Not a virtuous hobby? Guilt?

I have spent most of the day speed reading a book that I promised to return ages . I didn't want to not read it , but it wasn't exactly a sparkling read . A bit of weeding and dead heading happened in between , but I do feel I wasted a day

DH walked to the shops, made some soup then did some gardening. I changed a bed, put some washing out, then spent a few hours lying on the bed reading! Yes I do feel guilty and I'm constantly apologising to him. He just laughs and says 'relax, we're retired.' Some days I do more than him. Swings and roundabouts. Some days I feel a bit slobby but hey ho.

Yes as KatyK said its swings and roundabouts. It seems though that women are programmed to feel guilty if they are having leisure time. I feel like this at times and its no fault of my husband who encourages me to relax more.

Reading is every bit as valid an occupation as gardening. No need to apologise for reading!

I don't know why I do it but whenever DH walks across the yard from his workshop I leap to my feet and make it look like I've been beavering away at the housework.

Daft really because I work my socks off so whenever I sit down I jolly well deserve it .

Perhaps your OH was grumpy because he overdid things! As long as you are happy and content what does it matter who does what?

merlot I do the same! why do we do it? considering I cook our meals, do the washing/ironing and clean the toilet, I've nothing to feel guilty for but I make a grab for the pledge/fairy liquid whenever he comes in from the gardening.
In my defence, I had a very house-proud mother who would tut tut if she came into a room and found me reading 'Bunty' and not helping her with the chores, so it must be a built-in reflex

Not a guilty bone in my body ?

Grampy has walked the dog and spent time in the garden . I did some reading, some crafting and had a snooze!

I work on the principle as a grown man he can choose what to do with his time and likewise I get to choose what to do with mine. Works for us .

Mum could only justify sitting down to watch tv if she was also knitting.
I've struggled to overcome the guilty conscience and am happy to say I think I've managed. Largely because, post-divorce, I am answerable to no-one but myself!

You have no reason to feel guilty Day6

As you said yourself ..... He loves gardening and is never happier than when he is pottering. It's his hobby

Infact you should congratulate yourself in letting him enjoy his hobby in peace.

Gosh I never feel guilty on my iPad or reading! My husband enjoys being ‘busy’. I don’t. Oh dear.

As we’ve been married 45 years now maybe it’s true that opposites attract?

mcem Mum could only justify sitting down to watch tv if she was also knitting
Me too

Day6 I feel guilty spending all day working in the garden when I know MrA would prefer me to go on a bike ride with him. At least your DH’s efforts are appreciated!

Don't feel guilty ladies:
I remember when I first retired I did so much to start with being a volunteer 2 days a week, joining all the groups I liked until it dawned on me I was doing as much in retirement as I had done in my working life and was warn out doing it.
My son said, mum learn how to relax you've earned it.

I now just do the things that really interest me and don't feel guilty if I have time for myself and I most definitely don't let my husband dictate how I spend my days.
What's it matter if you spend all day reading that book which you really can't put down.
Spend a good hour on the phone talking to an old friend.
Sit back with a cup of tea and watch a favourite programme on the telly in the afternoon.
The housework ect can wait and it doesn't matter how much or little others do in their life this is your life so enjoy it.

I had a reasonably busy morning. I did some washing, and cleaned the inside a of all the downstairs windows. The sun was shining through them and showing up all the splashes and finger marks. I cleaned the outside of the patio doors as a bird had pooped down one side!
This afternoon/evening I've finished off a crocheted blanket, pootled about on my tablet and watched some tv.
DH went to work this afternoon/evening, so he couldn't see what I was up to.
I don't have a guilty conscience, neither should you.

My husband works fulltime, long hours. But even when home is perpetually busy. He always has to be doing something: I'm a stay at home grandma/mother and spend all day rushing people to appointments, cleaning, cooking in advance, running errands for others etc. Still feel guilty on the weekend when all I want to do is read the news online, dip into GN etc. I'm training myself not to leap up every time husband trudges by with another wheelbarrow! Even my doctor says I must relax when I have the time, but still get the guilts when husband is so industrious!

I fully agree I shouldn't feel guilty but it's a weird one, isn't it? All the things I really enjoy doing are fairly sedentary, like reading, listening to music, doing puzzles, jigsaws and sewing.There are a million and one sorting out, throwing away, organising, making space jobs I need to do after our move a few years ago, but I never seem to get fully going on those!

I feel I am not prioritising but tell myself I worked like a Trojan for over 40 years so jobs around the house will get done when I feel like them. OH does his fair share of the boring household chores but when the weather is decent he is outside all day.

His hobby/passion is much healthier than mine. That makes me feel guilty too!

I am the gardener here and I feel guilty for enjoying myself in the garden while DH tidies the kitchen, etc. ( But I do all the washing and ironing, shopping and cleaning!)

My husband says he is Head Gardner and Maintenance Engineer if I have a moan at him. So this means I'm Head of Catering and Domestic Duties, whoops I nearly forgot I'm the Finance Manager too. It works for us after 45 years together!

I don't feel I can pick up my knitting, or my book, until the afternoon. That must come from my mother, who, from when I was tiny, did her housework in the morning, then had what she called her '5 minutes'. I would be told to be quiet and listen to 'Listen with Mother' (who wasn't listening, but having a wee nap)!
From early afternoon I knit and read to my heart's content while DH faffs about in the garden, being much more productive than I have been during the morning, housework not being my strong point. ?

Same here Marelli I usually feel comfortable sitting down to read or play games on my tablet after 3pm. It's ridiculous isn't it to still have these hang ups at 70+

When DH retired he took over the housework and cooking, it took me a long time not to feel guilty.
I can now remove myself to another part of the house or even fall asleep while he is busy.

Oh dear, I have never felt guilty for sitting doing nothing! I remember years ago my mother was staying with us for a few days when my DH came in after helping a friend with some work, Mum immediately jumped to her feet to "put the kettle on for him". I didn't move just shouted out that if he was making tea Mum and I would have a cup and there were biscuits in the cupboard!

I'm the gardener here as well, Nannytopsy and I'm also the one who tidies the kitchen, does all the washing, ironing, shopping, cleaning and driving so I shouldn't feel the need to 'look busy' when DH walks in.

Maybe I'm channelling my inner martyr?

It's definitely not a throwback to my mother who somehow managed to get through life without doing anything at all.

Oldwoman70, Margaret Forster's book 'Have the Men had Enough?' summed it up! I so enjoyed that book, in fact I think I'll read it again.
It's how it was though. My MiL was as bad as my mother for dithering around 'the menfolk', MiL gave me a terrible 'roasting' once when I asked DH if he could make me a cup of tea while I was feeding the baby. '... that man of yours has been oot workin' 'a day!!' Bless her... ?