Old attitudes live on.

Such a good topic!
Personally, if husband died before me, I couldn't imagine anyone taking his place. I'm a very independent person.
But if I go first I think he might be tempted to take up with another kind lady. I've spoilt him.
His mother died young (55) and his father remarried quite soon after. Didn't last long btw.
Eldest son's MiL died a few years ago and the lady who cared for her in her last years now lives with him.
I don't blame him, men and women are different. imo.

Perhaps I should have read through all the posts on this thread, finding myself as it were in the target demographic.
But I hate generalisations like these cliches, we are all different and it presupposes that men are incapable of living alone or looking after themselves, or indeed that those are the only factors which matter.
Just as some people choose not to be or to remain married, losing a life partner is not just about becoming half of a matrimonial unit.
I don’t believe anybody “frowns” on women moving on or forming new relationships nor indeed if they choose not to.
So no, it rings no bells for me!
I don’t want a man.
I would have liked to have Paw back again, but no, not just any man.

I am not judging, just asking why. There seem to be so many women and men who seem to feel lost, if expected to operate solo.

You have only got look for the number who fall for love scams.

I would not marry again as it would disinherit my DC. Perhaps this plays a part in the thinking of many women while men move on to a new family. Tragic but true.

I am a widower of a year but I know that that attitude still prevails.

There are a lot more women than men in our age group. the men have a much better chance of meeting someone , than the women.

I used to work in an aged care home - one of the old men had half-a dozen "girlfriends" who'd go and spend time in his room. He was like a shiek with his harem !

If we are thinking of older Widows/Widowers as we age many of us get more grumpy and set in our ways so we are not attractive to to the opposite sex we also loose our sex drive, that aside there are far more Widows. Widowers are also in demand, a new widower will have no shortage of single ladies offering to " cook a meal for him" after a decent period of course, my father had plenty after mum died suddenly.
Last year I went on a group holiday and met a widow of 69, she was attractive, a lovely lady and lost ther husband 25 years before, so I asked her why she had not remarried. Her reply surprised me " My husband left me well provided for, I did not need a husband to support myself and daughter, there were several offers but I never met a man I wanted to live with."
I guess that sums it up both need to find a new partner you want to live with.

Reading David's post, it made me think, (and it is no reflection on what David said) that there is an assumption that if an unattached woman, especially an older widowed woman, offers any act of friendship or assistance to a man her age, that she is 'after' the man.

My DF was immeasurably helped after he was widowed by the women of a social group my DM belonged to. Most of them happily married, a few widowed. He used to have lunch with one or other every week and drop around for coffee. Nobody who knew them, would ever have suggested that any of them were 'after' him. It was just the hand of support and inclusion within a close social group.

I think if an older woman offers meals and support to a man on his own, it should be interpreted as just that, an offer of company and a meal, by a woman on her own to someone else in that position. No-one makes any comment if she offers that hand of friendship to another woman.

Yes I agree MOnica it's a shame the perception persists that the widow/widower are 'after' another partner. They could be such a support to each other.

I have a friend who was widowed about 12 years ago. Her husband was only in his 50s. She is 70 now and looks great, very slim with modern clothes, hairstyle etc. She would love to meet someone but says she wants someone who she finds attractive (fair enough) not a pot bellied old man. So far this person hasn't come along and I'm not sure that he will.

I was widowed 11 years ago. Never expected or wanted a new man in my life. Two years ago I met a man socially who had been widowed just 6 months. He was not looking for anyone else, in fact was suffering greatly from the loss of his wife. We got on well because we had lots in common and then met occasionally because we enjoyed each others company. Our friendship means a great deal to us, and over the last two years that friendship has grown and we have become very close. A totally natural progression about which we are both very happy. We don't know what will happen in the future. We both have families and live some distance from each other, but we have every intention of continuing our relationship.

I've been widowed for many years now and prefer my own company as I'm now too set in my ways to even consider a relationship. It wouldn't be fair on anyone.

I'd go along with MawBroon that if I could have my husband back all would be solved.
Never in a month of Sundays would I ever have matched his like-----honest,easy-going good-humoured intelligent.