Grandparenting + working full-time + distance + no partner

That was my first post on here. Just wondering why mine is on a purple background and every ones else on a white background? Just curious no bit thing

I’ve just bought a highchair on Facebook marketplace. Very good condition and price. I had no idea it existed till my daughter told me about it. You just state what you are looking for and radius from where you live.

does your work have another place that you could transfer nearer to your daughter? but hey whats 5 hours.? maybe when baby gets bigger she can visit you and you visit her?make the most of your time with your daughter .assure her you are there for her. congrats on the new life.....

Congratulations GranAnnie
Please don’t worry, you will be a fantastic grandma and a lovely mum. Think quality time over quantity. Your daughter will understand , and will appreciate all the more, the time you are able to spend together.
My two youngest grandchildren live abroad and whilst I was able to spend the first month with them, I did have to go back to work after that, and now see them twice a year , we FT weekly and have a lovely if long distance relationship.
Life is never perfect but it can still be very good

I've never lived near any of my grandchildren, and was still working in a high pressure job for the first 12 years of the first GC's life. I took annual leave to visit to help when each was born and always took annual leave to do child care for February and October half terms. My oldest gc is here with me now, with a friend, having a break from Uni. Agree with posters about having some gear at your house so visits are easy, also holidays together (accept you'll have to pay more than your share) are good for making bonds.

I see my grandchildren, two of them, one 12, one 3, everyday. They say they have an awesome grandmother. I have awesome grandchildren. I am so blessed. We get along great and enjoy being with them. I am the one constant in their lives that they can count on. They have no father and their mother is on disability. They know that I or their grandfather will be there for them and they are grateful for it. But, it has not been easy in the past. Prayer does it.

Congratulations granAnnie it sounds as though you have a terrific relationship with your DD and SIL so half the battle is won. Not always the case on GN very sadly.

You also seem to have organised to be there at the important time when your DD will need you most. To help out so she can bond with little one and know you are there close at hand.

As for the future, you can visit as often as you can, you keep in touch anyway, and when DGC is older you can offer to have him/her for holidays or visit there for holidays.

I'm sure it will all work out and you will love being a Gran. If you read some of the threads on here you will realise how very lucky you are.

Re the other GP's, no one will ever be as important to your DD as you. So will have a great bond with all of them even if you are not around the corner.

Love and best wishes for you all at this lovely and exciting time

nanafran to answer your query, it’s only a different colour to you to highlight your own posts. Readers see it without colour.

granAnnie I’m interested that you ask if others are in your situation in that your GC will be 5 hours travelling time away. This subject comes up so regularly I think you may actually be in the majority !

There are many of us who would love to live close to family and especially GC but that can't always be the case. You have a great relationship with your DD and there is no reason for that to change so don't worry. You will establish the same with DGC. Congratulations on your wonderful news.

Thank you Vicky

Congratulations! GranAnnie you sound as if you have a lovely, open and healthy relationship with your DD and SiL and are very sensitive to their needs. I hope you enjoy every minute with them and your new grandchild. We’ve just had our seven year old DGD to stay over - so what if she was up at 5.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep!!!!!

GrannyAnnie you have lots of sound advice there and hopefully it will be useful.

I would echo what everyone else said. My daughter recently had our first grandchild and whilst we don't llve far away (2 villages), my daughter's partner's parents lives about 2 streets away. My husband and I work full time while my daughter's partner's mum is retired. My daughter always said if she had children she would get her partner's mum to look after them when she went back to work (albeit part time).

I've been told that as the maternal gran I will have a closer relationship with our grandson (something to do with daughters steering the amount of contact rather than sons - not sure if this is always true). I do have a close relationship with my daughter and I know she will encourage us to see her son as much as possible but I'm trying not to tally up how many times other gran has had my grandson versus my time with him (he's only a month old and currently it's 3 to 1 to other gran).

My daughter has said its a shame I cant work part time so I could spend more time with my grandson but as a young (!) 55 yr old and this being my second marriage, I can't afford to give up work or reduce my hours. I there have to accept that I'll see him at weekends.

It is hard to keep feelings under wraps when it comes to your loved ones. We cannot dictate where they live and when you'll see them. But it is comforting to know that they choose who they want to be with.

You might see your grandchild as much as you'd like but you can be the 'fun' granny who leaves a bigger impression than the one whom the child sees all the time.

Good luck xx

I just wanted to say how much I enjoy this website and all the lovely people who give heartfelt and kind advice on it. I too have had some super advice and reassurance about an issue that was bothering me and all the comments received really helped ease my mind.
I think it is unusual these days to have a website or media page where so many positive caring people are willing to help others. Its refreshing and so helpful to be able to rely on honest views without criticisms or hurtful comments. Thank you all grandparents.

lindey. I second that! Love Gransnet

I became a granny for the first time 6 years ago. Granddaughter is adorable and I love her very much but how I wish my husband was still alive and could have the pleasure I have while watching her grow up!

You sound like a really lovely Mum Granannie, and I am sure you will be a wonderful Grandma too.
I think you will make the long distance relationship work. My Gcs other GPs live in a different country and they only see them two or three times a year but they have a really good relationship with the children, they Skype and phone them regularly and send letters and parcels the children are always excited to see them too. You will be the exciting fun Grandma. Best wishes

Exactly what I would recommend! Xx

Ooops! That didn’t work out how I planned....
I was commenting on MawBroonsBack..... I would recommend exactly what this lady has said.
Congratulations by the way,.... the best job ever being a Grandparent. Xx

You have all made me tear up, and feel less alone in my fears. Thank you, all of you xxx