For those needing a smile ??

Lord Birkenhead speaking of his friend, Winston Churchill...

“Winston has spent the best years of his life writing impromptu speeches.”

Busy weekend, catching up with this late. Thanks Maw I've had a good old giggle over some of these. I saw a similar list on FB a while back, but several of these were new to me. Love so many of them, but 2, 3 and 12 particularly appealed to me

A few more:

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

Thanks, Maw, a great thread!

I've always liked this one from Dolly Parton...

"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."

Very funny. Thanks Maw
House guests are like fish. After 3 days they begin to stink.
I realise that isn't the same but its what I thought of.

Made me smile. Thank you. Read them to OH who laughed and will no doubt use them in future and claim them as his own. ☺

Really enjoyed them maw thanks ?

A tomato is actually a "false fruit", known as a drupe one of the few things that I remember from school biology lessons

Funny how not many people know that a tomato is a fruit,and it does go in a salad
Quote number 5

Brilliant it really made me laugh and I have forwarded this email to a few friends so they can enjoy it too. Thank you Mawbroon.

Love number 16 but in fairness I tittered at all of them.thank you.

‘Where there’s a will there’s a relative’. Love that one.

In the same vein (vane?) - I recently read this:
There are only 3 truthful things in life
Small children, drunks and leggings ……

Love them, 3, 9 and 16 are filed in my handbag for later use.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ...
Winston Churchill

I particularly liked number 10 too.

Really enjoyed, thank you. My favourite was No. 16.

Loved the Winston Churchill example Apricity

Apologies if it’s already been done but how about ...

^I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas
Quite how it got in there I’ll never know ^

Groucho Marx

conni you used a capital S.

Maw thanks really cheered me up.

Love it have had a chuckle!

I enjoyed them all, thank you, and since I can't pronounce the word either I'm off to find the double gin in the hope that either it will make it easier to say or put me in the frame of mind where I don't care that a word has beaten me!

Love number 16!!

Why doesn't the smiley appear?

Thanks for the good laugh. It made my day! [Smile]

I love this one, heard a long time ago from the mouth of Arthur Daley on that great show "Minder"....And mark my words, Terry, what I always say is 'a friend in need is a pest ' " !

Love them have saved them to look at again! Thank you Maw!