Everyone gone.

I hear so often that someone has destroyed all photos and paperwork that belonged to a newly deceased family member, whether it be their spouse, parents or other close relative. Why? My father-in-law burnt all of his wifes clothes, no idea why. The last tie in my family, my sister, has just died, I know her vile husband won't let me have the photos she had saved for me, so sad.

Ì'm into family history in a big way and found a great website where you can write youŕ own book and they print it. Can put in text photos and scanned documents. My family think I am nuts but future family might be interested and it keeps those people alive. It's also good fun.

I have no siblings and have lost both my parents,myDH and my younger daughter.I have no realatives at all who were around in my childhood . My only blood relatives are my elder daughter,whose children are adopted.and my two granddaughters who lost their Mum when they were only 4 and 2. I have always wished I could be part of a larger family ,but it hits me even more now that there is no-one around,apart from some relatives of my late DH ,who are still in touch ,but did not know me before I married into their family.

Seems we are in the same boat eazybee & Bradfordlass my last relative died in 1984.
I have to say though reading some posts on GN its not all beer and skittles having a large family. It would be nice to have someone to share memories with but other than that it doesn't worry me unduly to be without family.

My brother is 11 years older than me and we are total opposites.
He as always been a very selfish individual and led my SIL and his children a terrible life needing to control and having his own way in everything.
My dear mother died many years ago, our father left her when she was pregnant with me and we lived in poverty all my early years. She had a very hard life working full time and bringing us up on little money.
As a child you have no idea that your life is any different to how others live.
My brother left home to join the army when I was six and I spend many hours on my own before school and after.
It makes me very sad even now many years later at the things my mother did for me at a loss to herself which I didn't appreciate this at the time.
We were very close and mum spent lots of time with me my husband and children but I can't ever remember my brother doing any kindness for her.
When she was very ill and dying he didn't even ring or come up to visit her and she thought the world of him.

My mother was the youngest of nine, giving me all these aunts, uncles and many cousins.They all lived within a few street's of each other when I was a child, and we had lots of individual visits and also large family gatherings. Even when I grew up I visited them. Sadly, all the aunts and uncles, and a number of the cousins are gone. Those of us left still get together, but I miss the 'departed'. DD2 lives on the street where I was born, at the home of my grandparents, the place of so many get togethers, and I find myself yearning for those days as I go by. It's bittersweet.

I am one of 4 siblings, and am amazed sometimes by our different memories of things in the past. Or the small things that one remembers, but the others have completely forgotten!
Being the children of immigrants from UK and France, we had no relatives here in Canada, so some of the stories of our parents will be forgotten if not passed along.
It was lovely for me to visit Jersey a few years ago, and visit a cousin of my mother who filled in the blanks with memories of her own.
And of course some our children are not really interested about stories from our parents youth. One day they might be, but then we won't be here to tell them (or remember them ourselves!)
My husband is bringing out old photo albums when he visits his mother, and jotting down names of relatives, and the time or event of the photos.

I've been the lone member of my family (other than my 2 sons) for many years.
When Mum died in 1992, I did, for a short time, feel a bit lost but only because I knew my boys would be alone if anything happened to me.

Other than that, I don't miss family, perhaps because we were never that close to begin with.

I used to long for a large, loving family like those of friends but now I see I've been spared the grief too.

Or 'with whom I met'?

I have to say, it was predominantly women with no close family who I met whilst working in care homes.

A lot of them had cared for parents, and life had drifted by... and well, we know the rest.

I have no family other than my two children, who do live nearby.
An ex-husband, no grandchildren or in-laws, never siblings or cousins, and parents, uncle and aunt and grandparents long dead.
I don't live where I grew up, so no shared memories of people and places.
Just a few school-friends from far away and long ago.
Oh dear!

gmelon my Sister also died 2 yrs ago of lung cancer, and both my parents and all aunts and uncles have now gone I also have no-one to talk to about my childhood, I sometimes think of something and usually my sister would know exactly what I was talking about but there is no-one to ask now.

A lady I know, in her 50s is the only child of only children. Her parents both died quite young . She isn't married and has no children, and doesn't have a single blood relation in the world, as far as she knows.
I would find that very strange, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all.

