Our personal heroes

The aim Lisagran was just to give people a place to write a little about people they’ve loved and lost and only if they felt like it. All good intentions.

I was brought up in a family where communication and sharing feelings was very important. I’m so grateful for that as it has seen me through a lot of serious trials in life and I’m still standing.

Well you started the thread, Vickixx, so you must know the aim of it. It’s not to my taste, so I shall do the sensible thing and leave now.

Yes and I removed my post almost as quickly as when I thought it out, I realised I wanted my late DH or me to have nothing to do with it. Wiser heads than mine likewise decided to keep their distance.
My grief was mine, my memories likewise and they felt tainted.
There is no temper involved.
I did not need your thread for our hero’s (sic) or the intrusive questions contained therein.

Agree Lisagran.

Food for thought Lisagran.

I suggested to GNHQ we changed ‘let’s make this a year’to ‘let’s make this a thread’and they said no. The point was make it a thread this year, not a year of mourning. Nobody could contemplate that when it is most definitely a lifetime. If it’s being misconstrued I hope this helps to explain it. ❤️

I repeat my earlier post- I do hope no one who is feeling sad / vulnerable is being exploited. These are real people; this is not a game.

I am with Maw in thinking this thread is sentimental and intrusive , a year is not long enough to mourn , a lifetime won't heal

You also posted a photo of your DH MawBroon and I can’t begin to understand your pain. He was a very handsome man. I’m sure you must have loved him deeply and that will never change. I’m sorry if you don’t like this thread and again I’ll leave it up to GNHQ who do like it.

You can’t compartmentalise grief but if people want to share their feelings is that so wrong. I did about my friend and I’m proud to do so.

Yes I got an email saying what a lovely thread after I voiced my concerns about your post MawBroon cause I offered to change it and they said no. Please take this temper out on someone else and stop intruding on a thread people are sharing their feelings on.

An email from GNHQ “saying what a lovely thread for people” - really Vickixx??
As opposed to for whom?

Personally , as one rcently bereaved I found it saccharine and intrusive and know that there are others widowed in the last year who share my views
I was just shocked and insulted by the suggestion that we should make an extra effort to remember our loved ones in 2019. The idea that you can somehow compartmentalise grief is beyond me.
But hey, so you got a special email from GNHQ.
Just goes to show how little some people understand.

Coincidentally just checked in & saw your post Lisagran. I sincerely hope not. I’ve had an email from GNHQ saying what a lovely thread for people and I hope it stays that way.

People who have lost friends or family dear to them are very vulnerable. I do hope no-one is being exploited.....

To pick out any of my deceased relatives would be invidious. They are all my heroes and have all contributed to make me who I am - whatever that may be.
I too love Maw's quotation if that's what it is. Last night before I fell asleep, I was listening to a reading of Stephen Hawking's autobiography and he said something very similar. Now there's a hero - but not the only one by a long chalk.

Maw that is a lovely phrase, I'm going to steal it. It has made me cry for my son but will be added to his memorial.
Thank you

This morning I almost decided to delete my threads and make haste

I am not at all sure we can choose to delete whole threads unless there is a problem regarding something like anonymity, that is up to GNHQ. We do not have ownership of threads we have started.
However while there are clearly many heroes close to our hearts, I didn’t feel I needed to be exhorted to make this a year to remember them A lifetime might be closer.
In the words I have chosen for my dear husband’s stone
to live in the hearts of those we leave behind, is not to die

I am in awe of my lovely DiL who is coming to terms with her terminal illness with great stoicism. Who is trying to prepare her children for life without their mummy. I’ve never heard a word of complaint from her in all her years of treatment and operations. I’m sending those of you who have bravely shared your pain here a great big (((hug))) I wish I could do more to ease your suffering.

I feel the same that our memories of those we loved and lost remain with us in our heads and hearts and we have no need to post about them. It’s at this time of year though it seems to hit us more and we become more reflective at the end of a year and the beginning of a new year. This morning I almost decided to delete my threads and make haste After reading the messages here how could I. So here I am still around and comforted to know this thread throughout this year is a place where you can reflect and add your thoughts as you feel motivated to do so. I’m overwhelmed by the strength and courage people have shown in such adversity. Whether your are of faith or not,it doesn’t matter. It’s the love you have known and still know that counts.

My paternal grandmother was a quiet woman who, compared with my other grandmother, seemed rather boring and not so easy to get on with but it wasn't until my brother researched our family tree after my father died that I realised how hard her life had been after my grandfather left her when Dad was only five. He then went on to bigamously marry another woman and had another son with her.

Against all odds because money was very tight, Nan raised her son alone, somehow finding the means to give him a good home and education and shaping him into the lovely caring husband and father he became. She must have been so proud of his RAF career.

When she was in her eighties Dad bought her a cottage so she could live near us. That was when I really got to know her after years of travelling abroad with only occasional visits.

She never once complained of past loneliness, poverty or hardship. A glass of Guinness was a cure for all ills!

I wish I'd told her how much I admired her but you didn't in those days.

I am the only child of an only child. My DF's DF was a WWI war veteran that got injured in France and thought he would never have kids. My DF was the joy of his life. DF was a Korean war veteran that got Alzheimers and died three years ago. I was the only one at his side since DM was in hospital w/4th heart attack. DF couldn't move at all for three weeks before his death. I was stroking his hand the day before he died. He gathered his last muscle to squeeze my hand. I miss my two war heroes DF and O.P.

Kathsue. My daughter ,also very lively before suffering Post Natal Depression ,which was not treated properly and became a psychosis. That led to her taking her own life,aged just 33. Her Dad died suddenly sixteen months before that and so never knew what happened,I’ m sure losing him also had a bearing on what happened as she was always a Daddy’s girl.,We will never forget them,I’m sure.

My darling DH who died in February; he would have moved heaven and earth for me, and then given me the sun, moon and stars. He never thought of himself and was so kind. Missed and loved so much every day.

Always remembering my late husband whose birthday was on Christmas Eve. He died suddenly 10 years ago last October but Christmas Eve still seems strange without him. Also my very much loved younger daughter who died 9 years ago next month, leaving two very small daughters , now aged 13 and 11. They live 300 miles away so I hardly ever see them. I miss them and my daughter constantly .