fifty shades of dust and clutter

Our house is tidy on the days we dont have grandchildren visiting or staying.

Like M0nica I find it difficult to function in mess or clutter.

However the garage is cluttered and is where over spill of non essentials,
grandchildrens outdoor toys and things DH keeps just in case.
Going in causes me anxiety and I long for a skip!

As we have no study I have had to get used to the dining room table becoming DH desk.
Even after 2 years I have to bite my tongue.

BlueSapphire your friend sounds quite artistic and probably uses her house as her canvas. ?

I used to be incredibly clean and tidy, so I don't know if I've got more relaxed or much dirtier.
I can't seem to keep on top of things these days, although its generally cleanish.

I've always liked to be clean and tidy. I've had two husbands, and thankfully they were / are both tidy people too. Once a week I give the place a good going-over and it stays more or less like that for the rest of the week.

Who do I do it for ? Well, myself of course. I see it just the same as looking after my own grooming and appearance - something that I prefer and which I'm happy to put some effort into.

instead it's about a bunch of clean freaks.
I got as far as tidying up a bit and dusting, now I'm back on here!

Must go and have a quick whiz round with the vacuum cleaner.
At least it means I won't be looking at the junk surrounding me in the study …...

I tidy up for both of us. Partner has memory probs so easier if everything has a definite 'home', he's more likely to find it. I hate hunting for things so prefer them to have a 'home' so that I can find them easily too. Do find after a hectic week things aren't in their place tho! Have just spent an hour and a half putting away laundry (and the airer), returning shredder to its proper place having oiled it 2 days ago and left it dripping onto newspaper in the kitchen (also involves returning oil to its home and messy newspaper to recycling bin in garage), plastic containers that never dry in the dishwasher have been on worktop for a couple days 'airdrying', and so it goes on...............
I once cross stitched a saying 'dust is a protective covering for furniture' and often quote it to my friends :-) There's also 'those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter' which I try and live by.

Ha ha trisher, you made me smile. I won’t say I’m a clean freak, well maybe an aspiring clean freak. I don’t stand a chance with Mr. Petunia; he causes chaos in his wake. Where he sits is like a small man cave with mugs newspapers /Sudoku /pens /laptop /books /crumbs/ several of the many hundreds it seems, remote controls/glasses-the drinking kind and reading kind/etc/etc/etc. And some of that man cave stuff seems to attach itself to him and follow him around the house, breaking free and placing itself somewhere obscure. That’s when the cry goes up-have you tidied away my -pen/glasses/Sudoku-or whatever.
I mucked out the sofa today and found 3 dirty socks, a belt, a crisp packet, a book, several coins, a pen, an international plug converter, 2 remotes and a jumper, crushed under the seat.
Then there’s the recycling. We had a spanking new kitchen a few years ago with built in recycling bins. Very nice. However, they are still pristine. Mr Petunia, who chose to take on the recycling role, chooses to leave the beautifully washed out and prepared recycling on the work surface until it threatens to topple onto the floor or I give in and take it myself. Apparently, he forgets that it is there if it’s put into the relevant inside bins. Taking this logic to the extreme, I’m not sure why we need wardrobes and drawers. Clothing left on all surfaces reminds us of what we have and saves time looking through in the morning...

petunia you are obviously living in my house. To be honest you might be and I just haven't seen you there.
The only time the clutter disturbs me is when I'm not feeling well. Then it gets me down. I suppose it's when I'm too weak to deal with it. Therefore a sickroom should be pristine but nothing else matters.
I once employed a cleaner for a few hours a week. At last I had a clean house. I would then try to keep one room clutter free and beautiful with flowers in vases for as long as possible. It was like setting a stage for a play. Nice but not essential.

Well, I've dusted, vacuumed and moved things from one place to another ….
At least one room is tidy now

Love the thread title petunia. Like others, I find it difficult to function when everywhere is cluttered. My mantra when our sons were growing up was "Don't put it DOWN, put it AWAY". They still smile about it but prefer tidy lives themselves now.
Years ago when we all had small children, a friend whose ma-in-law lived not far away used to say that if she saw MIL making her unexpected way down the path, the thing to do was to shove all toys behind the sofa and spray down the hall with furniture polish!

I fight a constant losing battle against my own hoarder instinct (still harvesting Tees hurts just in case I start rag rug making again) and my DH's inability to throw away books, receipts, even envelopes. As I see it, the house is my space and I want to feel.in control of my space, not hemmed in by it.

