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And the award for "The Most Stupid Question" goes to.........

(281 Posts)
phoenix Mon 17-Dec-18 22:38:57

Mr P!

I phoned him recently to say that he would need to drive to were I work, because I couldn't get all of the Amazon delivery parcels in my car.

He asked "why?"

Errm, because the parcels were quite large, and my car (a Smart Roadster) is very small. tchconfused

Then, 2 days later in Lidl, when we had a 6 pack bottle of water in the shopping, I said "I may have to open one of those in a minute"

Again he asked "Why?"

I could have replied that I had forgotten to have a shower before coming out, and was worried that my personal hygiene might not be up to standard, or that my skin was suddenly feeling so dry that only an instant topical application of water would save me from becoming a wrinkled old crone that very moment, but it was actually because I was thirsty!

And breathe...................

Grandad1943 Wed 19-Dec-18 17:41:36

Lemongrove, Terribull, in regard to your above posts, well, perhaps it would have been nice to be in that warm office today having a laugh on intervals at the posts in this thread. However, I have instead been out of there and in cold empty warehouses in Severnside where we are setting up safety regimes ready for the stockpiling of tinned and dry food due to the uncertainties of Brexit, and it is that which is making us so busy.

However, now I am back I have just looked at your above posts in this thread and once again had a good chuckle. However, in that, you both speak of my alleged misogyny on this forum, when my recent activity demonstrates the complete opposite. As can be witnessed in the "Leadership Thread" (News & Politics), Jenny Formby the General Secretary of the Labour party was being accused by a forum member of obtaining that position by way of being in a sexual relationship with Len McCluskey.

In the above, I pointed out the thirty-five-year career of Jenny Formby which had taken her to the very top within what was a very male-dominated Trade Union Movement at the beginning of that career. All that was prior to her involvement in a partnership with Len McCluskey. Therefore, I was the only forum member to take the trouble to point out the groundbreaking work that Formby has done on behalf of women's equality, which is hardly the actions of someone who wallows in misogyny I would suggest.

However, in the above, should anyone wish to trawl back through the posts of this thread they will witness that Misandry is very much prevalent in this forum. In that, this thread contains many posts where women refer to their male partners and husbands in a context of an idiot or that of a pet poodle. Those forum members then try to excuse that under the heading of humour.

The above makes those who post in such a manner a subject of humour and laughter in its own right, as was the case in our office yesterday (18/12/18).

Perhaps the above may also be the reason why some now "infiltrate" this forum the take the proverbial p*ss.

HellsGrandad.

Jalima1108 Wed 19-Dec-18 16:06:06

Terribull That is such a lovely post and a truly lovely message to Grandad.
It has brought tears to my eyes.

tchsmile

Jalima1108 Wed 19-Dec-18 15:58:42

Or Windsor Castle so near Heathrow
that has always puzzled me
and Hampton Court Palace

Why would you want to site a palace near an airport? confused

By the way - update on the Poundland daft question - I passed our £ shop today and it is not Poundland, it's something else and it clearly says in several places on the outside 'Everything £1'.
Should I go back and ask for a refund of 29p?
Or is that a Stupid Question?

TerriBull Wed 19-Dec-18 14:31:05

lemongrove, I don't know about you but I'm suffering from office envy after Grandadof43's jolly missives about life in his workplace, a space that is seemingly juxtaposed somewhere between an industrious hive of activity and it's frequent warm bonding sessions gathered around a computer screen to find out what's going on GN! It is possible however that these bonding sessions are becoming a bit too frequent and Grandadof43, gets to 5pm and finds he's done sod all not accomplished as much as he would like to have done, hence the long late hours into the night when he and his colleagues get down to a hard hour's graft sad Nevertheless, one can't help noticing Grandad's mood seems to improve as the day wears on, it's quite evident that his stern Misandry and Inclusivity Officer persona morphs into what appear to be something akin to the late Hughie Green, thanking us for lifting the spirits of his team and lightening the load of a long tough day, reiterating that he means that most sincerely. {warm glow emoticon] as the virtual sparkle right there in his eye pings right off the page.

Thank you Grandad for making our pre Christmas so special tchsmile

lemongrove Wed 19-Dec-18 13:31:55

Whenever Grandad43 is annoyed with women on Gransnet, he falls back on the old ‘ we are all falling about here at the office at all the daft comments’ ......highly unbelievable and have never known anyone to spend so much time ostensibly at work but actually trawling Gransnet.hmm Bucket of salt needed let alone a pinch.

