It's all in the pronounciation

My 4 yr old granddaughter is excited that she has been asked to be a flower girl but told us that her brother is unsure whether he wants to be 'the book person'. After a few seconds, it dawned on us that she meant 'the pageboy'!

As a young Sunday school attendant, reading the Lord's Prayer, I'd always say " Lead us not into " thames station " until I was reminded of what the passage was and also its meaning. I was probably 4/5 and proud to receive a Carey Bonner hymn/prayer book for my efforts.

When I was little I was hiding under the table while my mother and her friend were discussing why it was difficult for the friend to have a baby because she had an inadequate passage. I thought she had a haddock in her passage...

When my son was 5 we had a family trip to London and we told my son that we were going on the Cutty Sark. During the tour around this beautifully preserved ship he was particularly well behaved and we were pleased seemed to enjoy it. However as we left the ship he threw himself on the deck and burst into tears. It took a little while to find out what had upset him so much......Mummy you told me we were GOING on the Cutty Sark...poor lad he felt cheated!

When my friends' GD was small, she couldn't say Granddad - he was long known as Gonad !!

When we used to say the Lord's Prayer at Infant School I thought we were going on a trip to Temptation and we were praying we got back okay.

When I was about seven I spent a very short time at a convent. Not being a catholic and unfamiliar with the Hail Mary, I was convinced she was full of grapes. Well, why not when we were blessing the fruit of her womb?

Our dgd was about 4 when she was given a little canvas bag from Sunday School, it had a picture of a baby on the side and the words Baby Jesus. This bag hung for a long time on a coat hook at the bottom of our stairs.

Many months later dh and I were going for a short break to an apartment at a not too distant seaside town and were taking dgd with us. We prepared a box of food to take with us, milk, bread, eggs, etc etc I reminded dh not to forget the Babybel cheeses. These were a staple for dgd. I called to dh.... Don't forget the baby cheeses.

Getting into the car there it was on top of the food box, the canvas bag with Baby Jesus on the side.
It was so funny at the time, almost a pee yourself moment.

OK.... not a comment by dgc but thought it was worth a mention.

When my son was 3 or 4 my DH went on a business trip to New York. He told his teacher 'Daddy has gone on an aeroplane in 'New Shorts'! I had a vision of my, usually soberly dressed, DH boarding in a lairy pair of Bermudas, grinning Rik Mayall style!

Same here Coolgran. I thought DC's school was very sophisticated when they were learning about 'cheeses' when they were only 4! 'Did you find out how cheeses were made?' I asked. 'No Mummy', came the indignant reply 'we learnt about Baby Cheeses in the stable.'

This has reminded me of the ‘bibon’. When the children were toddlers we used the plastic bibs with the upturned bit to collect the dropped food. We always used to say “put your bib on” or “let me put your bib on”.

Still on the religous theme, a five year old was heard singing A-weighing a major... And another asking the good Lord to 'deliver us from Eve Hill'. That's locality in the town where we live.

Love these.

Kale: following on from the Sandra Dee lyrics, lousy with virginity, my daughter used to sing , won’t go to bed till she’s leagally fed....

My eldest daughter, now 36, used to often spot the peasant bird in our garden. I still call pheasants this! She also knew of an undergarment called a corbit which her great grandma wore ( the corset) and loved the story of Snow White 'Mirror,mirror on the wall, who is the fairiest of us all'.

When my brother was six years old, he was to be in the choir at the harvest festival.
He insisted I listened to him practice, as he earnestly sang: “Here we come with Joycie, bringing in the sheets”

I remember visiting an aunt when I was about 9 years old,and she asked me to pop to the corner shop for some chipolatas, I didn't really know what she meant,and came back with chips and tomatoes,cut caused a bit of a giggle

My little sister was among the many five year olds who triumphantly sang; "Jesus bits of shine with a pure clear light"

I remembered hearing her that the hymn hadn't made any sense to me either three years earlier, when I was in what we called the baby class then.

When singing the hymn with the words ‘with grace will persevere ‘ I piped up very loudly so I’m told Sho is Percy Vere Mum!

A very early memory was the early evening weather forecast on the Home Service, where I wa introduced to phrases such as 'icelated showers' (why did they happen even in summer, and why had I never seen those little glittering ice crystals ... ?) and the 'arklook for tomorrow' (what Noah would see when he looked out of the Ark'). Im the six o'clock news I would then hear about 'revels' in Morocco, presumably a local independence movement of some kind, but in my mind, a group of people dancing round a bonfire on an autumn evening, silhouetted against a warm orange glow. I imagine now that the rebels must have been reported as starting a blaze, but that's just post-rationalisation!

Aged two my eldest daughter told our elderly neighbour the we were going to Australia to live in a 'bunghole' - bungalow she meant. Poor man was finding it hard to keep a straight face.

My brother sang, "Once in royal david sooty stole a candle shed"

my daughter wanted a pram and doll fr her 4th christmas ,to avoid her knowing what she was getting we spelled it so anytime we were asked we said a R E D P R A M .On Christmas morning when Granny and Papa arrived they asked what Santa had left ...oh I got a dolly and pram she said but I never got my P R A M.
My son mixed letters up all the time ,he called Instructions ..constructions,magazines were mazagines and macaroni was mastertony we still call Lemonade imilade

My eldest son was "infested" into cubs. I had to do a lot of explaining to concerned relatives.

My daughter always sang 'Ruby don't take your gloves to town' we never told her what it should be.

Ah the snow white anecdote reminds me of a little one acting the part of wicked step mother 'Mirror, Mirror on the wall...who is the fairy? Stuff em all'.