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Retirement plans

(28 Posts)
PernillaVanilla Mon 06-Aug-18 10:48:58

I'm surprised there isn't a dedicated retirement section on here, so I'm posting in chat.There is so much around on the financial aspects of retirement but not much to go on about how to decide how to live your life.

When we retire in a couple of years we will be comfortably off, not well off but probably about the same as we are now in real terms as our mortgage will be paid off and the substantial pension payments we make now will end.

We are both fit and well, DH very into fitness and me too this year, with ladies bootcamp, weight lifting cycling and horse riding being my main activities.

We just don't know where to begin in deciding whether to move, get part time jobs, get a horse and a new dog or go travelling. DH teaches a form of fitness so he will probably do more of that.

Main options are:

Move to flat in trendy bit of local city, near galleries, restaruants etc. and let this out when we go travelling.

Move to Scotland and get a place with some land so we can have horses again.

Move to local bohemian small town and soak up the atmosphere, go to arts events etc.

We really could live anywhere in the UK provided our sons who live in London can get there reasonably easily, and have not written off the idea of either moving abroad or buying a small bolt hole there.

We really are a bit flumoxed by the choices and are probably in denial about the fact we are approaching retirement (which has huge negative connotations for us) in any event.

One problem is that if I get a horse again and we acquire a rescue dog we would then be more tied than we are now if we want to travel.

I'd like to hear from others who might have been adventurous (or decided not to be) about what has worked well for them to give me a bit of direction.

PernillaVanilla Fri 10-Aug-18 12:32:13

Thank you f;or all the replies. I had a look through some family photographs a couple of days ago and was quite surprised to see how many of them were mainly of horses and dogs! I'm starting to think a bit of travel first off would be good, just to wind down from work and take ourselves out of the fixed routine. I've just remembered that the last riding holiday I went on had a little band of "helpers" who were all retired and in their 60's or 70's. I think I might try to find somewhere to help out in a horsey context and keep that issue under review. It was interesting to see how many decisions about where to live had been quite spontaneous, so maybe that will just happen for us too.
I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about this now than when I first posted. It is really good to get other people's views on a topic where really I have no very firm opinions of my own.

luluaugust Wed 08-Aug-18 20:32:39

If you are like us with two years to go you will still do a lot of talking. We didn't know what to do but suddenly a house came up where we wanted to be, then out of the blue a chance to use a property abroad on and off, then a GC arrived. Life does happen while you are trying to plan it! Good luck I hope things become clearer as you talk.

Mapleleaf Wed 08-Aug-18 17:58:08

Looking at your list PernillaVanilla, you seem to have a lot if ideas floating around. Perhaps it might be an idea to look again at your list and place your ideas in some kind of order of preference, for example, the places you have thought you might like to live, and the pets you might like to have. Then, having done that, look at the pros and cons of each idea and the realistic cost of doing them, the practicalities of them, etc. You then might have a clearer idea of what is realistically attainable and what is more of a dream. I know dreams can sometimes become reality, but you need to look at whether those dreams are going to be affordable or tying or both.
Good luck. ?

paddyann Tue 07-Aug-18 22:36:15

We've never been planners and just as well with the government messing the pension up and our other pensions not acheiving what we were told they would so we'll work part time for a while longer.I'm not interested in travelling and theres no way I would move away from family and friends at this stage in life .Boring? I dont think so,we spent literally 18 hours a day in work so its lovely having time to ourselves at home and being with our kids and GC .

Doodle Tue 07-Aug-18 20:16:49

DH has always been plagued with medical problems so I suppose we always plan for the worst and hope for better. We are both retired so would make the following points:

1. No matter how well you feel now, who knows what the future might bring so plan to be self sufficient if ill health were to become a problem.
2. If you have children, live close to them so if you need their help they don't have to travel miles to come to your aid.
3. If your children have busy lives make yourselves self sufficient so that you dont need them to mow the lawn, decorate, run you to and from hospital etc.
4. If you want pets, don't plan on lots of holidays abroad leaving others to deal with your dog, horse etc unless you are absolutely certain they are happy to do so.
5. Make your choices wisely and be happy in what you do.

lovingit Mon 06-Aug-18 22:40:20

I went for the horse and dog.

No long haul travelling but manage to get away in the summer when my horse is out 24/7 for up to a week at a time.I have a good dog sitter but again I don't want to leave him for more than that. I take the dog on holiday in Britain and take my horse away to Cumbria. Not how I planned my retirement but I wouldn't change a thing.

Whatever you do enjoy the freedom to choose.

