where she though I should be. Two of the best things I remember about her are her sense if humour and sociability. She flourished in social situations and loved being the centre of attention and could be great fun then.
I do miss my Dad. He was a quiet, gentle character who was a loving parent.
I hope my daughters can remember me in the ways so many of you lovingly recall their mothers. I love my girls dearly.



I do miss my Dad

My mum died Dec2015, she had dementia. After she died I just wanted to 'block' how she was then & remember her as she was before her illness. I have her photo on my bedside table & talk to her everyday. My parents both died within months of each other & I'd never experienced grief till then.
It took roughly three plus years to begin to even smile again, you will feel happy again, that's what they'd wish for, but you'll miss them forever ?

My mum is 100 and her 101 birthday is at the end of the month. She has heart failure and is not expected to live much longer. The stress to both my sister and I is exhausting. She lives at home and has careers coming in 3 times s day, but we have to fill in between times. We take care of her personal care like washing and preparing her meals etc. We promised that she will never go into care, and are pleased that we are managing but it is hard. Sister does mornings and I do afternoons. I have a permanent sore throat and my sister sleeps for hours. But we know it is only for a limited time, she has been my mum for 73 years, not an easy person but always gave support when needed. It’s what families do isn’t it?

I can hardly remember my mum. She died 47 years ago. I can't honestly say I miss her but I feel sad for the awful life she had, married to my horrible father. She always wanted a nice garden which she never had. I sometimes think she would love to come and enjoy our garden.

Sadly my mum has dementia and is in a care home. It has been a steady decline over years. She knows me when I visit, but our conversations/interactions are very limited now. She can't remember either of her husbands, or most of her family. Like Witzend, I feel that I "lost" my mum years ago. I'm approaching 70 but I still miss the person that my mum used to be, years ago.

I truly envy those of you who miss your Mums - I know it is painful for you, but at least you had many years of a good relationship to look back on.

My poor Mum was a struggle for all of us; and really I do not miss her. I felt I was walking on eggshells throughout my whole childhood, trying not to to say something that would spark a row between her and my Dad. And the same continued throughout my adulthood.

She meant well, but - looking back I can see this - she suffered badly with PMT and as a child it was like living with Jekyll and Hyde - she could be pleasant one minute then a demon the next. She had a massive chip on her shoulder about women being downtrodden and this coloured everything she said and did, most notable her relationship with Dad, whom she put down at every available opportunity.

I feel sad for her, as she missed so much joy; but I do not miss her. I grieved for her before she died as she was quite mad by then and I could see the writing was on the wall and it was distressing to see; but her actual passing left me with a feeling of immense relief.

Please enjoy your lovely memories.

My Mum was the first 'big' death in my life. I don't miss her as much as I should perhaps. I think happily of my childhood and teenage years with her and of the doting Granny she became to my children. She died 22 years ago. I miss my Dad more; he survived her by 4 years. The person I miss is my husband who died far too young, 7 years ago. I don't think you ever become accustomed to widowhood..

I miss my mum although she is still alive, she is in a home with dementia and doesn't know me. I think you always want your mum when you are ill!