Could I ask a favour?

Apart from that, I love Gransnet! smile
Polly48; Welcome to Gransnet and I hope you'll come to love me one day soon. , despite what you're reading about me on this thread!
I'm a harmless 91 year young British OAP,
been living in Melbourne for 50 years and my mission in life, what's left of it, is to bring some humour into GN threads, but my sense of it appears to have confused some posters, probably being a hybrid of OZ and Pommie. So don't be deterred; it's all harmless fun ( I think),and I feel safe saying that being 12,000 miles behind the front line.

sorry, Rufus, I think your post must have been 'tongue in cheek'!

NanTheWiser - I looked on there a couple of times and retreated in haste

Don't ever go on Mumsnet Polly, we are all pussy cats in comparison...

But thank you, Rufus for illustrating so neatly the point I was making in my post at 09:37.

By their usernames they appear to be men, though they bitch at each other in the way that women are traditionally represented as behaving. Their usernames and/or profile photographs are the only ways to distinguish men from women, so I can't tell whether a poster is male or female. Even you, Rufus, who like to emphasise your masculinity, could be sitting at the keyboard in your frilly negligee, planning to get your nails gelled before you meet with other lovely ladies to get stuck into being waspish about the neighbours and tearing a few reputations to shreds.

Luckily, gransnet has very few bitches, of either or intermediate sex.

From your much earlier posts you appear to me to be a misandrist, but I guess that shows how misleading anonymous posts can be!
Not funny Rufus, sorry, and I cannot think of any evidence to back up your claim.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you have mixed up posters.

OoRoo to you to.

appear to be men?
Elegran; How do you tell ? From your much earlier posts you appear to me to be a misandrist, but I guess that shows how misleading anonymous posts can be!
OoRoo

I cannot feel the pressure I am putting on the keys so either miss letters/spaces or repeat them
Monica; You appear to be a suitable candidate for the Windows "voice activation" app. or whatever it's called. It's even on Win7, which is my pref. v Win10, although I don't need to use it, yet.! Can save a lot of deleting and amending text, if you want your post to be legible. If that doesn't bother you, then fine!
So long as you don't keep thinking of Spike Milligan; "I talk to the trees!"

Oh, ditzyme, have you read some of the exchanges on other online sites by what appear to be men? Women are not alone in being bitchy.

Some of the exchanges that seem most cutting to a newcomer are between people who "know" each other well and have had disagreements in the past. One will reply scathingly to a comment they think is typical of the other, who will respond sharply to the attack, and before the conversation moves back to the subject there is a bit of argy-bargy.

It is only a few who initiate these attacks, and they are usually well known to everyone else for their "strong opinions" and "robust debate", which they think are the same as "no holds barred and go for the jugular". 99% of posts are reasonably calm and polite, even when the views expressed are diametrically opposed.

When you have been on Gn for a bit longer, hillwalker you will recognise the user-names whose machine-gunning posts are best taken with a pinch of salt and skipped over. A pity they don't recognise that their opinions then get skipped over too.

Oh gosh I'm a pussycat here compared to the crime forum I was on for over 6 years fighting my corner. I had my " Judge Judy " hat on permanently. Forum headings dictate the type of discussion/s which take place and you're always going to get over-heated on certain threads but what I've found here are very few if any caps. ( shouting ) which were prevalent on the crime forum. It was horrendous at times, if interesting. I loved it really.

This forum is tame Polly48 !! There are various interests and discussions.

It has been my experience of forums where the members are predominantly women, that bitchiness and rudeness and nastiness inevitable creep in to some conversations. We all want to have our say, we all think we are right, the nature of the beast some might say. But what one member might see as an all right thing to say, can be misinterpreted by (some of) those reading it. You put your own inflection on the words written, which may be totally different to how the member heard the words in her head. What you don't like, ignore. It happens to my posts all the time! Am I bothered? Not really, I learnt a long time ago that my outspokenness can be misheard(read) as rudeness. Not my problem, we should all be able to air our views whilst being polite. Which I always try to be.

I believe that it's just a little out of order for a new poster to try (in this case fairly kindly) to attempt to change the ethos of a site that's been developing quite well over the years.
To come along and suggest that really we should all be a little 'nicer' to each other is rather patronising.
There are 'robust' threads and gentler ones, 'assertive' posters and kinder ones. There is plenty of supportive advice when help is needed.
It's Pick n Mix so choose what you wish. Post or lurk? Argue or concede?
Up to you but please don't dictate to others, however tactful you think you're being.

I do have a rather sarcastic SOH and, unfortunately, when I read my posts back to myself they sound fine.
In real life what I say generally sounds fine too because I’m there with my facial expressions too.
I think that I should leave a day or two before sharing my thoughts so I can give a well thought out response that will be truly uplifting, supportive, insightful....
But then the thread has gone.

I have always found GNs to be supportive and informative. Yes we have differing views but that is what makes GN so interesting. Some GNs are very passionate about certain subjects (politics in particular) and sometimes the posts on those threads can get heated.

I recall reading something somewhere

"Studies have shown that reading or listening to an alternative opinion does not cause harm"

I try not to say anything I wouldn’t to a person s face I certainly don’t hide in social media but I have no opportunity to meet dozens and dozens of people with different views so this for me is lovely I like that we are all able to put our views across whether they are agree or not agree There could be a few harsher posters but not as many as when I first joined I keep away from the political threads for the most part because a) I don’t have enough intelligence or knowledge to back my heart up and b) I m passionate and would open my big mouth too much
I have seen so much kindness and support on here that it totally outweighs any minor bitchiness or nastiness
In my observation most of the problems happen when someone asks for ideas and solutions but have no intention of listening or accepting any other possibilities and are really only looking for people to agree and say ‘there there of course you are right’
I love this site warts and all

Oh no. I've heard of dumbing down but this sounds like boring down!
I'm not hiding behind an online persona. Lots of GNers know who I am and have met me.
Now I'm off as this thread is too wet. Wonder what's going on at the Argy Bargy?!

I think it would be too dull if we all agreed but it could be better for debates if we could stick to arguing the points rather than personal sniping and assuming one's own anecdotal opinion has more validity than someone else's anecdotal opinion. Factual /evidenced opinion of course will strengthen any debate rather than "well I think..."
If only I could stick to my own advice

I have noticed a few "snarky" comments on gransnet since I joined. But I believe that, even though we may have differences of opinion, we can get that opinion across without being unkind, condescending or disrespectful. I think most of us are mature enough to manage that, and not let our posts become petty. I agree with you jenpax, don't post anything to anyone that you wouldn't say in person.

I agree, Polly! People hide behind the anonymity of social media, and this is causing horrendous problems (sometimes fatal) with our youngsters. We should be sensitive in our responses.

I try to do what Polly48 has suggested. If I wouldn't say it to someone in person, I don't write it.

In general, I try to give measured and constructive advice but I don't imagine everyone agrees with what I write.

Hillwalker I glad to see that you have stuck with GN, even though you are still looking for likeminded GNers..

I have noticed on other threads it has been suggested that you start a thread.

We don't have many hills around my neck of the woods however we do have a lovely forest and nature reserves that I walk weekly (if not daily during school holidays).

Please tell us about your interests.
You maybe surprised just how many GNers will be interested and enjoy the same pastimes as yourself.

Every now and then a new poster comes along and tries to make us all be lovely to each other. It never works! We're just not a bunch of Pollyannas. However, we offer support and often much kindness. We don't always agree but that's life. There are some snipers but I try to avoid any threads I find them on. When I meet up with other GNers at our meet ups I'm always struck by what good company they are.

ps that was not meaning you !!