Felt a bit guilty this afternoon.

Jalimal108
Quote A bit! of benign neglect never went amiss.?At what age in your view should this benign neglect apply. ?

So, Felice, in that case why did you say that you "felt really guilty" by wanting to "relax" while your DGS was in your care?
Even if we are not physically interacting with our charges we owe it to them and their parents to be watchful and alert and you cannot do that with a book in your hand.
Your comments to people who have taken the trouble to respond to your post are unwarranted.

Sorry, reading a book is a no no in my book. As a grandparent I feel l have to be extra vigilant as like someone else said I’m not as fast as l was. Sensible, whatever a child has been taught comes with age!
We do bring our children up “properly “ here in the U.K. too!
Not quite sure what sort of responses you were expecting Felice.

Interesting. ........... last

Am s bit confused. I thought you said you were in Parc Royale?
I assumed you meant the area in the UK, as, I think, did other people here.
Please don’t post and then get cross - people express their opinions in response to your post but accusing us of talking twaddle is not v nice, in my opinion.
I was finding the post interedting upt to your ladt comment

I would have let him play at a safe distance but reading a book is a not an option he was in your care if you saw a child minder or nanny who was reading a book I dare say like many others you would be pointing the finger the fact he is your DGC is no different

Ummm not sure where Park Royal or Hanger Lane is.
We are in Brussels,,,,,
You obviously have never been to this gated Parc I am talking about, or you wouldn't talk such twaddle.
I think that on this site some people just need to critisise and nitpick no matter what.
DGS is sensible enough to not 'walk' off with a stranger, you do not know him so be quiet.
Do not assume every child is the same as your own, or is taught the same rules.
We are a bit old fashioned here, and children are taught for a very young age to be sensible.
No do not say I do not know that, I do, you do not.

Yes op, I agree with those that say ditch the paper, you do need to keep watch over him, despite it being a safe enclosed park. IMO it much more fun watching my grandchildren playing happily than reading anyway.

Glad I'm not the only one seeing danger here. I let the gc go off and make friends and play and I even stay back if a bit of a tiff starts to see how they handle it but I would never take a book or get my phone out , only to take a photo .
Did anyone see the social experiment done for tv on a kids park/playground where a man acted the part of a predator while parents were on phones etc.
The amount of children that went off with this man to see some puppies was shocking.

Like Craicon I would dismiss any idea of reading a book as my DGS safety would be at the forefront of my mind. It is good he got on well with another child and children should be encouraged to do this and you needed to participate in this but please leave your book to such a time when DGS welfare is not your priority.

I don't think you should interact with your DGS all the time, you should let him play unless he needs your help or is doing something unsafe. However you shouldn't be reading a book, you should be watching him from a distance the whole time!

I don’t think sitting reading a book is a good idea if your DGS is still young enough for playgrounds. Children spot things and run so quickly, he could have run off with his new friend and you wouldn’t have been any the wiser.
I’m always far more cautious watching grandchildren. I can’t run quite as fast as I used to!

I'd probably do something in the middle here: sit on the bench without interacting (so that he can develop some independence) but keep an eye on him rather than read. That way you can intervene quickly if he begins to do something dangerous or if he starts causing problems for his little friend, and you won't be accused of lack of supervision.

A bit of benign neglect never went amiss.
Thank goodness!

I witnessed helicopter parenting when my DC were young and it doesn't help the children in the long-term to grow in confidence and make their own way in the world.

Camelotclub I have to pick you up on that!Hanger Hill Park is just up the road, a very nice little park.

I didn't know there were any parks in Park Royal. Only the Hanger Lane intersection!

Anyone could of chatted to your gc and walked off with him without you noticing a thing.
They did one of those annoying social experiments where a parent was on the phone or not concentrating. a stranger asked the child to help look for their lost puppy and off they went.
It makes your blood run cold

I think some parents worry too much about interacting all the time nowadays in case they are being neglectful. I tried to have a balance. Children enjoy playing with other children alone.

You were allowing him to develop essential skills.we take 2 of our gc camping to Cornwall in the summer,traditional campsite with just a fantastic wooden play area,all the children gather every night end make up loads of games to play,no roads ECT so they get to run all round the site,only stipulation is when you hear grandads whistle you come back.kids love it and the independence they get.

Yes Pamela, he is an only child so very important, he is quite funny actually. The first think he does in a parc is to check out the other children boys and girls and see who looks friend material.

Your DGS was developing his social skills. So invaluable to avoid loneliness in the future.
Just to say we went to the theatre yesterday afternoon. In the row in front 8 young people were on their phones. ( before the play started!) All in a row.

No Belguim, but I think a lot is to do with the school system here. Parents are actively encouraged to work. Children can enter school Maternalle from 2.5 years old.
It is free and usually attached to the Primary school the child will enter at 6.
You can send even very small children from 7.30am to 18.30pm.
DGS just went to the normal day maternalle from 3.5 years.
So maybye it is the other parents feeling guilty.
Still he had a lovely afternoon, and the little boy he met was really nice. His family are re-locating to Liverpool in December, with his Fathers job. They all speak perfect English. They have been in Saudi for 1 year and his Mother said it has been very challenging !!!!!! She said a lot more but will not repeat it on here.
Quite a few helicopters in evidence I swear one young man was growling at any child who came within a metre of his children. Not the best way to let them make friends.

lol Dora Marr - I thought my mother made that one up - she always told me DD would benefit from a bit of 'benign neglect'.
felice, you did the right thing - he had made a friend already.
I can't believe you can be in the UK though - the scene you describe is unimaginable ?

A bit of benign neglect never went amiss.

As an adult, no matter how you try, you can never totally enter into a child’s world of play.

I’m with Jalima, they were having a good time. An adult trying to joinin would have changed it all.

There is such a thing as too much adult interaction.
At school, with five minutes to dinner time, I said to a small boy “ Why don’t you go and look at a book?”
His reply?
“I can’t. I don’t have a grown-up with me.”