DoraMarr Mon 06-Aug-18 19:54:45

Although I have a partner we don’t live together, so once my children ( with my ex husband) were all settled in their own homes I sold the family home and bought an apartment near the centre of the big city. It is great! I have been doing lots of travelling with my partner, and it is so easy now just to lock up and leave without having to worry about security or the garden. I’m near a lovely park so my grandchildren have somewhere to play, and I’m close to theatres, concert halls, galleries, restaurants and shops. Cleaning takes a couple of hours a week, and I really think my home is future proof: no stairs, a walk- in shower, a concierge on site, and there is a little community of like- minded folk- we are ready to help each other out in an emergency. This life suits me, but I can appreciate those who love gardening ( I have pots on my balcony) or who enjoy country life. I wonder wether having a horse would curtail your travelling plans, but if that would be an important part of your retirement then you should go for it.

ContraryMary88 Mon 06-Aug-18 16:55:03

Why don’t you spend the next 2 years going to all the places you have mentioned for holidays? It might give you some idea of what to do later.

A lot can happen in 2 years, our world turned upside down in the space of 2 months, due to health problems, as a consequence we don’t plan, we just wait and see what will happen and take each day as it comes.

petra Mon 06-Aug-18 16:46:42

No good asking me, we never make plans grin
OH was 55 I was 58, went on holiday, went to look at a house for sale with another couple ( being nosy) there was another house with a view to die for, bought it without even going inside.
Came home, sold the property we were living in, we had other rental properties. Went to live abroad ( outside the eu) while there we saw a motohome for sale in Germany, flew there and bought it, visited every country in Europe.
GC came along so back to the uk. Spend a lot of time now in Europe with the motohome.

Willow500 Mon 06-Aug-18 16:40:00

KatyK grin

Willow500 Mon 06-Aug-18 16:39:06

We talked about this only yesterday in the car on the way to eldest granddaughter's 21st. I will be retired at the end of the year due to my company's reorganization - I really don't know what I want to do - I never have had a plan right through life. My husband who is the same age (64) is planning to work till the end of next year on gradually reducing hours if this is possible - he has an hour's journey each end of the day and it's the travelling which is the worst part not the job itself. To give us a possible plan we've bought a bungalow back in our old home town and are renovating that - whether we actually move there eventually will be a decision we make later but it's a possibility and will be downsizing from here.

We have pets and have said we won't have any more when they go (perish the thought but it will happen one day). A horse is a big commitment isn't it as they grow to a good age - would you be able to put something in place to ensure it was taken care of in the event of it outliving you (sorry but I always think of these things!)?

Travel has never appealed to us but if it's in your blood then I would agree with those who have said do it while your health (and wealth) allow - you can't go backwards. Our health is not what it was and insurance costs for long haul is pretty expensive.

You don't say how old your sons are but my youngest was 39 before his first child was born and a friend's was 44 so never say never! Grandchildren will definitely make you think again.

Eglantine21 Mon 06-Aug-18 16:27:30

Sounds good to me ???????‍♀️?

PernillaVanilla Mon 06-Aug-18 16:24:18

Ah, KatyK, That sounds good. No plans at all sounds less stressful too. One problem is that when you are at work you have to be organised and have a business plan, but sometimes in your personal life it is better without one.

KatyK Mon 06-Aug-18 16:22:53

Just reread my post. 'Sitting in the park drinking Cider' doesn't sound good! It was a food festival and we had a cup of strawberry cider bought from a stall. We weren't in the park with bottles of cider. Honest!

Nannarose Mon 06-Aug-18 16:16:59

Actually, unless something major comes up, I would make no plans at all. Sometime during the first few weeks, you'll begin to talk about your options, and something will take your fancy. As for where to live, I would go somewhere you like the idea of for a couple of weeks, look in estate agents' windows and if you like the place, consider renting for a few months.
I think the answers will emerge as you begin to live the life. It's good to think ahead and gave a few ideas, but I wouldn't make any concrete plans.

KatyK Mon 06-Aug-18 15:57:13

I didn't have a plan. I retired 9 years ago and I was dreading it but it has been (mainly) great. A few disasters - DH got cancer, but all is good now hopefully. I am 69 and he is 72. Yesterday evening we were sitting on bales of hay in a park, drinking cider and listening to a rock band, not having to worry about work in the morning. Can't be bad. smile

Azie09 Mon 06-Aug-18 15:40:41

Very familiar situation Pernilla and range of possibilities. I think getting priorities in order is important and being flexible. We rented before buying and still ended up being in not quite the right place although we like the general area. We're now considering very seriously moving to France though we'll do some more travelling first.

