Soops kitchen refuge for gentle ladies

Wow that kitchen. You could get 6 of ours in there - literally.

Lovely kitchen mamissimo
soop hope those antibiotics work well soon. That inflammation looks painful.
TOYA ?

Kitchen envy strikes again. You could get my entire house into it!

Well panache it’s a small world as they say. I have just watched the Escape to the country programme you mentioned. You said the barn conversion was about a mile from where you live. The couple featured in the programme currently live a couple of miles from where we live. Isn’t that funny. Lovely countryside where you live, the views were amazing.?

Mamissimo a friend of mine was actually on Escape to the Country and said it was awful.
Although she and her H were quite clear about what they wanted, none of the properties they were taken to were anything like what they wanted and the presenters kept trying to put words in their mouths!
I think you had a lucky escape.

Thank you for kind thoughts everyone.
If I told you of my last couple of days I doubt you would believe it UNLESS you have been following Luckygirl's thread about her H.
I am feeling helpless and hopeless.
My H has been given weeks.
I am being urged to find him somewhere to go.
The care home won't have him back, although he only needs palliative care, unbelievably they say he may improve.
He can't move and can't speak, he refused all good and drink.
I have waited 5 hours today for a SW to come and visit.
I was assured twice she would visit, she never turned up. I am beyond appalled and disgusted at the lack of professionalism.
McMillan nurses say he doesn't meet their criteria, for what I don't know, I don't know why the medics asked for them to be involved.
I am refusing for him to be discharged until I am happy with the arrangements.
I want him to go to sleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow.
I truly wish the same for myself tonight.
My D is here and is staying until something is sorted.
I am in despair tonight.
I will not betray him after 60 years just for other people's convenience.

Ann my heart goes out to you, you have done your best for your dear husband. If he is not in pain and totally unaware of his circumstances I understand why you just want him to go to sleep.

Please be kind to yourself ????

Ann words fail me, Iam so sad to hear what your going through. I wish I had some wise advice, all I can do is pray that ways will be found to give him the care he needs and deserves.

Oh ann, I’m so sorry for the lack of care and kindness for you both. The situation is horrific. Thank you for taking the time to update us. I also understand why you hope your husband stays quietly asleep, I had the same thoughts myself about my parents. Please, please be kind to yourself, wishing I could help in some way. Sending love to you all.

Ann I am so sorry you are in this position. It is appalling the care home wont have him back and criminal the SW did not turn up. You should not be having to fight the system and the hospital.
I sincerely hope you do wake up tomorrow with a will to go on. I hope your DD is some comfort.
You are in my thoughts.

Ann words fail me! You and he deserve better. Love and prayers . X

Ann you and Luckygirl are having a horrific time , this is so sad and the lack of help and kindness is beyond belief , I can only pray for you and tour dear Husband xxx

Ann so sorry to hear about the incredibly hard time you and your dear H are having. We are all here for you when you need us. Much love xx

Ann I have no words to express my feelings about the truly heartbreaking things you are going through. All I can do is send my love and prayers to you.

Ann that is more than a soul can bare. I salute you for standing firm and I want to go and get the idiots who are blind to the care crisis in this country and make them experience your pain.

Send a copy of your post to your MP and tell them what you need them to do....please?

Ann I am sorry to hear of your very sad situation and the heartbreak you are going through. Sending you my love and prayers ?

I am lying here in bed going over and over all that has happened today.
It has been awful but a conversation with one of the HCA's has been replaying in my my head, she had been so kind.
She was changing my H for the second time in an hour, he hates being wet and uncomfortable and she said, "all these men have back stories" of the four men in the bay, my H was a highly qualified professional, dealing with properties worth millions of pounds and a large staff.One was a teacher of art in a school, one an aeronautical engineer and the last a former rugby professional, all now with a form of dementia.
She had made it her mission to find out about them and treat them with all the respect they deserved.
I was humbled by her.

