Do you ever wonder why people’s lives are so different?

gillybob
It's probably just one of those things.
To have had 3 proposals and 3 marriages and your last husband accepting your 2 children, surely shows that you're an attractive worthwhile person.
Having things in common doesn't really count for much in the great scheme of things.

Erm well the first one wasn’t exactly a proposal it was more like my dad holding his arm so far up his back he daren’t say no! I was 18 and had just given birth . The “marriage” (such as it was) lasted a couple of months . Stupid really wasn’t it ? As the shame I brought by having a baby, was ten times worse by having a baby, being “persuaded” into getting married and then divorced in less than a year !

They do say ‘opposites attract’.

I think there’s something in that actually.

Oh gillybob isn’t it so good that nowadays (western values) there is no shame being a single mum?

Coercion was never a good concept for a long marriage was it?

‘What will the neighbours think’ etc..

Urmstongran

It’s strange to remember how different things were. My parents were bitterly ashamed of me when I had baby, without marrying her father. To be honest, I don’t think they ever forgave me

Oh Sara65 that’s so sad to hear.
Times change.
But very upsetting for those who had to bear the whispers and nudges at the time.

The young today wouldn’t believe it.

If was a long time ago Urmstongran, but Thankyou for your kind understanding

Thankfully things have changed for the better Urmstongran . To be fair my parents were very old fashioned considering I had my son in 1980 . It was a very lonely life .

Sara65 ?

At our age it seems only a blink away. My good friend from a staunch Catholic family had a boy ‘out of wedlock’ (even the language has changed SO much) in 1971. It was so shocking then.

She and I were 17y.

Seems like yesterday to me.

Likewise Gillybob

Thankfully young girls no longer have to deal with it

Such a rollercoaster of emotions for you too gillybob

But you’re right. Things ARE better now.

Oh gillybob such an emotional rollercoaster for you.

But you are right. Things ARE better nowadays.

Sorry! Don’t know how that happened.

Some people really don;t deserve what life throws at them
A friend of my sons had a friend who had a very bad motorcycle accident, lost his spleen, several broken bones, and on a life support mschine for a long time
While he was ib hospital his mum was having a baby a longed for baby daughter, while on the way home they had a car crash, the dad and baby were both killed, after that the mother went out of her mind, she used to sit and stre out of the window where the church her husband and baby were buried,and talk to them as if they were there in real life
The poor woman eventually got cancer and just gave up
All the small town i lived in could not believe that one family could have so much tragedy and in such a short time
My life hasnt been a bed of roses but i have 4 children, grown up now of course all four have health problems, but not to the extent they cant work or live a normal life, but i am so thankful none of them have ended up like a lot of their friends as drug addicts, or caused trouble for me
I can be proud of them at least
I don;t believe we all make our own luck either,some people can work hard all their lives and still be at the bottom of the pile
Some are very nice and good people, but i think what they were born into has a lasting effect on their lives

On the positive side if I hadn’t had my son I wouldn’t have those three gorgeous little people (who are driving me mad as they are carrying on and won’t go to bed ) .

Hmm, one of my brothers had the unenviable job of telling mum and his g/f's staunchly Catholic Scottish parents (she was an only child too) that she was pregnant.
All heck broke loose.
They were 17.
Church ceremony, bride in suit.
Back to work on the Monday for both of them.
Now, 59 years and 3 children later both are company directors with a comfortable lifestyle.
Some things do work out.

Gillybob

I bet you’re loving it!

Thanks, GabriellaG and Urmstongran. Actually, I probably have a whole chapter.... ?

It does appear that some families get dealt a raw deal while others walk on the sunny side of the street- But I also think that some families are well practiced at maintaining a facade- What people leave this world alive without suffering?

I was just reading an article today about people presenting "perfect lives" in real life as well as online, and the psychological impact it is having on society as a whole-

Life is full of entropy or would that be Brownian motion? We do particular things to set other particular things in motion to make our lives richer, brighter and more fulfilling – and why not. It is wise to take your life by the scruff and try to make it work well for you and for your family and the people you love. But we cannot accommodate in our plans the ice on the motorway, the blood vessel that just blocks, the stillborn baby, the bankrupt company, the aggressive mugger, the failed insurance company, never mind the drought, the secret police, the lack of vaccinations – it does depend on where you live.

Absent

You are right !

No matter how successful, how rich, how happy, you are there are things that you have no power over.

So is that fate I wonder? Is there nothing that could have prevented it? Or is it wrong time wrong place, and slightly different actions could have changed the outcome?

“Nothing captures the biological argument better than the famous New Age slogan: ‘Happiness begins within.’

Money, social status, plastic surgery, beautiful houses, powerful positions – none of these will bring you happiness.

Lasting happiness comes only from serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin.” – Yuval Noah Harari

I have never felt the "Why me?" sentiment. Life is basically unfair - so why not me?

Currently caring for very sick OH - never asked why this fell to our lot - I suppose as a SW on a trauma service I was used to calamities befalling perfectly decent people.

It is a struggle (and I have bad days of feeling down) , but we have a lovely home with lovely views and a loving family.

Somebody may have said this already and if so I apologise for stating the obvious
It’s not the “hand you are dealt”, but how you play your cards.

Well, it’s true Maw, but sadly some people are dealt such awful hands, that you wonder how they ever cope