Not a virtuous hobby? Guilt?

N&G sounds like you have the perfect relationship and attitude. Hope that's what mine would have been like. Bravo!

I don't think you should feel guilty at all, some hobbies are more constructive or productive than others perhaps, but why worry? When I think of the ways I use (waste) my time I'm sure others would be horrified.
When I tell my sister that I've been on Grans/Mumsnet she says 'why don't you get a pen-friend?' - I don't want a penfriend, that's why! I like pottering. I never spend all day out in the garden - I just go out and do one little job and then sit down with a cup of tea - is this wrong? No, it's right for me and I shall continue, so there!

I only wish my other half was a gardener - he hates it as do I but I'm the one who goes out and does it when I can't stand the weeds or knee high grass any longer, He will sit and sleep or watch tv while I'm doing it without feeling the slightest guilt! If on the other hand he does start to do anything in the house or outside I feel guilty and have to go and help him. He does still work full time while I retired at Christmas but this has always been the case so I'm not expecting it to change when he retires next month.

Today I've cleaned out all the kitchen cupboards, done some washing, been to the shops and now cooking dinner but still feel guilty for sitting here 'doing nothing'!

I am the gardener here and love to spend a day pottering.. so do not feel guilty he is enjoying himself!

DH has just gone off to his hobby grumbling that he wished he was a fair -weather football fan then he would not be putting himself through the misery and ignominy of watching another defeat and paying a lot for the privilege do so! He is certainly not feeling guilty that I am left on my own whilst he has so much fun

Exactly Purple....men never feel bad about watching Midsomer Murders or nodding off for hours.
Neither should we, but it’s a lifetime of being busy all the time I suppose.
What a fab day today, weatherwise! ? Have been gardening then we sat out for ages with tea and biscuits, it was almost too hot at times!

My grandmother had 11 children in the days before washing machines and vacuum cleaners. Yet I am told she did the chores in the morning, prepared the evening meal and then the afternoon was hers, visiting friends, Mothers’Union etc. So like other posters, why do I feel guilty for not being productive all day? DH will sit in the middle of it all watching TV or faffing with his iPad with no qualms whatsoever.?

Jenpax, I do tend to read the papers online, so I am 'expanding my knowledge' too I suppose. Good way of thinking about it!

And yes, Anja, I do need a change of scenery and agree, I couldn't please myself all day long. Some things need to be done.

I am wondering if I can 'make' myself vaguely athletic. I'll never be a gym bunny though.

In between reading papers online I have cleaned two loos and sinks, stripped a bed and washed and dried the sheets, and loaded the dishwasher after breakfast. I have also taken
a pork fillet out of the freezer and been perusing pork recipes online.The cat is half sprawled over my laptop now and purr-snoring away, otherwise I'd have tackled the dust I can see on the windowsill.....she lied.

DH is just golfing. Poor punctuation made meaning unclear.

I would feel guilty if I just pottered about all day. I’m grabbing a couple of hours outside now while the sun is shining and DH is off golfing and reading and GNetting and FBooking but that’s it.

Enjoy your hobbies none are more virtuous than others!
I have a friend who loves tiding (relaxing??‍♀️) whereas I love to lie in the sunshine on the grass with a good book and an ice cold drink. she gets a tidy house, and I expand my knowledge! both just as valid!

Day6 I was thinking exactly this earlier today.My husband loves gardening and was out there again all morning.After a productive day yesterday,all housework and laundry is up to date so have been sitting in the conservatory reading giving DH a wave when he comes into view and yes I did feel guilty!Glad it’s not just me!

My son loves tinkering with car engines and (when he lived at home) he used to come in looking grubby. He'd been under the car, and over the bonnet for ages and had "fixed" things, so elicited sympathy and offers of drinks when he came in. No one expected anything more from him for the day. However, he'd been in his element, having fun.

When I have fun (writing, reading, sewing) I am being self indulgent it seems.

My brother goes running everyday and my SIL says the same thing - it's like his hobby, his self-indulgence, is somehow more worthy than her knitting and playing Solitaire on her tablet, or doing a crossword.

I think some women have an in-built guilt complex. I know I do. I think I am going to have to brazen it out when I next sit down for 'fun'.

I was brought up in a rather academic household where reading was practically sacred. I would have felt guilty if I didn’t read!