Ann you have come across some good today but these kind people are battling in a failing system. I could weep for you and your DH. I do hope you can get some sleep tonight. I am sending you love and best wishes [hugs]

It's disgraceful that your DH's care is at the mercy of Adult Services and that social worker ought to be disciplined - but it won't happen. The NHS should be responsible for him as his health care needs now supersede his social care needs. You cannot be held responsible for finding him a place. I'm disgusted that McMillan won't have anything to do with him. Does the nearest hospice (St Ann's?) take cases like his? Glad your DD is with you. This is a corner you should not have to fight. xxxxx

Dear Ann, I have no words other than what has been said already, but I am thinking of you and your husband tonight.

Quick update while I have a little peace and quiet. The phone has been going non-stop and lots of visitors have been coming and going. I came to bed fairly early but am so tired that I cannot seem to sleep but eventually I expect I will be so exhausted that I will probably just conk out! Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later.
Himself is doing really well and is being a model patient. He is waiting for a bed to be available on the rehab ward and for his wheelchair, which should have been waiting for him on admission, to be delivered. He is very frustrated as he must wait for people to take him to the physio sessions rather than just go in his wheelchair and he will also be able to tootle about in the hospital and grounds when it arrives.
DS arrived today and is bursting with energy which I will need to channel if I am not to be totally flattened! I have a little list!
DD has been such a blessing and gently kind and thoughtful. I wish she lived much nearer but am so glad to have the solid blocks of time she gives us.

I am so disturbed by all that is happening to you Anne and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It is exhausting but you need to stick to your guns and not agree to anything until it is absolutely right for your DH.

soop I do hope that you will start to feel much better when the antibots kick in. Hope you will be able to rest as much as you need.

I have read all the posts but too difficul to reply to all so will just send (((hugs))) and to all and assure you "TOYA" which I know is less than you deserve but the best I can do at present. We have both appreciated all your kind and supportive messages. xx

Lovely to hear from you synonymous. Your husband sounds to be progressing well although understandably frustrated about the missing wheelchair. You sound understandably shattered. Good news overall though. Having your daughter with you must have made such a difference. Hmm, it sounds as if your son is very keen to play his part so maybe a long list is needed? I hope you’re sound asleep by now, my head is full tonight so is a barrier to sleep, nuisance isn’t it? Wishing Himself, you and your family well.

TOYA

Hope everyone is feeling a little better this morning.

Quite distressed/angry at Ann's despicable treatment at the hands of those who should care (and are paid to do a much better job than they are doing) but glad a little sunshine came by way of a kindly soul. A lovely ray of hope in bleak despair.

Felt very close to Soop today as I began reading
'In the Land of Giants' by Max Adams, wherein the author, an archaeologist, walks the area and in a most engaging and interesting way, describes the history and landscape.

Will be thinking of everyone here as I finish my day and make for bed. ((hugs))

Just dropping in to say hello and I am thinking of you all.I have been trying to keep up but as well as looking after my husband as he recovers from his accident,my youngest daughter has been unwell so have been helping her.She has EDS and is fiercely independent,copes amazingly but has times where she very reluctantly has to ask for help which we are more than happy to give.I never cease to be amazed by her strength and am so proud of her and the wonderful mum she is to little B.Just wish I could take her pain from her.
Synonomous,I am so glad your husbands recovery is progressing well,I have been thinking of you.Hope his wheelchair arrives ASAP so he can have some independence.
Ann,I am so sorry for the way you and your husband are being treated and glad you have your daughters support.
Soop,I hope the antibiotics are doing their job.
Panache,I will look out for the episode of Escape to the Country.My husband has family in Pembrokeshire,he is originally from Carmarthenshire but we will enjoy watching the programme and looking for familiar places.
I really am TOYA.

ann, I am horrified to hear about the treatment of your husband and you must be so frustrated, sad and tired. I would echo Anno's thought of a place in a hospice - at least in the short term. Also, talk to PALS.

I so wish we could swoop in and help.

I hope you got some sleep.

Thank you for other updates.

TOYA!!