Embarrassing gaffe

Barmeyoldbat I did exactly the same thing in Boots the Chemist when I saw someone that I knew slightly. The poor lady said " I only wish that I was expecting"

I asked my new neighbour many years ago when her baby was due. She just told me she wasn't pregnant. But honestly she had one of those pregnant looking stomachs.. I was horrified.

I fell over at the children's school fete , hurt my elbow and went to the local hospital for an X-ray to be told I had only strained it
3 days later I had a telephone call to ask if I would report to the fracture clinic to which I laughed and replied " stop sodding about" and put the phone down thinking it was my prankster brother. Yes I had indeed broken my elbow and the consultant rang as I needed to go in urgently ! Whoops ?

On holiday one year, my ten yr old son and I were both desperate for the loo. I ran in one door , he ran in the next one and then crashed into each other. Both doors were for the ladies. We could not stop laughing, it was so funny.

I went to the library but wanted more books than my ticket allowed.I knew I still had my late dad's card in my bag so I used that. The librarian looked at it and asked how is your dad I haven't seen him for ages.I had to tell her and got told off as card was now invalid.

I went to the library but wanted more books than I was allowed. I found my late dad's card still in my bag so used that.The librarian looked at it and asked how is your dad, haven't seen him for ages. I had to tell her and got told off.

When making a hospital visit I had to use the Ladies, was washing my hands when a Man walked in. I gave him an icy glare, to which he said "Don't look at me like that Madam you are in the Gents" OPPs!!! Exit one very red face.

When I was a callow schoolgirl, a schoolfriend and I used to often go into the same newsagent to browse the magazines. I saw a copy of a comic with the Incredible Hulk on the cover and being a silly pre-teen, nudged my friend, who was on the large side, and said "Look, there's you." I turned to find a perfectly strange woman staring at me. Never moved so fast in my life!

I was a few months into a supermarket Saturday job . I was being trained in all the departments. On this particular day I was working with a full-time member of staff a few years older than me.
A girl around my age (15 ish) came in looking a bit messy and scruffy, I made a comment about her - only to be told it was the co worker's sister !
Another story, same shop. Was on the till and a man rushed up to the till in an obvious hurry , I matched his haste but on my speed to hand him his change, a few coins were slipping from my fingers and I went to grab them, yep I brushed my hand against his nether regions ! ( I did not take up a career in retail )

My daughter's marriage broke up a few months ago and since then her (male) gay best friend has visited her home a lot. I'm sure the neighbours are muttering but who cares.

I had fat legs and no one made stockings my size so quite often the suspenders snapped with the strain.

My Mum had shown me how to hold stocking up with a sixpence.
Once when they pinged on my way to work, I ducked into another office block, leaped into the lift and pressed the button for the highest floor, thinking I'd have enough privacy to re-tighten my nylons.

I hauled up my skirt and was twisting the coin into my stocking-top when the lift doors opened - onto an open plan office full of men, all of whom turned to see who was emerging from the lift.
I heard their laughter all the way to the ground floor. Took me ages to get over it.

That experience, which would certainly make me laugh and make a cheeky crack now, reminds me always to be very patient with teenage angst, as it's all so devastatingly serious and distressing at their age.

I was talking to a friend of a friend and mentioned that I had been staying with my mother while my father was in hospital. He said he hoped my father was better now and I told him that no, he had died! The poor man was mortified but there was no way he could have known. I wished I hadn't been quite so blunt!

I live in a small village and everyone knows everyone else's business.

After my marriage ended, I began seeing a man (who is now my OH) who had been widowed for some years. One day I went into a large supermarket in the next town and I was served by a young woman who lived in my village. She asked me if I heard the gossip about xxxxx (my OH) and said that everyone was talking about him "seeing a younger woman and wondering who it was". The look on her face when I said "It's me!", was priceless!

It's the first, and probably the last, time that I've been notorious!

Grannyboots1

My mum did exactly the same thing some years ago - it was even a co-op that she came out of, too ?

If she was more tech savvy, I would even have suspected that she had made your post!

One evening, some years ago, I answered our phone phone. The caller asked to speak to DH. Although he was putting on a funny, squeaky voice, I knew straight away that it was a friend of ours who liked to have a joke.
Naturally, I laughingly told him that I'd caught him out, and said he should stop being silly.
It was only after a few minutes of 'oh yes you are', 'oh no I'm not'- type exchanges that the penny dropped - it genuinely wasn't our friend, and worse still, it was a potential customer, a female customer at that!
I think at that point I panicked, pretended they had a wrong number and rang off [embarrassed]

My dh dropped me outside the Co-Op, (in our brand new car). After shopping I got into the car, swung my legs over, turned to speak to him and there sat a total stranger. Oh boy was I embarrassed. He never said a word. Dh watched all this as our car was behind.

OOOH too many to go into here. One involved sending a text message to a co worker but I sent it to the boss..

I'd phoned a company to complain about a service and the advisor was worse than useless. I'd sarcastically said 'thanks SO much for your wonderful help' and hung up. In my rage I then threw my mobile across the bed I was near and started a foul mouthed rant to my friend about the company and did they only employ muppets? All of a sudden a voice said 'PARDON' - the call hadn't disconnected at all!!!

At least blasted auto correct

St leafy she hadn’t said he was horrible! Dishy is at least a compliment

I enjoy them too jaylucy as you say warped sense of humour.
A friend had to see a Consultant at a French hospital so her daughter went along to translate, in the consulting room my friend commented to her daughter on how dishy the consultant was. At the end of the appointment the Consultant spoke to them in English and had understood the 'dishy' comment.

I enjoy other people's gaffes - but then I have a warped sense of humour!
If it had been me, i'd have agreed with her and added a few more things to her ideas!
I did leave an answer phone message,returning a phone call. When the person rang back, they were quite rude and said that "some bloke " had left a message - I was recovering from laryngitis , so my voice was a bit hoarser than usual- I just said "yes I know someone left you a message, because it was me that did it" there was absolute silence on the other end for several seconds!

I helpfully told the recepionist who greeted us in our holiday hotel that she had ink on her face. 'Its a birthmark!', she said.

When my teenage son and his friend were on a bus, a teenage girl in front of them started having a long, loud conversation on her mobile - making sure that the boys could hear all about her exciting life. After a few minutes, while she was still talking on her mobile, it started ringing!! She was so embarrassed that she got off the bus.

Hilarious op

As a very young student nurse I was moaning about the staff nurse( who really was a spiteful bitch) to one of the make Physios. I asked him what he though of her and he said ‘she’s vile isn’t she I married her once but now happily divorced’ ooppps