Punctuality - a virtue or a vice?

I'm just the same as EllenVannin. My mum was always on time and instilled this in me. I think that people who are always late are in fact very rude; such behaviour suggests other people don't matter and can be kept waiting.

Punctuality is simply good manners. Having said that, I'm not always on time and beat myself up for not starting earlier. It always takes longer to get out of the house than I expect. Knowing that, I forgive my friends very readily if they're late. ?

I prefer to be early and, like many other posts here, I hate it if I'm meeting someone and they're late! Mind you I hate it if you've invited people for dinner and they turn up bang on the time stated! I'm normally hot and bothered doing last minute stuff hoping they'll be late!

I operate best when I leave getting showered and dressed to the last 30 minutes before having to leave.
I might read, go online, make a few unnecessary phone calls or even wash my hair at the last minute, however, I almost always seem to manage arriving on time.
I do check online re road closures, heavy traffic, delayed/cancelled trains etc. in order to make alternative travel plans if necessary.
Being late can disrupt meetings, give a bad impression, delay outings with friends who await your arrival, hold up the food at dinner parties when arrival times are clearly stated.
I learned to change my teenage habits when, at interview in later years, I was repeatedly late. Having been recalled, longlisted and shortlisted for the position, on my first day I arrived early, probably before the senior partner had had breakfast.
At the end of the day I was summoned to his rooms where he handed me a tube, inside which was an illuminated scroll.
Puzzled, I unfurled it to reveal a notice, congratulating me on being the only person they had ever admitted who had been late at interview.
Never again.

I am always early. If it's public transport or a long drive, I'll always aim for at least half hour before. If I'm there too early, I'll have a coffee etc.

I once arrived 10 minutes early at one friends house, I could see she was quite put out that I was early. I'll never do that again! Other good friends don't mind 10 mins either way.

When I invite people to mine, there is always one friend I know could be half hour early, so I always bear that in mind, and make sure I'm ready and presentable.

being on time is a sign of maturity, ive had in my life people who were always late-rude controlling behaviour, I got rid rid of them after long thought, my life is better. being on time is respectful for both, genuine reasons for being late are ok, traffic jams etc. I don't tolerate it anymore

I always try to be early, but in a work situation, the phone rings etc etc as I'm heading out the door, and often end up scrapping to a meeting/appointment by the skin of my teeth!! Also how many times do you head out of the door and 'roadworks' have appeared out of nowhere....no warning, and they weren't there when you headed out in the morning....so frustrating. I also hate being late!

Sar53 I agree with your husband that it's very annoying when you arrive in good time but are not seen at your appointed time and have to wait. There used to be a prominent, and very annoying notice on the wall in our dental surgery, "Late appointments will be charged at £xx." There must have been so many complaints about being kept waiting to see the dentist that eventually the notice was taken down. It ought to have read, "Our time is worth a lot more than yours!"

Of course, it's not fair to turn up late and expect to be seen before others who have arrived on time. Sometimes, more work may be necessary for one patient than was expected. I try to be patient (no pun intended) at the doctors for that reason.

My sister and mother are always abysmally late which irritates me enormously so I used to turn up slighted early. One day I arrived at my sister’s 10 minutes early and she gave me a right ear bashing telling me how rude it was. Now I arrive in the vicinity early and hang about until the correct time before knocking the door.

My OH is a "plenty of time, no rush" type. Had to go for our 'flu jabs before the doctor's surgery closed at 18.30. Underground car park partially closed off for refurbishment meaning round and round in every decreasing circles. Had to make a fast sprint/mad dash to arrive before he locked the doors! Next time, we'll go when I want to.........

My DM was always late and I hated it. I hated all eyes on us when we entered a room, looking for a spare seat etc.
So now, guess what, I try to be in good time for everything but I have found at a class I attend, if you arrive a little bit on the late side you can get a parking space because the previous class has left.
So it can work in your favour. Psychology you see

I am always early - in fact it is a joke in our house with my AC as I always get them on the platform for their train at least half an hour before it is due.
What really annoys me is when you are on holiday going on a tour and there is always one couple who turn up for the bus at least 10 minutes late. It is always the same couple of course. Our tour guide got round this by telling us that the bus would set off on time with or without them and it worked. Not much fun trying to get back to the hotel on Lake Garda from Venice on public transport.

I dont think I have ever been late for anything - take after my dad for that. Will always arrive early “just in case”

Years ago, working in a public sector office and you had to clock in but in a book. The late book would appear at 9.10 am.
You had to give a reason.
The first entry would be "leaves on line" or "bus late"etc. Everyone after that wrote ditto.
One morning a man wrote "wife had baby" and everyone afterwards wrote ditto.
Those were the things we laughed about back then.

Just call me 'The White Rabbit'.....hahaha. It is a miracle if I arrive anywhere early.

