“Wives create their husbands”

I loved that book and others by NW

My mother's cynical comment on this topic was that a lot of women fall in love with a man, and, as soon as they are married start changing him. When he no longer resembles the man they fell in love with, they either turn into bitter old women, or divorce hubby.

I suspect a lot of men probably would have agreed with her point of view.

Polly48 Absolutely no chance for me! He was a bully. A covert narcissist, cruel and manipulative.
My mother probably tried to manipulate my dad, she was always giving him a hard time and making him work himself to death for her.

Wives can create and improve husbands although she had better start with a good one, that will depend on his parents.

There is a lot of truth in the saying that women turn out like their mother, men turn out like their father. So if your man was brought up in a chaotic, aggressive household he will think that is normal behavior.

What's wrong with sexism anyway?

My DH is so stubborn I have never been able to train him. Even if I complain about the toilet seat etc he does nothing about it. I have to use certain techniques to get him to do anything I want so I choose my battles wisely. We have been married 50 years this year so nothing it going to change.

All these posts about unhelpful husbands, I must be so lucky.
My husbands Mother died when we was 16 & had to learn fast how to look after himself & do housework etc.
Not so lucky for him at the time, he must have been so sad.
As a result for over 50 years we have shared all the jobs, housework, cooking & so on.

Grandad1943 my OH is the tidiest worker you could ever hope to meet ,he clears his desk before starting on the next job.ME,I work in a muddle but I get things done and done fast when needed.We realise we have different strengths and I believe thats the secret to a good marriage ,I would never criticise his way nor him mine.I have NEVER nagged him,he'll happily tell you that.He will also tell you our daughter nagged him from she learned to talk .She didn't learn it from me !

FHS, Grandad, you see sexism round every corner and would appear to have a chip on your shoulder about it!!
Posts on here are practically without exception tongue in cheek comments from loving wives and partners, who wouldn't swap their untidy, door leaving open husbands for all the world! It's just banter, a bit of fun, women have talked about their partners in this way since time began, men almost always don't mind, mine certainly doesn't! He knows he's the untidiest man in all England, but he cooks, and helps in so many ways on the domestic front as I do in the garden etc, and yes we've been very happily married for 54 years and love each other dearly, warts and all!!

So, men are the only one's that leave doors open etc, that correct PamelaJ1.

Statements such as the above are TOTAL SEXISM.

Read them again, don’t agree with you grandad.

I get the impression from most posters that they seem to agree that we train each other. Not sexism, but I’ll read them again.

If anything, my sons have 'taught' their wives. They were well versed in clothing and shoe cleaning/care and all aspects of housework before they left home. Give them the tools and they will do the job well.

Jalima1108, the book may have been written " tongue-in-cheek", but take a look at some of the posts in this thread as obviously they are not.

Total and absolute sexism by some which demonstrate more about them than the husbands and partners they post about.

Grandad the book was written by a man, the excerpt tongue in cheek

WRONG...... MOTHERS make their boys into future husbands.No amount of training has been able to undo the trail of damage my MIL passed on to me in the shape of her son ...my other half. He started a disaster and remains a disaster!

looploo - Is this a new way of " let's blame the woman"^
I think you may have hit the nail on the head!

His faults will be all my fault for not 'training him' properly
If he is now faultless, then I have been a nag.


We can't win

Totally agree. Oversimplistic . It's a two way relationship and I am not going to held responsible for my DH . Is this a new way of " let's blame the woman".

Shortlegs quote [If this thread was posted by a man discussing how to "train" a wife I can only imagine the hysterical reactions.]End quote.

Exactly Shortlegs, I believe within this thread there are some of the most sexist posts and statements I have ever witnessed on the internet.

Some women obviously consider themselves perfect in every way included in that being a wife or partner.

I wonder?

Load of rubbish.

I am standing up for my' sisters' when I say how about husbands who create their wives. I was created by my DH, not always in his favour and who never could see which side his bread was buttered.It lasted over half century. !

although perhaps the Army could sandelf!

I think maybe mothers have more to do with making the man the boy becomes
I agree to a certain extent but if someone has a genetic pre-disposition towards, say, untidiness, then no amount of maternal training can overcome that.

Lovely thread. My daughter's husband had a pretty difficult childhood - but the army made him - clean tidy considerate reliable

My husband is the same man I married, he is who he is. I ignore his failings as he ignores mine and we also have our own toothpaste and holder as I was fed up with mess he created. I think maybe mothers have more to do with making the man the boy becomes