My husband is much like those described above. He does no housework and makes a mess constantly. However, he is still working part-time for a few more months then things will change! I have noticed that if he cleans the car or shed(s) I am told off if I dare to mess them up- so when he cleans the house it will be the same. This could be a paragraph from a novel!

Could Mr Petunia be in some way related to my 21 year-old daughter, who went back to uni today? My DH has just made three trips into her room removing plates, glasses, mugs and towels

Trisher I agree life is too short! I always remember my MIL saying to me in later life just before she died. I wish I had spent more time playing with my children I was always too busy cleaning and tidying to do anything with them . Her house was always pristine with nothing out of place. She also declutteted regularly. I never felt comfortable there, neither did my children. My SIL home was the same. I always felt like Hyacinths Buckets friend in their homes.. Scared we might make a mess or break something.

We call the fluff under the bed sluts wool. I fight a never ending battle against dog hair and paw marks on our hard floors. I'm so glad we don't have carpets they don't mix well with 3 dogs and a cat.

I keep the flat tidy just incase something happens. Does anyone who lives alone have this problem? Moreover, I am trying to sort the cupboards over time as I don't want the family to have to clear out what I have accumulated over the years. However that being said the 2 cellars and garage are full.

You see some of these minimal houses...a white carpet, a bowl of flowers on the sparkling coffee table, work surfaces all neat and bare...and you think 'what do they DO all day? Once you've sat for half an hour admiring it...how do you keep occupied? Where's the hobby stuff, the coats in the hall, the piles of books...?" My house is far from tidy but you could keep entertained for hours with all the STUFF!

This is one of my favourite poems, and sums up my attitude to housework. My house is fairly clean, and fairly tidy, and I am perfectly happy with the way it is. It's a lot tidier since DH passed on, as he was the messier of the two of us, and also a bit of a hoarder, but a bit of clutter makes the place look lived-in. I dislike visiting houses that look pristine. So boring without a bit of mess! I have only one 'neat' friend!

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Rose Milligan

I think part of why we clean is to feel good about ourselves - seeing a neat, tidy and clean home lends us self-esteem and self-respect. Everything is in order and that leads to a quiet mind and a quiet heart … until we're driven to doing it all over again!f

I would love my house to be as you describe but all I can say its fairly clutter free and clean. There are so many other things that get in the way of cleaning and today is an example. I am all ready to go out with my OH cycling in Wales, dressed up warm and lots of stops for a hot drink.

I think I'm halfway! I like tidiness but as a writer, when I'm working on a book, my study is far from tidy. I have books and papers littered all around. We are trying to sell our house so when we have a viewing we tidy up all over the big house. Takes about an hour and a half.

Are you the Mary Hoffman who writes childrens' and teenagers' books?

My house is an absolute tip with Dh clutter and rubbish everywhere. I hate it and am too embarrassed to invite friends round - fortunately I live on the top of a steep hill and not many people risk walking up unless they have checked I am in first. Getting DH to clear anything is an impossible task and he will have a stressful fit if I pursue it and as he had open heart surgery 4 years ago I daren't risk it - not for him so much as for me. It's not fair though and It makes our relationship very strained as although I give in I know I shouldn't.

Regarding smelly loos I can, however, give a helpful tip. Go in with a box of matches, strike one, blow it out and let the resultant smoke clear the air. Sounds unlikely but it actually works.

This is such an interesting thread & I love the title it made me smile! Actually as regards cleaning it’s my DH who is the clean freak (heck he’s sweeping the floor tiles as I type this and he’s already peeled the potatoes for dinner this evening, bless). He’s happiest when he’s busy. Truly.
I did read once that a man doesn’t care how much dust is under the bed as long as he’s having a good time on top of it!

This thread has me smiling beninghly about my Mum when I first moved into my own accommodation. She somewhat despaired of my lack of domestic interest and resorted to 'Please at least stay tidy. It gives the impression of clean'. I always think of her and give an upward nod when I maintain tidiness just to keep her aware that I did sometimes listen!

I have always tried to maintain a tidy house. Now my DH has always told me I fuss too much, iron too much, clean too much. Given the years of mutterings from him I decided to stop ironing his clothing, just left the mess in the kitchen after our dinner, didn't even make the bed in the morning, left his towel on the bathroom floor. No comments from him until two days later when he asked why his clothes looked so wrinkled and was I unwell as the kitchen was a mess, no recycling had been put out, basically commenting all the work I hadn't done. Gave him the explanation that as he had seen all those chores as me being "too fussy" I just wasn't going to bother any longer. Didn't take long for his mind to be changed, even does the hoovering for me a couple of times a week now.