Friend cries poor.

I give up Kitty you keep contradicting yourself. Had you reported this thread then before you posted your welcome?

Can I just say, if anyone who is now a reader only starts a first time thread, watch out if kittyl puts the welcome mat out for you. She's on to you!!!!

Talk about shooting the messenger - pathetic. Well maybe future new posters might be treated properly and not seen as a subject for nudge nudge wink wink. And maybe those of you who think coded warnings are fine and dandy and a bit of a giggle might try growing up a bit. FWIW we all deserve to be protected from trolls and HQ are clear about the best way to do that. It’s a pity some of you seem to think that only those who speak the code should be protected.

I am not entering into an argument with you maryeliza except to say that I have reported threads to hq who have ignored my messages - wrongly on occasions. Sorry to disappoint you.

I don't think there is anything 'coded' in welcoming someone who is new!

Some people do have weird minds.

Why so aggressive maryeliza?

The OPs first post has been well and truly derailed by you and for what?

That is coded kittyl.

If your instinct is so good your majesty, you could report to HQ rather than sending coded warnings and yes they are coded because plenty of people have said they didn’t understand. So if your wonderful instinct is oh so perfect but a lot of people don’t understand it, then you are not proctecting them are you from revealing too much are you -just your mates who are in the know. Why not just act like a grown up and ignore/ report rather than play games which do not on fact achieve your stated objective? A very disingenuous post kitty imo

For the avoidance of doubt, and to stop derailing this thread, I welcome new posters (if I have not seen them post before) as a welcome to GN (being polite!) and as a bit of a warning (not coded!) to other posters not to get caught out into giving too much away when an OP might not be genuine.

I have been on GN a long time but don't consider myself to be GN royalty (does anyone?). I do, however, think that I have an instinct for threads that are a bit iffy as would anyone who has been around a long time.

Its nothing more than that.

Kirstyfiona welcome as a newbie but you are not the only person confused and I have been around for over 7 years!

Err. Most of us have, in fact answered the OP.

And librarylady, I did say earlier that if the friend had purchased the expensive whisky for somebody else she would have said so in her own defence. I don't blame you for not reading through the several pages of nonsense now cluttering up what was presumably a serious thread.

OH GOD!!!! Haven't any of you got anything better to do than see mischief and mystery in Gransnet? I am seriously thinking of getting out of here because of all this stupid behaviour by people old enough to know better. If you can't just stick to the serious post from greeneye then get out of here and write a mystery novel.
I apologise greeneye on behalf of all the sensible grans who are concerned about your friend.

Sorry librarylady. Must be annoying. Daren't say too much though.

Maggie it was this thread and your response which confirmed it. I damn wlll hope I’ve spoilt the fun of thhe petty minded childish posters who can’t be grown up enough to report a suspected troll but indulge in playground games. Behaviour like this certainly separates the grown ups from the toddlers. Just lay off new posters and either ignore/report or respond genuinely. Is that too hard to do?

Sorry if I've spoilt your fun.

As if you didn't know what was going on, maryeliza54.

Neither have I willow10.

I’ve only been a GN member for a week or so but am now really confused about the answers on this post!!

Well how jolly spiffingly top hole nice of ‘established’ posters ( aka GN royalty) to take it upon themselves to welcome a new poster so that it’s pointed out to the unestablishe hoi polloi that the new poster might be a ‘mischief maker’ or a ‘troll’ in common parlance. We all tug our forelocks and thank you kindly for protecting us. Who knew we might be able to spot a troll ourselves and either ignore or report? As you were??

How do you know SHE purchased it, rather than it being a gift from someone else?

As for the rest of the nonsense - for pity's sake put up or shut up.

Why shouldn't you judge her behaviour as it looks like she's been lying to you to get freebies so she can spend the money on alcohol. Friends like that are worthless so cut her out of your life unless you have concerns about the child and think she needs monitoring but then only agree to see her at her house.

There are a lot of conspiracy theories flying around today. Why would anyone think that by saying "^hello and welcome^" to a poster that it's some sort of coded message? And why would anyone think that the openly available list of abbreviations at the top of every page is a code that's meant to exclude people?

Is it a slow news day today?

Sorry, I should have said that my last post was in reply to Pippa22.

Acronyms aren't there to exclude anyone. They make it easier to post about grandchildren, great-grandchildren, daughters in law, etc, without having to type the full title every single time. There's a list at the top of the page for anyone not familiar with them, and it doesn't take long to get used to them.

I too think you did the right thing. After all, if the bottle of whiskey was a present for someone I assume she would have said so, instead of accusing you of judging her. That smacks of a guilty conscience to me.

If she has a problem with drink that hasn't yet got out of hand, your remark might just pull her up. If she is an alcoholic, sadly she will only ask for help if she herself one day wants to stop drinking.

Don't lend her money again - you don't know what the money goes on, and does she pay you back? I don't think you mentioned that.

Next time she complains of poverty, offer to help her make out a household budget. Lots of younger people have absolutely no idea how to go about that,

I would still invite her and the child for the odd meal, for the child's sake.