Housework got done, but it was definitely of secondary importance. Some scorn was reserved for an aunt who was so houseproud that my mother would say “I’m sure she polishes the soap”.

Oldwoman70, Margaret Forster's book 'Have the Men had Enough?' summed it up! I so enjoyed that book, in fact I think I'll read it again.
It's how it was though. My MiL was as bad as my mother for dithering around 'the menfolk', MiL gave me a terrible 'roasting' once when I asked DH if he could make me a cup of tea while I was feeding the baby. '... that man of yours has been oot workin' 'a day!!' Bless her... ?

I'm the gardener here as well, Nannytopsy and I'm also the one who tidies the kitchen, does all the washing, ironing, shopping, cleaning and driving so I shouldn't feel the need to 'look busy' when DH walks in.

Maybe I'm channelling my inner martyr?

It's definitely not a throwback to my mother who somehow managed to get through life without doing anything at all.

Oh dear, I have never felt guilty for sitting doing nothing! I remember years ago my mother was staying with us for a few days when my DH came in after helping a friend with some work, Mum immediately jumped to her feet to "put the kettle on for him". I didn't move just shouted out that if he was making tea Mum and I would have a cup and there were biscuits in the cupboard!

When DH retired he took over the housework and cooking, it took me a long time not to feel guilty.
I can now remove myself to another part of the house or even fall asleep while he is busy.

Same here Marelli I usually feel comfortable sitting down to read or play games on my tablet after 3pm. It's ridiculous isn't it to still have these hang ups at 70+

I don't feel I can pick up my knitting, or my book, until the afternoon. That must come from my mother, who, from when I was tiny, did her housework in the morning, then had what she called her '5 minutes'. I would be told to be quiet and listen to 'Listen with Mother' (who wasn't listening, but having a wee nap)!
From early afternoon I knit and read to my heart's content while DH faffs about in the garden, being much more productive than I have been during the morning, housework not being my strong point. ?

My husband says he is Head Gardner and Maintenance Engineer if I have a moan at him. So this means I'm Head of Catering and Domestic Duties, whoops I nearly forgot I'm the Finance Manager too. It works for us after 45 years together!

I am the gardener here and I feel guilty for enjoying myself in the garden while DH tidies the kitchen, etc. ( But I do all the washing and ironing, shopping and cleaning!)

I fully agree I shouldn't feel guilty but it's a weird one, isn't it? All the things I really enjoy doing are fairly sedentary, like reading, listening to music, doing puzzles, jigsaws and sewing.There are a million and one sorting out, throwing away, organising, making space jobs I need to do after our move a few years ago, but I never seem to get fully going on those!

I feel I am not prioritising but tell myself I worked like a Trojan for over 40 years so jobs around the house will get done when I feel like them. OH does his fair share of the boring household chores but when the weather is decent he is outside all day.

His hobby/passion is much healthier than mine. That makes me feel guilty too!

My husband works fulltime, long hours. But even when home is perpetually busy. He always has to be doing something: I'm a stay at home grandma/mother and spend all day rushing people to appointments, cleaning, cooking in advance, running errands for others etc. Still feel guilty on the weekend when all I want to do is read the news online, dip into GN etc. I'm training myself not to leap up every time husband trudges by with another wheelbarrow! Even my doctor says I must relax when I have the time, but still get the guilts when husband is so industrious!

I had a reasonably busy morning. I did some washing, and cleaned the inside a of all the downstairs windows. The sun was shining through them and showing up all the splashes and finger marks. I cleaned the outside of the patio doors as a bird had pooped down one side!
This afternoon/evening I've finished off a crocheted blanket, pootled about on my tablet and watched some tv.
DH went to work this afternoon/evening, so he couldn't see what I was up to.
I don't have a guilty conscience, neither should you.

Don't feel guilty ladies:
I remember when I first retired I did so much to start with being a volunteer 2 days a week, joining all the groups I liked until it dawned on me I was doing as much in retirement as I had done in my working life and was warn out doing it.
My son said, mum learn how to relax you've earned it.

I now just do the things that really interest me and don't feel guilty if I have time for myself and I most definitely don't let my husband dictate how I spend my days.
What's it matter if you spend all day reading that book which you really can't put down.
Spend a good hour on the phone talking to an old friend.
Sit back with a cup of tea and watch a favourite programme on the telly in the afternoon.
The housework ect can wait and it doesn't matter how much or little others do in their life this is your life so enjoy it.