It’s absolutely a virtue. I am always in time, often early, but I enjoy the free time earliness gives me. Over the years I’ve had many friends who are regularly late, in my opinion just plain rude. I’ll excuse the occasional lateness as things do happen, but one couple were never on time for anything. They always had family dramas = their time was more important than ours. It got so ridiculous that we stopped arranging anything. They were always late for church and would wander in chatting. I mentioned it once to another church member who said “oh but they have children to get ready!” As if my children, who were always ready on time, didn’t count!

As to people turning up early at the house for dinner, I don’t think it’s ever happened to me! But again, I’m always ready in plenty of time so it wouldn’t faze me.

I hate waiting at doctor’s appointments, but last week I was really unwell and happened to get an appointment with the best doctor in our practice. He gave me a thorough going over, rang the hospital etc, so I was in there ages and came out to the glares of loads of waiting patients! So sometimes it can’t be helped.

I'm always on time (or 5-10 minutes early), just to allow for any delays on the way. Recently I finally tackled a friend of mine who was ALWAYS late in meeting up and rarely apologised. Eventually, I said to her that I resented the fact that she clearly valued my time so little (as she had wasted so much of it over the years) and that, in future, I would wait for 15 minutes and then leave. She acted as though I was being unreasonable, didn't I realise how busy her life was, etc. BUT when she was late the next time, I left. She hasn't been in touch since and I now realise that I was right - and it wasn't only my time that she didn't value!

CarlyD7 that's horrible!
Maybe she feels your attitude has changed and you no longer like her company. Do you?
If you miss her friendship I think if I were you I would make light of it and just be late yourself or take a book to read or some knitting.

"Leave with enough time to change a tyre".

...or, more correctly, change a wheel.

Some people use being late as a control mechanism.
I had a senior member of staff who always arrived 10 minute late for our weekly team meeting. On the first few times I gave her time to explain why she was late..always to do with being so busy etc. but soon realised it was her way of saying I am busier / work harder than everyone else. After that I just kept the meeting going, not repeating items for her benefit etc. If my other, equally busy, senior staff could be there on time..so could she!

MawBroon Definitely a virtue, Maw, and I say that knowing I have sometimes failed. I feel for you with your older ladies, I used to ferry around several ladies some 10 to 20 years older than I. Usually they were extremely punctual but at least one simply could not be on time.
I think it might even be a mild mental condition of not being able to organise oneself and give enough time to getting ready etc. Some people just never get it, others are good at it. I have no idea why this is. But when you are going somewhere with other people it is extremely selfish to keep them waiting.
However, if someone is late, say to get back to a coach on a holiday tour, I never say anything rude or do anything horrible like sing "O why are we waiting?" Certainly not on the first occasion. This is because of two experiences of my own. One was having a tummy upset and not being able to get away from the loo for ages. That was on a coach holiday. The other was at school, where I was never deliberately late for lessons. I had just gone to the loo, discovered a period had come early, and had to go the length of the school to my PE bag in the Girls' cloakroom for a pad. When I eventually arrived in the Biology lab for the lesson the teacher spent the whole double lesson picking on me and making me answer everything and come to the front to do things. I was shy and worried about a stain on my skirt. It was a co-ed grammar school. He had not let me explain discreetly.
So I don't moan at people the first time they are late!

I have always had a bit of anxiety about being late and of course as a driver we know only too well how a journey can be held up. As a result I tend to leave very early. I just take a book to read!
I did go on a holiday in Egypt where we toured and used coaches to see all the amazing things there. There was a terrible woman in our group, exceptionally bad. She kept us waiting every time, up to over half an hour and sometimes it was critical as we were travelling to the boat to go on the Nile. Eventually our lovely Tour Guide started teaching us that the time she gave for assembling at the coach had to have 40 minutes added to it but we must not tell this woman!

paddyann. Ref brides being late. I sing in our church choir, and very rarely are brides more than a few minutes late. The last 'late arrival' was caused, apparently, by their 3 year old daughter 'throwing a paddy,' and refusing to put on her bridesmaid's dress.
The one before that had been warned that our organist had another engagement, and couldn't be late. She arrived half an hour overdue, then spent time having photographs taken before she came in. It should have come as no surprise to her that the last hymn was unaccompanied, and they walked out of the church, as man and wife, to a deathly silence instead of the wedding march.
Personally I have always made sure to be on time. The one exception was for a U3A day trip, the morning after the clocks were put forward. I had somehow forgotten, and was just finishing my breakfast when I got a phone call. "Where are you? We are all on the coach, waiting for you!" Luckily I was only a few minutes away, but they never let me live it down.

I am always early and often have to wait for people, but rather that than be rushing about on the last minute.My Nurse training taught me to always be on time having to report "on Duty" to the ward Sister then reporting "off duty" at the end of a shift.
I cant stand people being late.

Mawbroon Not a virtue but to be aware or have the sense to know ' as human beings' that there could be something or someone? to disrupt any plans we make..Considering the circumstances surrounding your day out your awareness, nothing to do with age or virtue, certainly paid off.