Punctuality - a virtue or a vice?

I regard it as neither. It's simply common sense and good management of everyone's time. One thing the ageing process has bestowed on me is a sheer distaste for rushing. Ugh! For a commercial meeting I tend to arrive five minutes early and similar for a social one (other than in a home) but the latter is usually in a congenial arena and the company very much of my choosing therefore worth waiting for if need be. I enjoy extra time to perhaps peruse a menu or simple people watching can be lovely. My main angst with this (and a degree of failure) is one son who is consistently late even although I let him choose our meeting time. Another ugh! I have toyed with arriving the regular half hour late to match him but that would be the occasion when he complied and I'm not up for egg on my face. Actually, he wouldn't mind if I were late so I have nothing to gain. Sad fact is, I'm so happy to see him that he kinda calls the shot here. He certainly doesn't do it maliciously. Just plain hopeless!

NfkDumpling You're not alone, I'm always struggling to be on time. I'm rarely late these days but in the past I was.

There's a t shirt available saying "I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come".
Sometimes I wonder if that's me!

I do see lateness as rudeness.

My husband has to get to the cinema or theatre half an hour early. He objects to us being the last to leave anywhere particularly a restaurant.

This thread has brought memories of my Grandmother, she brought me up from the day I was born in her back bedroom.
She saw being early as a chance to feel superior. I can still see her now standing in the dining room, coat on, scarf on, impatiently waiting the full hour until it was time to leave the house and still get there early.
If someone was on time they were, in her eyes, late. It was a horrible trait, I think it was because her days were empty and her refusal to fill them with useful things.

I too have an obsession about being early. It really annoys me when others are late.
I recently had a routine health check. My appointment time was 2.30. As usual I was there at 2.10, sitting waiting. At 2.25(I do like to be specific) a gentleman arrived at the desk for his 2.15 appointment. The receptionist made a call, obviously to the person the appointment was with, then told him to sit down and she would see him. At 2.30 the healthcare support worker I was seeing arrived through to the waiting room. As I got ready to get up she called the gentleman,and took him through. I went up to the receptionist and said I was unhappy with this, after all he had missed his appointment and it was now my time. The response, “his appointment is before yours.” Yes, but he was late!!! I spoke to the healthcare support worker when I was finally called through and said how unhappy I was and there was really no point in checking my blood pressure now as I was so annoyed. Her response “his appointment was before you”. Yes I said “but he was late and was taken at my time and should have been after me.” I also told her that I wouldn’t have minded as much but no-one had come out of her room since I had arrived 20 minutes early, so she had been obviously waiting for him, she had not taken me early (and she knew I was there) therefore why should I suffer because other people cannot arrive on time.
Ended up she put in a complaint that I had been aggressive!!! Of course the practice agreed with her and I received a warning letter saying if there was a repeat of this behaviour I would have to find another practice. It was no use my saying I was not aggressive (and I really wasn’t) plus my gp said he agreed that the other person should have been seen first!!!! Unfortunately I am disabled and there are no other gp practices near enough.

Definitely a virtue! As a church bellringers, my husband and I know that we have to allow for brides to be late(sometimes as much as 25 minutes) when estimating when we will be finished. One photographer apparently remonstrated with the bride when she told him to get a move on as he said "it is traditional for the bride to be late" We love it when the weddings start on time! When our elder daughter got married she was so early arriving, that she asked the driver to drive round the block, much to the consternation of her fiance, who saw the car driving away and thought she had changed her mind!

I would say punctuality is definitely a virtue, though I confess I am not always one of the virtuous! I always endeavour to arrive on time, or a few minutes early, for appointments. But I hate arriving early for dental appointments - the waiting is horrendous.

I'm always early. I'm married to a last minute man. Our daughter is just like him and our son is just like me. When we have to collect our grandchild from school I like to arrive early as there are few parking spaces. We're about to leave the house when hubby says he's just going to the toilet. i could scream as he spends 10 minutes in there. My fear is being held up and not being on time for granddaughter coming out of school.

If I invite friends to come to my house for a meal, I would not mind if they were ten minutes late, but please don't come ten minutes early or you would probably find my OH in the hall hoovering (he is a last minute man) and you would have to climb over the hoover to get in.

So to sum up - women are habitual early birds going by the above. Me too. Can't stand being late for anything. I was always told that punctuality was the politeness of princes (or princesses).

Sounds like me Varian or I'd be dashing upstairs to 'put my face on'

Chucky, I agree that it is very annoying and I would have probably complained too. However, upon reflection, we don't know what the gentleman's circumstances were. It might have been very difficult for him to get there, he might have family member with dementia he couldn't leave until somebody else turned up or he could have been returning for a second test an hour from the first that needed doing within a defined time.
Our Dr will be understanding about lateness but will ask you to sit and wait for a convenient moment unless there is a very good reason somebody has been late.

Hi, Punctuality is definitly a virtue. I have ended friendships because the friend was ALWAYS late. Its so rude and uncaring!

I hate being late. I think it is disrespectful. However, if someone is rarely late and explains why on that occasion they were, I am fine with that . My sister is always late, so much so that we always give her an earlier time than everyone else to meet up. When it is an appointment that I have to be on time for, and she wants to accompany me, I tell her I will leave at such and such time and will go without her if she is not there. When she comes to see me she won't give a time as she says she can't then be late but that means I am often waiting around hungry for up to two hours. However, in all sorts of other ways she is very kind and loyal.

If I'm ready to leave the house but don't need to leave for say, 5 or 10 minutes, I'll often find a little job to do. But then this little job takes longer or leads to another little job so in the end I'm late leaving the house, probably have to run for the bus, possibly miss it . . . . and arrive late in a 'muck-sweat' as we say in Yorkshire.