Re horses, I went back to horse riding as a hobby and was trying out a horse to loan when I had a whopping fall (from a buck) that didn't break anything but did take 6 months to recover from and made me realise that you can't take life for granted! My daughter has horses and other friends too and they are such a commitment! Likewise a dog. We are keen to take on a dog but don't think it's fair when we are so uncertain about life.

We also have young adult children who don't seem to be planning for babies yet but if they do suddenly produce, that will change the entire thing.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have so much choice in life and I try to give back through a bit of voluntary work and take each day as it comes. We never know, the world is uncertain in so many ways, I would say don't plan too far in advance but don't dither either! Good luck.

PernillaVanilla Mon 06-Aug-18 14:15:01

Another yes, to serious travelling. We do one big trip every 3 years at present next year will be the last of these before we retire, then we can look at the places that really need a lot more than a fortnight to do them justice. Is there anyone around who keeps a horse? I parted with my last one, lovely highland Pony 22 years ago when she went very lame and had a change of career to being a brood mare, I've recently become horse mad again ( like a teenager) and would love another of my own.

FlexibleFriend Mon 06-Aug-18 13:43:08

Well I'm no use as I couldn't wait to retire and start on the next phase of life. I took early retirement at 50 and haven't regretted it once. All the plans in the world are worth nothing when life gets in the way. I didn't plan on getting divorced but it was preferable to giving in to the OH moaning because I'd made better retirement provisions than him and he was jealous. He thought I should get another job, the more we argued the clearer it became we wanted different things. So the plan changed we went our seperate ways and I wish I'd done it sooner. I like to be busy with stuff and happy with my own company and much prefer making all my decisions on my own. Nothing bothers me I just decide what's the most important thing to me and do that thing first and work my way down the list. Travelling is always a good way of getting my thoughts in order, I always have a holiday while pondering big decisions and before I know it the decision is made. Some things I don't need to think about, I won't be downsizing or moving to a different part of the country and I'll always have at least one dog. The rest I'm taking one day at a time and enjoying it which is thee most important thing.

Granny23 Mon 06-Aug-18 12:32:13

Retirement, like a wedding, may be a once in a lifetime event but is merely a transition to the rest of your lives. You cannot make a once and forever plan because life will throw up new challenges and changes of direction.

You both have your freedom, health and wealth, so make the most of this first phase by doing all the things you want (travelling and maybe living abroad) that require these circumstances. In the fullness of time you will probably be blessed with Grandchildren and, although you may not realise it now, that will change your priorities, as you will want to see and be involved with them as much as possible. Later, hopefully much later, one or both of you will no longer be as fit as you are now and there will be a shift to a less hectic, more settled phase.

Hope this is helpful and allows you to prioritise your plans accordingly.

kittylester Mon 06-Aug-18 11:57:44

We had no grandchildren and then 9 arrived within 11 years! shock

PernillaVanilla Mon 06-Aug-18 11:55:47

Good idea to start off with the travelling before taking on any commitments and see whether that pattern of life suits us or whether enhancement of home life is more our thing. We have both worked full time since we have been married so the idea of having time to ourselves is a bit alien at the moment.
Our sons don't seem at all interested in settling down and having children so no grandchildren likely to be in the equation for some years yet ( in fairness they are still both in their early/mid twenties)

Poppyred Mon 06-Aug-18 11:24:23

Why not get the travelling bug out of your system first (or not) and then consider your options. Sometimes having too many choices can be a negative but hei ho better than not having a choice.

MacCavity2 Mon 06-Aug-18 11:10:52

Understand your dilemma. We were certain we wanted to move elsewhere so sold the house and rented where we thought we would like to live. After six months I knew I wouldn’t settle so we took our time to choose another area where we bought and have lived happily since. Once the cats departed we agreed no more animals so we can come and go as we please as our house is a brilliant lock up an leave. Good luck.

kittylester Mon 06-Aug-18 10:56:42

Can't help with your bigger plans but what both DH and I have enjoyed since retiring is volunteering and seeing the grandchildren.

We maintain that keeping busy helps us stay young so Dh worked until he was 71 and I have always had lots of family and volunteering commitments. I do think that we have an element of running away from old age in our thinking.

Retiring is a scary prospect in many ways as it is, by definition, completely unknown territory. My advice would be to do nothing for a year or so afterwards and see how you feel when you have had time to take stock.

Look on it as a new adventure and see what happens.