FarNorth Wed 19-Dec-18 13:21:42

TerriBull, don't worry "Gran" has been traditionally used for female grandparents but can now be re-purposed as an abbreviation of the word "grandparent" and applies to all who have grandchildren.
Anyone without grandchildren, but who wishes to identify as a "Gran" on this forum, is also welcome of course.

annep Wed 19-Dec-18 12:27:20

purplepoppies that is so funny.

grumppa Wed 19-Dec-18 09:14:07

Or Windsor Castle so near Heathrow..

GreenGran78 Wed 19-Dec-18 01:14:53

purplepoppies. Ref your daft tourist, I remember reading about a one who asked why they had built Stonehenge so near the main road.

grumppa Wed 19-Dec-18 00:30:24

I took nothing amiss, MawBroon. Alas, the days when I might have taken a miss are long past...

Jalima1108 Wed 19-Dec-18 00:24:05

tchgrin Caledonail
Oh yes, it sounds so familiar

Caledonai14 Wed 19-Dec-18 00:20:05

Jalima tchgrin

Scene one : An Evening at Oor Hoose
DH: Do you want anything from the kitchen?
Me: A cup of coffee would be nice thanks!
brew

Scene two : Another evening at Oor Hoose
Me: Do you want anything from the kitchen?
DH: What are you offering?
Me: What would you like?
DH: Well, what are you having?
Me slightly tetchily : Coffee, but what do you actually want?
DH: Surprise me.
Me now with gritted teeth : Remember when I brought a surprise banana and you ate my crisps instead?
DH: You're having crisps?
Me: No just a coffee, but I'd be sitting drinking it by now if you hadn't kept me standing in this draughty doorway...
DH: Oh okay a cup of tea then.
Me: Great and with great restraint and patience do you want anything to eat with it?
DH: I'm nae sure. What's the choice?
hmm

grin Thanks again for sharing the lighthearted moments, ladies and gentlemen.

Jalima1108 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:50:17

Flowerofthewest grin
You should have made them swim back!

MawBroon Tue 18-Dec-18 23:30:35

I think I have just read one of the shortest Misandry and Inclusivity directives ever tchconfused

phoenix Tue 18-Dec-18 23:30:05

You obviously don't get out enough, Grandad1943, shame, really, your talents for repartee and witty banter are wasted.

Grandad1943 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:26:17

Hey, we got all the humour we wanted today just reading the posts in this thread. All of us including me. grinwinktchwink

Jalima1108 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:26:03

DH always gives 'a politician's answer' - ie answering a question with another question.

Here's a recent example:

Me "Would you like fish for dinner"?
DH "Well, do you want fish for dinner"?
Me "I'm asking you, we can have something else if you like, just give me an idea"
DH "Well, if you want fish for dinner then I suppose I don't mind having fish for dinner"
Me [sigh]"I'm asking you what you would like"!
DH "Well, I suppose if you thought of fish for dinner then yes, I'll put up with fish".
Me "you can have anything you want!! Just say!"

As for where to go on holiday …..

MawBroon Tue 18-Dec-18 23:25:31

Apologies if you took it amiss Grumppa sincerely not meant that way xx

Jalima1108 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:16:56

grin^It must be hard going through life without a sense of humour.....^
Grannybags I'm not sure that it is - it must be harder for those all around any such person who lacks a sense of humour.

Jalima1108 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:14:19

As one of the Assignment handlers said when she came in and somebody showed her this thread, " those posts must all come from people who are absolutely perfect wives and partners"
Well done to that wise woman - very perspicacious!

Jalima1108 Tue 18-Dec-18 23:12:18

grumppa grin

Is Mr P winning so far?
I'm not sure about the man in Poundland though because I picked up a ball of yarn in one of those Pound shops the other day, confidently handed over £1 at the till whereupon the lady said 'sorry love, it's £1.29'! grin
(He could be in the first 10)

phoenix Tue 18-Dec-18 23:02:06

Actually, Maw as I complied yet another "to do, still to buy" list, I did point out to Mr P that he really doesn't have a clue as to what the person charged with organising the food etc (It would never cross his radar that bread sauce means extra milk!) so I think Grumppa's "Forgive us, for we know not what you do!" was meant kindly!

annep Tue 18-Dec-18 22:55:23

Anitampl did you not ask for permission to speak?

MawBroon Tue 18-Dec-18 22:52:25

Forgive us, for we know not what you do!
Alas grumppa we know only too well what the Misandry and Inclusivity Officer does, as we hear about it at interminable kength tchgrin or possibly tchshock (yawn )

phoenix Tue 18-Dec-18 22:50:14

Thank you grumppa for getting us back on track to a lighthearted thread! tchgrin

Kisses on the bottom, too! tchwink