It's good manners to be on time. I like to turn up a little early for things like dental or doctor's appointments especially if I'm going by public transport which can be unpredictable - you never know what can happen.
Two weeks running to an unfamiliar department I made sure I left really early and what a good job I did. A poor old lady got caught in the bus doors as the driver shut them before she'd got off properly - she was hurt and we all had to wait for another bus to continue our journey.
Would you believe it - the very same thing happened the following week, different lady, different driver. Thankfully they weren't badly hurt but it was nasty for them.
Both times I just about managed to throw myself through the doors with two minutes to spare. It I hadn't allowed the extra time I'd have been late.
If I'd offered the same excuse for being late two weeks on the trot they wouldn't have believed me.

icanhandthemback His excuse was that the traffic was busy, which can happen. However, as I said to my gp, if I was late I would be grateful to be seen, but would not expect anyone who had arrived on time to have to wait longer just because I was late. To me the more sensible think would have been to see me early, when it became obvious that the other patient was late.
I think your gp is completely correct in the way they deal with lateness.

I agree with MOnica, in fact when I was working I would be deliberately late for staff meetings to ensure they were all there , with their coffee/ tea in hand and ready to get cracking....
I think being early or late depends on the appointment

Having been brought up in a family with the motto 'Better an hour early than a minute late', I'm always early.
I married someone from a similar family - but more so - which culminated in us arriving at the church for our son's wedding before they'd unlocked the doors (and before the vicar ?) as we'd left our hotel ridiculously early 'to allow for traffic'.
Unfortunately, the years of insistence on being early means that if I'm held up, I start to panic - sweaty palms, heart beating fast, the lot - so I don't think it'll change now. I don't mind waiting a few minutes for people - but the friends who are always 30 minutes late drive me nuts, as it's so rude - they're saying that their time is always more important than mine..!

we went to an RPS event today, 10.30 start, told not to arrive before 10. We got there at 9.58, and there was barely a space left in the car park

You were very late when you met me last week Maw
But after a rhubarb gin I forgave you.
I always like to be somewhere ahead of time ( said virtuously) have been like this since a child, so not an older thing at all.DH is even earlier for things than me, as he imagines all sorts of scenarios that may appear and impede our progress.
I have a friend who is always late, she faffs about and never gets anywhere on time, and she has a DH who is even worse than her.If we go and meet them anywhere we automatically arrive a half hour late, and we are still too early for them.

I detest lateness especially at work. I am an "early" person and so now are my adult children. I always got them to school witholidays minutes to spare and always turn up to work with time to spare. I hate being kept waiting and therefore do not keep people waiting unless it is way beyond my control. My db and bil are not goid timekeepers and at some family event last weekend where my db had set the time even my AC said they'll be late and they were annoying for those of us waiting around.

I used to be surprised at how many parents at Primary School would turn up late on a regular basis, sometimes as much as half an hour. It is no wonder there are so many adults lacking punctuality if they haven't had a good role model.

Quite frankly I think arriving on time given.......whether you are meeting som eone or they are coming to your place, I regard it as good etiquette to arrive well on time.
Perfect timing is with just a few minutes to spare.

Being punctual is very important to me. and I expect the same courtesy from all who call at my house.

Perhaps the fact I have had so many Hospital appointments over many years this fact has been drummed home this to me.

In fact I think it is such bad manners to be late for any of these appointments.......we have more time on our hands than the Medics, Departments etc and for every one we might keep waiting, they might have been able to fit in another patient.

True enough more times than not I am kept waiting,hours in some instances, however I still believe I should present myself on due time given.
Even if there is a genuine hold up in these days of `phones and texts, it takes but a minute to send a message.

These ladies were so very fortunate and I sincerely hope they may take heed and pay great respect to the timetable if they again are offered another trip in your car.

Being married to ex-military you get used to always being on time or early although my DM said that when I wasvery young I always wanted to the house earlier than they had planned because I was convinced we would miss the train if we didnt.

We were nearly late for our lunch date with friends on Friday though. We had had several days of needing to be up early so took our time on Friday morning. Just about to get in the shower and the plumber turns up to change it for a new one. We thought he was coming late afternoon. As DH is seeing him out of the door afterwards I jumped into the shower. DH goes to start shaving and the power goes off. For us no power means no water as we have a bore hole for water. Anyway 5 or so minutes later the power was back and we got to the restaurant on time by the skin of our teeth.
I do hate it when people are late for appointments which is quite common at the hairdresser/beautician I go to. So I always try to have the first appointment in the morning or afternoon. Even then I find she has fitted someone in before me and that person arrived late so I am left sitting there for 20 minutes after my appointment time. She knows now to let me know if she is running late as I would rather spend that time in my own home.

That's the annoying thing when someone is late.
Last cup of coffee, wash up the cup, have a wee, put on (uncomfortable) shoes....
Half an hour later; go for another wee (just in case) and start looking at the kettle but resist the urge...
15 minutes later; make another coffee. Just start to drink it and up they turn.

Reading through these posts I realise I'm not late, I don't remember ever holding up the start of a meeting, or found my child standing alone in the playground with the teacher. I'm just generally the last to arrive.

Today, I was supposed to be in the Market Square at 2.00pm to help plant out the tubs for winter display. Because I had some replacement planters (DH makes them) I got my act together and arrived at 1.40pm. I was the last but one to arrive. I now realise that I should arrive at least half an hour earlier than the arranged time - just not for dinner parties. Why did no one tell me this earlier in my life?!