Most of our holidays were on slides and I've had them put on disks but I gather that is old hat and out of date . I've had old family photos of the 1800s copied onto disk and memory stick for family as they are fading from sepia to nothing. It's what to do with holiday albums. I used to make a big deal of putting photos in albums with bills and letters- this was for more exotic holidays or us those days China 20 years ago etc. My ex sil took all the stuff from my parents house ( she was still married to my brother then) but she still had our family photos and doled out a few to me . I hated that she had read my parents letters and especially one that my mum had written but not sent to a fiancé who had jilted her.
@Gillybob "borrow"a few at a time,copy them and replace. I hate control freakery- being one myself I have to work on it.

I'm all alone too and often think there is no one to remember my childhood apart from me. As an only child of parents who were the youngest in their respective families all my cousins were/are older than me and don't live nearby. It's sad when I think about it - my husband is the middle one of 3 and sometimes reminisces about family things with his siblings. As we both knew our respective families from 15 however we do share some memories.

Gillybob would your dad object to you taking photos of the photos or even laying them out on the table and videoing them. You can then share them with your family over the TV if you can connect it.

It’s tough as we get older, I am very aware there is only my brother and I (he’s 10years older) - now we are orphans he is the only person who has known me all my life. The bonus is I have think it has made us emotionally closer.

This has occurred to me too. My parents are dead, my elder brother died. My only other blood relative, my other brother who is older than me, doesn’t speak to me. I have no idea why, jealousy I think. At my elder brothers funeral, He sat separate from the family but I hugged him (never the other way round) and said there’s only us left now, let’s keep in touch (he lives 300 miles away but I am told comes to our home town at least every month) and he agreed, but nothing. I religiously send birthday and Christmas cards but nothing in return. How sad! When he dies, that’s it. He probably thinks its a challenge and I’ll die first as he thinks he’s immortal. Hah!

I do find it a bit odd when adults refer to themselves as orphans. I see this term as one used for a child without parents. Just the picture in my mind of little Orphan Annie.

Yes, immensely, hugely sad. My mum died when I was 14 and my sister died aged 48. I have been 'alone' for years and hate it.....!!! I am so very envious of people who have 'family'....

Hi gmelon
I am the last in my family, my sister died last year in the summer, and has just had, what would have been, her birthday.
Our parents died when we were young so it's been just us for a long while.
It's hard, and I never thought I would be in this position, or at least so soon in my life, so I sympathize completely

I know exactly what you mean. I was the only child of two only children. When my DM died in 2007 I was left as the only member of my birth family although I have 3 DD of my own. None of my DD remembered my GP as all had died before they were born the only person who recalled my childhood was a family friend and he died a few years ago. It does make you feel very lonely when there is no one left who remembers but I try not to dwell on it and just live for now. The only thing I do think is that I probably talk more about my childhood now than I did when my own 3 children were growing up, maybe that is because it feels more important to refer to it.

My darling Mum died 4 years ago followed by my younger brother 19 months later. I did feel very much an orphan then. To make it worst in the next few months I lost my closest cousin and my best friend from schooldays. Suddenly , apart from two distant cousins, my eldest daughter is the person who has known me the longest. My first husband died some years ago and my present DH has only known me 23 years.
When we were moving abroad I sorted through all my photos only keeping personal ones but anything with my children in I gave to my eldest daughter to sort out. She and her siblings had a lovely afternoon sorting through and taking their photos. They agreed that the albums would be kept complete and stay with my daughter. Better thay have them than maybe get discarded when I die.

gmelon - start writing all these memories up on a computer, maybe for your family, but mainly for yourself.

Go to look at them in his home and take pictures of them on your phone, not the best but you should be able to get a decent copy.

I feel for you gmelon ?
I lost my mother when I was 29 and my father at 40. They were older parents. Both DH and I are only children. DH's parents passed away last month, he is now an orphan at 67.
Only DH has memories of my parents, not my children which saddens me so much.
I had a happy childhood but no one to share the memories with.
However my children have happy memories of one set of grandparents and a great Gran,and I'm grateful for that.