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vaginal steam clean anyone?-lighthearted

(130 Posts)
petunia Tue 18-Jun-19 15:54:59

i read today that clelbs are flocking to have their vaginas steamcleaned
three things occured to me.

are staff in A+E geared up to treating internal third degree burns

how do you run the area in cold water on the burnt bits

and i wonder what the nozzle looks like

ps-dont think ill be doing this. i dont get mucky enough for a steam clean

Jaxie Wed 19-Jun-19 10:03:01

But if our lady gardens are self cleaning why are there all those jokes about them smelling like fish. Only asking.

00mam00 Wed 19-Jun-19 10:01:33

Squeaky clean?

Shelagh6 Wed 19-Jun-19 09:57:08

Paltrow is totally insane. Vacuum cleaning etc. Now I’ve heard everything. Good thing - poss get rid of all those celebs who I never recognise who have more money than sense to put themselves out of their misery! Good grief!

kittylester Wed 19-Jun-19 08:30:33

Please, please stop posting so that this thread drops off the active page! It is quite disturbing!

MamaCaz Wed 19-Jun-19 08:07:10

Well, if this is what 'the woman who has everything' decides to do next, I fear she might no longer have 'everything' after the treatment!

petunia Wed 19-Jun-19 07:59:48

just watched the youtube clip.
my oh my, what could possibly go wrong?

GabriellaG54 Wed 19-Jun-19 07:25:51

I'm expecting a busy weekend so 'Yes please'. Next Monday @9am and could I have a fragrance? ???

boheminan Wed 19-Jun-19 07:16:28

BBbevan. I won't ever be able to listen to Johnny Cash's 'Ring of Fire' in the same way again - ever!shock

merlotgran Tue 18-Jun-19 22:42:18

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frs2-0Hx2fg

I love her final comment: 'Have a wonderful night!' grin

Chewbacca Tue 18-Jun-19 22:31:02

Lol merlot! gringringrin

merlotgran Tue 18-Jun-19 22:29:39

I had a quick look on YouTube and found a clip of a woman setting up a kind of commode arrangement, complete with boiling scented water, which presumably she was going to sit on, in front of an electric socket in the wall. shock grin

Double whammy?

Chewbacca Tue 18-Jun-19 22:21:44

The good news is that our Gwynnie has just the very thing for your new steam cleaned vagina..... shove a stone egg up it!

‘^According to Goop's claims, inserting these egg-shaped stones into one's vagina for a period of^ time would help balance hormones, regulate menstrual cycles, prevent uterine prolapse, and increase bladder control.

Form an orderly queue please ladies.

EllanVannin Tue 18-Jun-19 22:13:19

Good grief ! Sounds like something from " Benidorm "---Blow and Go.
The woman isn't right in the head. I laughed though.

It adds a new meaning to steam-cleaning your rug.

Wobbles Tue 18-Jun-19 22:11:44

agnurse confused
That's awful in so many different ways

Chewbacca Tue 18-Jun-19 21:55:24

The first laugh I've had all day! grin

Paltrow is usually as mad as a box of frogs but she's taken it to another level this time.

Grannybags Tue 18-Jun-19 21:15:02

Just when you think nothing else will surprise you! grin

etheltbags1 Tue 18-Jun-19 20:55:42

I will just live with a dirty fanny if a daily shower is not enough. Yuk

agnurse Tue 18-Jun-19 20:44:46

Wobbles

Don't give anyone ideas. Reportedly there have been cases of women using a Hoover to try and end their periods early.

I didn't just learn this from a PP. I actually saw an article about this on Facebook the other day. According to the article, healthcare providers are becoming concerned because they have treated actual cases of this happening.

Harris27 Tue 18-Jun-19 20:38:25

So funny cheered me up!

Wobbles Tue 18-Jun-19 20:33:10

Doodle Lino would be easy to clean ?
I'll stick to my Dustbuster for clearing away the cobwebs grin

Glammy57 Tue 18-Jun-19 20:17:24

In a squeaky David Beckham voice: “ooh, er Victoria, I told you not to eat them lemons”!

Doodle Tue 18-Jun-19 19:47:03

Ooh yes a nice steam clean. I think I’ll go for having my old vaginal wallpaper removed and something more modern instead. Perhaps varnish or pale green emulsion.
Should I have my pelvic floor done at the same time, do you think? Wood laminate or tiles? Certainly not underfloor heating as it’s warm enough down there as it is. blush

Callistemon Tue 18-Jun-19 19:46:36

I hope mine never gets that dirty grin

sharon103 Tue 18-Jun-19 19:40:38

Thanks for the laughs ladies grin

BBbevan Tue 18-Jun-19 19:35:10

And what about the anus bleaching celebs go in for? . Stings I wouldn't wonder. Nothing a wire brush and Dettol couldn't cure. ?