People who speak one day and not the next!

Yes sometimes am guilty of this myself if in a hurry or have something on my mind! Don’t worry - it’s them not you?

This is a very useful thread. Thank you MissAdventure. Its comforting to know that others have similar problems and that we are inclined to worry a little about social interaction (although as I say I am too old to waste the time now) I do think I will try to say a quick hello to people in future even if I don't want a long chat.

DD discovered that a school gate mum thought to be standoffish and rude was actually deaf!

Yes, that's very true, but its just disconcerting to be all ready with a cheery "hello" and to be met with what seems to be a snub.

As someone said There's nowt so queer as folk. I think many of us don't always feel the same from day to day and you never know what someone has on their mind. Which accounts for some of being ignored. Sometimes I want to chat and sometimes I don't. I have M.E. which makes it very tiring to chat at times too. So there may be a good reason like this for someone not speaking to you. I also have face blindness like Maggiemaybe. I find the best way to cope is to walk with my head down a bit so I can't be accused of ignoring folk. I do think being ignored does make us wonder is it personal. Do they not like me. We all ( well most of us) have this great need to be liked and approved of. But not everyone is going to like us. There are people I don't particularly like. I don't dislike them but they're just not folk I want to spend time on. As I get older I tend to not care if people ignore me. So what? I don't actually need everyone to like me. Neither do you.

Just to clarify my previous post, I would always acknowledge someone, just not engage in a prolonged chat/discussion.

I hope in hindsight that I have never appeared rude, and reading this thread I will try harder on my bad/not so good days.

My next door neighbour does this. We've lived next to her for 27 years and it has never changed. If she needs a favour she's very friendly and smiley but otherwise will pretend not to have seen me, or will look at the floor. Used to annoy the hell out of me, but now I just put it down to social anxiety (or plain ignorance!) Her loss

I usually have a good memory for faces but lately sometimes have diffuculty with names. One lady who I had met a couple of times decided to come to the local coffee morning with her husband. I had just walked in to the hall and the sun shining through the window momentarily blinded me just as she came up and said hello. I didnt respond immediately so she thought I had recognised her and said her name. We are now very good friends. Usually we drive away from our house so we just wave to anyone we see. The Portuguese are great starers. 0ne old lady locally will just nod her head in acknowledgement of me but if it's my husband he gets the full toothy smile. What I like here is if you are in the doctor's waiting room or in a shop and someone walks in they say good morning (bom dia) or good afternoon (boa tarde) to everyone. The younger generation don't seem to be doing it though.

If people ignore a cheerful 'Good morning' it's their problem, not yours so don't take it to heart. Sometimes, if you don't know them, their face lights up with pleasure.

Sometimes I'll chat with the people I know. In a hurry I just greet people without stopping. If I'm deep in thought I may not occasionally fail to notice anyone around me so would, effectively but unconsciously, ignore them.

Yes I know lots of these type of people and cannot be bothered with them either

My immediate neighbours are like this - it worried me so much at first because I couldn’t think what I’d done. Now I just speak if they speak and don’t if the don’t.
It used to happen where I worked and when I mentioned it to another colleague she said that she just made them acknowledge her by going round and passing the time of day with everyone. I did the same and after initial surprise they all responded. I had to do it every time though!

If I see someone coming and I can't stop to speak (or don't want to) I make hand signals and sorry faces, just so they know I'm not being a misery.

I can't be bothered with people like that, it's their loss not mine if they don't want to speak. I do have a habit of wandering around in my own little world but am aware of people approaching me & do acknowledge them

This behaviour does seem strange but I have come to realise that it is them and not me, as GrannyGravy has said. A woman I know quite well will sometimes greet me with a big hug and we will chat quite normally; at other times she is quite cool and will just acknowledge me. I have come to realise that she is anxious about her job and can get preoccupied about it to the point of obsession.

As GrannyGravy said it is more about them than you. I know myself that sometimes I have time for a chat and at other times not. Sometimes I feel happy and outgoing but at others I just want to keep my head down and be ignored. Don't let it upset you we are not all the same every day.

I've known a few people like that. Crossed the road when they have been coming up on the same side of the street. The same ladies looking the other way and yet if they want to know anything or they had a bit of gossip they would come over and talk for ages. I got in the end if they ignored me, I also ignored them. All deceased now. On the other hand, quite a while ago I was going into a shop and a lady about my age came out and was so happy to see me and said hello and how was I and I haven't a clue who she was although her face seemed familiar. I beamed a smile back to her and asked how she was. I have seen her twice since and the same has happened. She speaks as though I'm a close friend and I haven't the heart now to ask who she is and how she knows me.

Yes, our next door neighbour. As others have said it's either being completely ignored or chatting for ages. Very strange.

I have a visual memory problem and don't recognise people,places etc. So unless someone speaks to me I will walk straight past them. Makes me seem v standoffish and so have few friends because of this. My auditory memory is excellent so if they speak I know who they are. Also takes days learning my way around stores, offices etc so I appear a bit dim or strange lol. Had a RTA with a head injury at 13yrs so that caused it but the rest of my memory is v good normal physically and mentally. Perhaps not everyone is deliberately ignoring you.

I talk to anyone and always have.
One of my AC tells me that only 'old people' talk to people they don't really know, yet I clearly remember when I was in my 40s, AC taking me to meet a work colleague who lived near him. The friend was making bacon 'butties' and I asked for brown sauce on mine (he hadn't offered food) but we chatted about his job (I accidentally just typed '*nob*' ) while he made the sandwich. When we left, son crossed his fingers and said 'You're like that' and anyone would think I'd known his mate for years. 'He never talks much so how come he chatted so much to you?' he queried.
I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm interested and ask questions.
Takes all sorts.

Callgirl
One guy he was a builder carrying out some repairs for me and I must have been a good listener, or it may have been my tea and cake, gave me his family history and I learned his mothers age, which I had never divulged, was also my age. Did I need to.? .It was unfortunate for me when on completing one job ready to start the next he informed me he would not be available to carry out further jobs although had let slip any weekend work he could get helped pay toward his mortgage. I don't normally assume but was it just coincidence ? that this followed immediately after his wife had called the weekend before when he was working at my place?

Think progressing up the toad sounds better. But not a very long journey as toads are little!

Sometimes I just do not want to engage with anyone, including husband.

I have had a lot go on in my life/family the last 5 years, and if I am in an introspective state of mind I find it impossible to chat. I keep myself to myself normally end up having a good cry, and give myself a stiff talking to!!!

On a good day, I can chat for ages and notice all and sundry, for this reason I tend to always give others the benefit of the doubt.

I was once told by a neighbour that I was ignorant for walking past in the street without acknowledging her. I am very short-sighted and had had to leave my contact lenses out as I was going for an eye test.

I am so guilty of being out and about and being in my own world and not recognising people I never do it on purpose.

I think some people find it hard to end a conversation, so don’t want to start one. Especially if they want to get where they are going.