Gransnet forums

Chat

A Living will or Advanced Care Plan (for the elderly)

(29 Posts)
Witzend Sat 01-Dec-18 19:58:18

An ex next door neighbour, then in his mid or late 80s, was resuscitated after a second heart attack. He told me afterwards that the after effects were so painful (presumably cracked or broken ribs) that he wished they'd just let him die.
He did in fact die a few months later anyway.

After that, when I was asked in advance about resus. preferences for my mother (who had dementia), my answer was a very firm No thank you.

Willow500 Sat 01-Dec-18 19:45:26

Panache there is some information on the Age UK site although I think you've probably already got that. I do believe it's a good idea to make some wishes known in the event you're not in a position to pass this on. It's obviously a very difficult thing to contemplate but it does absolve a loved one having to make the decision. I had to do it for my mum having POE as she was unable to make any for herself at the end. When my FIL was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated he replied I wouldn't mind please smile

Witzend Sat 01-Dec-18 19:07:57

We've both just done our Powers of Attorney,for finances and Health and Welfare - the latter includes a section for any particular preferences.

Having seen far too much of dementia in all its stages, I feel very strongly about this, so here's what I put in mine.

'.1). In the event that I develop dementia, , or any other condition where I am unable both to care for myself and speak with capacity for myself, then with the exception of fractures, I do not want any interventions, whether surgical or medical, intended to,prolong my life or keep me alive when I would otherwise die. I ask for palliative care only.

2). In the event of my needing full time care because of dementia or any other reason, I do not want any of my family to have the burden of looking after me. I want to be placed in a good care home as soon as my care becomes at all difficult or stressful for family members.'

My dh has copied mine word for word.

Panache Sat 01-Dec-18 18:05:22

Having been advised to think this over and subsequently complete the questions in both these areas, naturally I am very unsure, although do believe it is certainly in the best interest of anyone suffering long term ill health.

I would appreciate your views very much.
Thank you.