Things that you wish you had done in your 40s and 50s.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d done things differently, but I think there’s no point in regret.
No one deliberately makes a bad choice - we mostly just do what seems to be the right thing at that particular time in our lives.
I came across this article a few days ago which might help anyone suffering regret.
Don’t be put off by the hyperlink, it’s more about forgiving yourself for what you think are mistakes you’d made in the past and how people act from an instinct of self-preservation.
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-we/201402/bargaining-your-past-creates-regret-in-the-present%3famp

I know it sounds daft but I would have loved another baby in my early 40s,
I had always wished for 4 children but it never happened.
We had the chance of buying a house 8 miles outside of Hexham when I was mid 40s and we changed our minds at the last minute I always wonder how our lives would have panned out if we had made the move as I love the area so much.

No regrets - it was a wonderful time of my life - married my second husband, got a degree via the Open University, changed into a rewarding career. Still had my daughter at home. Glad I didn't realise how awful empty nest syndrome is - despite being so busy and with lots of friends, hobbies and a lovely husband, and a good relationship with my daughter, I still miss not seeing her as often.

I do at times, not often, wonder how different things might have been if I had accepted a marriage proposal when I was 40, perhaps it would have been miserable , perhaps my life wouldn’t have been so centred around my two daughters and I wouldn’t have experienced much loneliness, yet I quite possibly wouldn’t have had such a close bond with my girls. I think I made the right decision , my life may have been easier, it may have been even more difficult. I have only had these thoughts since my darling daughter died.

Nothing at all. I just take life as it comes and do not deal in 'if only's. I am sure there might be some if I was put through third degree interrogation, but my mind doesn't work that way.

I wish I'd had the money to get qualifications for the job I was doing.

Wish I had left my husband sooner than I did. Better late than never and I am happy now but don't have the money to do the travel I wish I could still do. However the peace of mind is priceless.

Wish we had travelled to a few exotic places instead of always the safe European option but we were financing our children through university etc. Now we are trying to make up for lost time but are in our (very early) 70s and not as fit as we were. Could do with short flights and not too much walking/climbing and a bit of relaxation...have done it all the wrong way round, but hope to get to India in the new year. Watch this space.

I did leave my husband and spent 10 years on my own. Whilst I do not regret leaving the marital home and starting again I wish I had been a bit more adventurous. I could have travelled, moved from the town, changed jobs but I didn't. Now I will never know what might have been, a sliding doors time for me.

I honestly don't think I have regrets from that age, I've always tried to see the positive in everything I've done although when I was twenty I wanted to go and see my favourite racehorse run at Folkestone who eventually I owned but I chose to watch my boyfriend (later husband) play cricket and yet he didn't really care but my horse won and I really wish I had gone to Folkestone

I'm 69 now - I wish I'd left my ex husband in my 40's instead of limping along into my 50's. I was such a doormat ! Better late than never they say, but I wish I'd had the nerve to give myself the gift of freedom 10 years earlier than I did.

I wish I 'd divorced my husband and then gone to have 12 happy years with a kind intelligent man - holidays, theatre, books.
Ah but I did!
When he began to get needy and became desperate to get married I realised I didn't want that.
Reader, I did not marry him!
He has remained a family friend and is a spare grandad to the wee ones!

I wish I'd continued to go on to get a full counselling qualification. I did well in the first year but the final 2 year course was very expensive and I didn't feel I could commit the amount of time and money needed to counsel and be counselled as I was still working (in a job I hated). Perhaps I should have just bitten the bullet and done it, to hell with the cost.

seacliff and kathsue I sincerely hope you have not let the behaviour of these men continue to hurt you and have now recovered, or are on your way to recovering, your self esteem.

What about you lucasart?

In my early forties I injured my back by lifting something heavy the wrong way. I could have got away with doing the same thing when I was younger but I should not have done that then. I would like to have gone through my forties and fifties free of back pain so my advice is, if you are still that age, and haven't got a slipped disc, be careful how you lift things.

Kathsue, me too!!!

I wish I'd not accumulated so much stuff, but as a working Mum, the home and housework weren't a priority back then. Now, every trip up or down the stairs needs prior planning and tidying up takes ages.

There was a Queen concert I regret not going to. I was 35 or so, the kids were tiny, but ma parents were staying that week. I thought it would be rude to go out, when they had driven halfway across the continent to stay with us. Or rather, I thought they would think it rude, especially to go to a pop concert.

Now I am a Granny, I wouldn't mind if Ds and wife went out when we came to stay, and would love the chance to babysit. In fact we have done that once with each of the DGC - we were forewarned when we visited DS1 and family in America that they were going to a wedding on the Saturday and would be leaving DGS with us, and the others asked us to come for a long weekend as they had no one to babysit when they both went to work on the Friday and the childminder was away.

So perhaps I should have got tickets for that concert. Freddy died the following year.

I wish I'd divorced my husband before he destroyed my self esteem.