Wedding help with Granny

make her a hair appointment in one location and a manicure in another - that should keep her happy and out of the way for a bit?

Good grief! I hope my DDs don't talk about me like that when I get to 88. I hope that your own children never make you feel like a burden to them when you reach that age either.

If, as you suggest, your mum may not be safe to be out and about in an unknown place on her own then you need to be with her or set up a rota of other family members to take turns to chaperone her as she does what she wants to do.

Breakfast is not usually over until 9:00 at a B&B so unlikely that any outing would realistically begin until at least 9:45/10. If she has a lunch at 12:30-1:00 it will then be time to go back to B&B to rest/ get ready. A couple of other family members could share the morning with you so you each have time to do what you are needed for but your mum is not bored or alone!

I would be inclined to re-allocate the chores you had in mind and spend the morning with your mum. Just sitting around waiting half the day is exhausting in itself. At the end of the day though, you can't please everyone!

Is she still able to read? Could you buy her some sort of book or dvd looking back at the days of her youth where she grew up. ? There are lots of books with great historical photos. Amazon pretty good.

For heavens sake! Your mother may be 88, but she is quite capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to go shopping and see the town, why shouldn't she? You do not mention any mental problems that might make this problematic. If she then sleeps through the wedding then that is her problem not yours.

Shame on all those GN members making patronising suggestions about ways to keep her occupied so that she is good and biddable and does exactly what nanny her daughter says as if she was a child.

We don't know enough about the situation to judge. Perhaps the nephew doesn't have a mum and the OP is stepping into the gap ? Maybe grandma doesn't realise she's not as well as she used to be ,to wander around a strange town? Perhaps if she gets overtired she will ruin the whole event ? We don't know

When my sister got married 5 years,ago, aged 60, I spent the morning and part of the afternoon packing my large flat ready to downsize. (Due to a dysfunctional family I'd been excluded froM the arrangements! ).
At the reception, after a stand up arguement with a nephews girlfriend my daughter and I left at 6.30pm. Ì then spent the rest of the evening packing!
Is there a granddaughter or two who could act as escorts to your mother as she goes shopping? Maybe to include several stops for coffee? I'm sure your mother would be quite happy to do her 'shopping' with company who could also make sure that she got home in plenty of time to get ready. Maybe end the shopping trip with a visit to a hairdressers?

You have a 'lot to do'...it's your nephew?
Weird.

If your mother has mental capacity then she should be doing whatever she chooses to do and not what someone else thinks she ought to be doing.
If your mother lacks mental capacity then she shouldn't be left alone in a strange place to do anything and you should think about getting someone else to deputise for you regarding the jobs and stay with her.
Sorry if it sounds harsh but as someone who works in elder care it really is that simple.
I hope the wedding goes well and you all have a lovely time.

I'm sure granny manages to sort her own entertainment out the rest of the year. Let her do what she wants. If she is tired by 8 then book a taxi to take her back to the B&B. Many older people are tired by then anyway. (including me some days)

In our case, one relative had mobility problems and one had Vascular Dementia. The other was pretty much OK apart from being thoroughly cantankerous.
If OP mum is suffering from problems with her memory then her safety could be compromised if she were left alone in a strange town/location. Best to have a companion to support her.

OP you don't say if your 88 year old mother has dementia or merely mobility problems? My mother is 89 and she would be horrified if I suggested she couldn't go and walk about town - any town on her own! She takes a stroller type zimmer thing and off she goes and sits down as and when she wants but she has the capacity to do this.

If she hadn't I would stay with her and let everyone else get on with the wedding preps t.b.h.

As it is a nephews wedding and OP you are not MOB, I think your first responsibility is your elderly mother.
I am rather saddened at the prospect of this elderly lady dumped in the B&B on her own.
There must be some slack in the morning and somebody who cares enough to keep her company.
At DD3’s wedding DH spent the morning in the hotel where we were all staying and both her future FIL and our SIL1 kept him company while the bride, bridesmaids, future MIL and I all had our hair done and dressed.

TBH I think weddings can drag. If the ceremony is in the early afternoon, then there are photos, then the sit- down wedding meal, with speeches, then a lull during which time you realise you have a dull headache from eating late and having one too many glasses of champagne, then there’s a hiatus before the evening guests arrive, during which you make more small talk with someone from you didn’t quite catch where who is related to someone you don’t know, then you have to psyche yourself up for the evening do.....I’m usually ready to call it a day around nine.

Depends on your priorities. Ensuring your mother's well being or helping with wedding preparations. We were faced with a similar situation at my sons wedding. We had 3 relatives all aged over 80. Wedding was at 2pm so my husband and I took them out to lunch then for a scenic drive round Surrey. They enjoyed the wedding but we were shattered.

I am an elderly Mum and would not want to be told I couldn't do what I wanted. However your second post gives more information which changes things a little.
Posters are not going to agree,that's what sparks a debate
NanaNancy

Your first post sounded, to me, rather patronising, as the daughter of a ninety year old who certainly knows her own mind and would be insulted if I wrote that about her. However, if your mother has incipient dementia and may be a danger to herself if left alone that puts a different slant on it. In that case could you not, as someone upthread suggested, spend the morning with her yourself? You’re not the mother of the bride, so I’m sure the wedding party could absorb your jobs while you do a bit of shopping, have coffee and lunch and a rest before getting ready. I’d be quite grateful for the excuse!

Some of the comments may be a bit harsh but your OP really just seemed to say that you didn’t want her to be tired. People can only comment on what you tell them and your second post puts a different slant on the matter.

Nananancy you obviously know your Mother better than we do, if you can’t think of anything to occupy her for a few hours, how do you expect us to come up with anything?

There are a few good ideas on here, if you calm down long enough to have a proper look.

Thanks for some suggestions - taken back by the back-lashing by some. Perhaps, those who don't have enough experience with an elderly Mum, who MAY think she is "able" to go off, but in reality should not; and will later not be enjoyable to any of us as she tires and then the rather bizarre statements start (due to the starting signs of diminishing "brain power").
It is not patronizing to care enough to share and hope for uplifting ideas - from others who may have elderly Mum some of whom do need managing.
IS that not what we are here to do for each other? Lift up not put down. Shame on you.

How about you spending the morning with your mum and might be easier to get someone else to do what you were going to do. It would put your mind at rest and you can make sure mum doesn’t overdo things and you both enjoy
your nephews wedding.

It really sounds quite patronising Nananancy I agree with
DoraMarr and others, its up to your mother what she wants to do, I would be appalled if my children treated me like that.

I suppose that did sound a bit harsh, Jalima
she may, of course, love ironing or shoe cleaning JackyB - I was just thinking what I would say if someone suggested it to me

Let her do what she wants. It sounds as if she is quite capable. If she wants to leave the reception early because she is tired, call a taxi.
Shoe shining, ironing !!!