Well meaning friend

I'm with you 123kitty. I'm not sure why this man is 'a stray old man'? Men can be just a good friend as a woman.

Hahaha. I wish one of my friends would do this for me.

Have a laugh and explain to the potential boyfriend how you've both been set up by your friend. Tell him you're not looking for a partner, but a new friend who shares common interests is always welcome. Don't be embarrassed, enjoy yourself.

You're not looking for a man. That's all there is to it.
Go along to her invitations confident that you know your own mind and enjoy yourself.

It won't matter the number of men she invites because they are of no interest to you and you'll make that clear to her and the man while you are at the dinner/occasion. Politely but firmly.

Be nice to the man but make the impression that you are bemused should anyone think you're in need of "courting".

At least some gives a damn about you.

My elder brother,82,is the "spare"man in similar circumstances,but does enjoy being with different people,nothing romantically biased,but just "friends",he usually jokes and laughs with the ladies,and they seem to enjoy his company,gives him a twinkle in the eye,so just take it as face value,and enjoy the company,but you can make it quite clear you are not looking for a relationship,and ask friend to invite one or two others to make a little group,or as others have suggested, invite them to yours ,I'm sure the spare man would also be relieved not to have the situation so pressurised

Social gatherings with a friend/s are the way to go then you can either stick with it or slide away if it doesn't suit. That way nobody feels under an obligation and no excuses are necessary. Nobody likes being put on the spot in any situation.

Well, if she asks again could you say 'oh no, that's far too much trouble for you, let's have lunch out instead'. If she contrives to bring someone, well so could you, and it's less embarrassing in a crowded place. I wonder if the gentleman had been pre-warned about her matchmaking? Presumably he thought dinner was a twosome with your friend.

Why not just look on the stray man as a potential friend? The more the merrier if you are a bit lonely surely?

Is she single, would it work if you turned the tables on her, in that would she be embarrassed or quite the opposite! I think honesty is the best policy here and you tell her if she invites a male singleton again, then you will just turn around and go home, that you don't want to lose her friendship but nor do you want to be forever paraded in front of a single man in the hopes of getting fixed up.

It's nice of your friend to think of you but why not (with tact) announce at these dinners that you enjoy the theatre/cinema/gardening or whatever but state clearly and cheerfully that you have no interest in finding a romantic partner? In the right tone of voice with a smile it needn't be an embarrassment.

I do see what's wrong in a gentleman being asked for dinner at the same time. It might make for interesting conversation and it could lead to something more, even if it's a companion to go to films, theatre, or dinner with. I think it's great to widen your circle of friends and if they happen to be male ones, so what?

You are lucky to have a close friend you've known for so many years who clearly cares about you. However, it does seem you may need to reiterate to her that you don't want anything to spoil your friendship, you appreciate that she cares about you, but you will not accept future invitations to dinner if it turns out she has invited another single man this next time. Maybe you could join a new group together, such as those run by U3A as suggested by others - if you're not familiar with them, they often have various interest groups from family history, to photography, to conversational French and beyond. Annual fee just £20 I think. www.u3a.org.uk/
Good luck.

Never say never ?? Could be interesting ?if its a different man at every dinner but it can get to the point of annoying and for you it seems enough is enough so you must explain its her meals and her company alone you enjoy not a matchmaking event.

Could you take your friend out for a (daytime) coffee - just the two of you? And have a serious and honest talk about your feelings of loneliness? It would give you the opportunity to explain that you're not looking for a man. If you are to continue your friendship, it sounds as though she needs to understand this. I learned a useful phrase for serious conversations, it's this: "please can I make this very clear, so that there can be no misunderstanding...." It's worked for me, on various occasions.

I would accept gladly and then have a very jokey relationship with Mr 'prospective' on the reason we've been paired up and hopefully a fun evening. I'm very up for new acquaintances and certainly not romantic ones but.... I certainly wasn't 'looking' when I met my husband. We had a short liaison and then bumped into each other seven years later and bingo! Enjoyment is the name of my game these days and people of both sexes sure play a major part in that.

I enjoy meeting new people, male or female but matchmaking , not on, I like male company but am happy living on my own why should I want another mate who I could end up caring for , I had a very happy 3rd marriage, not going for no 4.

Let your friend try her "introductions", you may find a nice friend. Seek out groups where you can find like minded people or look for Meet Up Groups in your area, no pressure but I've made lots of new friends

You could always ask to bring your own “ plus one” and bring a female friend

Henetha’s idea is a good one, but, sadly, I think it will only get you through one dinner as she will probably see it as an alternating arrangement; ie she will do the next one, you the one after and so on. You need to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand and turns to tears and more awkwardness. Honesty is the best policy here; if she is a true friend she will completely understand if you explain that you would rather do this at your own pace with men of your choosing not hers. Obviously, tact is required when you tell her, but I’m sure you can do it. Best of British, and best wishes from an Englishman in the Colonies.

Obviously your friend means well, and many people don’t understand that we don’t all want a man in our life. But yes, make a joke of it and just enjoy the company and a good laugh together. Remember many people are very lonely within their marriages, so it’s not always the answer. I’m blessed with many friends, a lovely big family and go on lots of singles holidays ... I love my freedom.

It a way of meeting new people, you might get a lovely friendship out of it, don't see it as a match making evening but a way of gaining new friends.

I’m with GrandmaKT on this one, why be embarrassed? Laugh it off and enjoy a nice meal with old friends and a potential new friend. In this day and age, we can surely laugh about it? It’s a bit old fashioned to have to view any single person as a potential mate isn’t it? But it might be good to have a circle of friends.

My friend has a habit of trying to "fix" people. She takes it on herself to make things right - she is a lovely lady and always means well and I love her for it. I have known her since we were teenagers and have told her that if she tries her match making again I will put pictures of her in her teenage years on Facebook - I think that may stop her!!

Did your friend actually admit that she was trying to "fix you up" with her gent friend?
She may just be trying to introduce you to some of her friends to help with your loneliness.
If the gentleman was also embarrassed, it sounds as if he isn't looking for a relationship either and could maybe be a potential friend?

I suspect that your friend meant well. Actually, I do know someone who met her husband in such circumstances.

I agree with other posters who suggest that you do the inviting so that you are in control.

If you prefer, ask her to go with you somewhere such as cinema or theatre or out for the day.