The most annoying phrases heard in your house!

Ooh, yes, Deedaa. Are we sharing a spouse? On the odd occasion that I do ask and nothing happens, I've dared to enquire, "when are you going to ....?" and the reply is always , "Soon". If I had £5 for every time I've heard that word, I could afford to divorce him!!

...points to dog eared, coffee (I hope) stained and fag ash speckled paperback book or one of his (weird) board games which has burst out of the box and pieces have, cough, been vacuumed up gone missing and says 'it's a collectors item"

One I hear a lot is "Why didn't you ask me?" I didn't ask because it avoids all the stress of waiting for it not to be done!!!

An X boyfriend who had a mantra,'it's just my idea but !!'. As he is 17 years younger than me and it was usually something to do with cooking or housework, it really p****d me off.
The relationship did not work out, I wonder why??????

I used to say " if it had horns it would poke you " when looking for something----which would have been right under his nose anyway.

Carolina55 and Beechnut Exactly how things go in my house. Lost count of the number of times I hear "we've got no...." when it's right in front of him in the cupboard. A 'boys look' is like not looking at all.

Lilyflower Perhaps you should start saying the same about him!

'I am keeping it because it might come in handy.' Forty years later...

Before I divorced mine I heard most of the above. Another which amused DDs and me was 'It just sheared off in my hand' when using or assembling something without reading the instructions. That is why it was me who ended up doing everything if I wanted it done properly. Crafty wasn't he?

I used to refer to my late husband as " Mr Gonna-do " . I did threaten to leave an inscription on his stone:
" He lay beneath the stars and basked beneath the sun. He lived a life of " going to do " and died with nothing done".

Everytime my OH's family come to stay, he says "Don't bothering clearing up. T won't mind" and every time I have to explain to him that having 2 adults (1 disabled) and 2 teenagers in our modest semi is a lot easier if the house has been spruced up and tidied before they come.

Ha ha ha!!! About 99 percent of these heard in our house on a regular basis. I'm sure it's a man thing...

I was going to ................ Definitely the worst.

From mother-in-law and now husband
I suffer from that pain - but I don't complain.
Grrr

40 years ago when we were first married, I tried to discuss division of housework. Silly me, his reply was”Housework is a bourgeois concept!”
Last week he said, as I was about to start hoovering rather late in the afternoon “Don’t do that now ... do it tomorrow!
I thought at first he was at last going to do it.

My friend when visiting:
“Don’t worry about the washing up - you can do it tomorrow”
Me: “I thought for a moment you were going to offer!”
Him: “ But ... you haven’t got a dishwasher!”

I can actually top it, although it's not for those of a delicate nature!

A few years ago we had friends staying (luckily, very good and easy going friends) Mr P was having to leave very early for work, and one of the cats we had at the time (now buried in the garden) had got a bit (ahem) haphazard with regard to toilet arrangements

Mr P had encountered a deposit in the hall, and before leaving had very helpfully written a notice in large letters in black marker pen saying "Cat poo, beware!" with an arrow on it and sellotaped it to the hall table!

Muuuummmm is this ours?? Referring to Something in the fridge or cupboard..... No it's next doors would be my reply ?Of course it's b#%*dy ours! ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I can't stop laughing at Phoenix's last paragraph about the cat vomit. Perhaps I am being unkind.

*he'd ask how much longer

My DH always used to talk to me while I was vacuuming. So I'd switch it off to ask him what he'd said. Eventually he'd how much longer is it going to take.
"It'll take all bl**dy day if you don't stop interrupting me!!!"

Ye Gods, I am so pleased I live alone, I would be up for murder, how do you put up with it.

He's in the living room, watching tv.
I'm in the kitchen, 2 rooms and 3 brick walls away, making a meal. Cooker and extractor fan both going full blast.
He shouts from the living room, "Chewbacca, have you seen this?"

No, I haven't seen it because I can't see through 3 brick walls. It happens Every. Single. Night.

"This b****y thing isn't working", when what he means is "I must have done something wrong (again). I hear it several times a day in relation to some appliance / gadget or another!