Perhaps I just have poor taste....???

I have an over-generous friend who, if I admire something when out and about with her, will sometimes present it to me at a later date.
I've had, amongst other things, a Mont Blanc ink pen plus ink and leather writing instrument pouch and, on another occasion, a heavy stone necklace with ribbon tie. I've never used the pen nor worn the necklace (it's heavy and I'm not a jewellery lover)
Nowadays I say nothing. One can admire something without necessarily coveting it.

Over the years I have received several gifts that were not to my liking, but I always send a letter of thanks. My big problem is that I keep all these gifts in a box, and bring them out when the relevant person is visiting!

I have a massive issue with people not acknowledging gifts, no matter what age they are. My nephew’s children never acknowledge Christmas and birthday presents and there’s not even a text from their parents.

As a result, I put very little thought into their gifts (which have to be posted anyway, adding to the cost) and I’m thinking I’ll stop altogether, considering that they clearly don’t appreciate the gesture.

I gave a sampler as a wedding present and some while later was informed that it was hung in the loo. I spent hours sewing it. It’s probably in the bin now as they are bitterly divorced. My partners grandad was given a stitched card with a hurricane plane on. He instantly told me something wasn’t right and he never received any other stitched item from me again. When he died years later. I found out he had kept the card by his bed. I felt bad about it then. If only people thought before they opened their mouths, by we are all guilty of that. I rarely stitch gifts for people now

Happy Birthday, Katiekrunch

I have a sister who I don't really get on with, we don't live that far away but we never see each other, a couple of years ago she interfered in something my family was doing, my son asked her politely to butt out but she didn't stop so I phoned her and let rip, told her to mind her own business we didn't want her interference. months later she moved house and also had a birthday about that time, so I decided to send bouquet of flowers to her. The flowers were delivered on a Monday, so on the Tuesday I called her to ask had she received them, the first words out of her mouth were 'you are lucky I was in, I usually go out in the mornings', I said 'Oh you did receive them then', she stuttered a bit and said 'yes they just arrived', when I knew she had received them the day before. I now have nothing more to do with her, since sending those flowers and my phone call I have not heard a word from her in over a year, so have decided I will not send any more cards for Xmas or birthdays.

I love the BloomnWild flowers and was worried they wouldn't fit my letterbox but postie agreed to put them on the bench outside the front door if I wasn't in. I cured nephew and niece of not thanking for presents by sending them a tree planted somewhere else and they got the map reference. I felt less aggrieved for their bad manners and our forests benefitted.

I was sent "Letterbox" flowers but they did not go through my letterbox and were dead by the time I collected them from the depot. It was a significant birthday and a gift from my grandson. There was then the long hassle to get a refund etc. All letterboxes are not the same.

Maybe some just don't know how they come across? Christmas and big birthday, I went to a lot of trouble for someone, and barely got a response. I won't bother so much next time.

Kateykrunch couldn't find a big cake so perhaps several small ones will do Happy birthday

My dad was like that Chewbacca, wouldn’t open presents. He’d feel it and say it’s a shirt (or whatever) I have loads of them and throw it on the floor, - but if you didn’t get him anything, well, then a big sulk!

We all have too much stuff. I guess the best presents would be i.e. Flowers, chocolates, restaurant vouchers etc. Things that will not have to add to yet more "stuff". Having said that my generation always (well my family does) say thank you, more by text these days than letter or phone call. The world has changed so much, and sadly letters rarely sent to say thank you. But I will still go on giving gifts/cards etc. As it is my nature to do so, regardless if I get a reply or not. (Well for a few more years maybe)

Really don't give a fig about thanks but, unfortunately, it is usually the only evidence of receipt I have when a third party is involved. Reading a previous post on inaccurate deliveries accentuates this concern. I find this also enters my head when I do a simple transfer of cash. I have minus faith in banks. I never ask if a gift has been received so guess I'll simply have to live in hope. Certainly wouldn't stop me giving again if I wanted to.

It hurts when the recipient of the gift doesn't appreciate the thought you've put into choosing it, doesn't it? So many times over the years, I've spent time and money choosing gifts for my mother's birthdays, Christmas or mother's day presents, only for her to turn her nose up at them. Sometimes she wouldn't even open them! But the time she refused to open the birthday present from her 5 year old GS, my DS, was the last gift she ever got from us. I've made sure I'm never the same with my GC.

I have a nephew I've hardly ever seen and have sent him cheques for b'day and Christmas for the last 21 yrs and have never rec'vd a thank you from him or his parents. Continued until he reached 21 to make him the same as other nieces and nephews but no more.

I agree with BuffyBee. I'd try to assure myself there was no reason (illness, great busyness etc) why your gift has not been acknowledged, but if no reason found - make sure no further gifts are set. There is a difference between being nice and being a mug.

Ah, Apricity you had moved on! Sorry.
Never have that problem with the littlest!

I think Apricity is quite right sadly. Too much, too soon. Oh well. At least we appreciate thoughtfulness in others.

Mawbroon, thank you, yes loads of flowers, so a toast is very acceptable, now about that cake! x

I was thinking more of gifts to younger family members. ?

Maybe a sore point but I do wonder if some Grans are just trying too hard and then feeling hurt if their efforts are not sufficiently acknowledged and appreciated

What do you mean Apricity?
Flowers for a 70 th birthday ?

Maybe a sore point but I do wonder if some Grans are just trying too hard and then feeling hurt if their efforts are not sufficiently acknowledged and appreciated.

Yes, I do understand and totally agree about common courtesy but is it, as some other posters have suggested, that these days people have so much more "stuff" that some of these gifts etc are no longer seen as "special" in the way they might once have been viewed?

When we were younger gifts were a really big deal and treated as such but I don't think that is the case anymore. Perhaps the hurt is caused by the mismatch between the expectation of even a bit of appreciation and the reality? You can't change other people's behaviour but you can change your own and how you view things. Maybe fewer "things" and money or cheques and more personal attention, home cooked meals, conversation and listening?

Bah humbug, birthdays. Am I being unreasonable. On my birthday last month other half didn’t say happy birthday to me and didn’t get me a present but he did give me a card. A card that I had actually bought and stored away for later use. Okay, it’s his birthday in a couple of days and there is something in me because I felt hurt to not say happy birthday to him and not give a present. The reality is I’ve got him loads of presents. Am I being incredibly juvenile. Should I make his birthday really nice to make him feel a bit guilty? It’s like this every year and it’s really getting me down now

Granny, they are lovely, thank you so much, very much appreciated x