HFA

There is masses of info on ASD around. They could try googling autism support in NZ. I went to do some training for staff there years ago but it was re adults with ASD.
Don't panic. ASD is very common.

My second DGS has a high functioning autism diagnosis. He was diagnosed at age 6, but we all suspected that is what it would be, before he went to the specialist. He's 8 now, and is a splendid, if quirky young man. He loves anything electrical and wants to take it apart to see all the workings inside.we have to hide the screwdrivers when he visits ??. My DD home educates all her children (4) as they all have various degrees of ASD's and were not coping in school. They are all intelligent and ask the most amazing questions. As they get older, they are learning to cope with the neurotypical world, and I have high hopes for the future for them all.

My HFA grandson is 19 now and is doing well. He has 2 part time jobs and does volunteer work. His childhood and education were challenging at times, but because of his marvellous parents he coped and is now a remarkably likeable young man.
One of the main problems when he was younger was simply getting a proper diagnosis; it took a long time and a great deal of persistence. Perhaps it's easier in NZ?
I recognise some of the symptoms you mention as being very similar to my grandson.
His main problem now is in finding a fulfilling job which will cater for his interests, and for which he is fully qualified.
I can't really give any advice, but as others above have said, there is much help online and various organisations which offer advice. And, don't worry too much. Autism is much more recognised these days, and those with it can be absolutely delightful.

I've met lots of adults with ASD who have degrees, good jobs, are in professions, are married/in relationships and have children. Don't be panicked by TV programmes which only sensationalise the condition. There's much more to a person than just the ASD component - cognitive ability, non ASD genetic potential and life experience all contribute to how they turn out.

My younger GS is also a high-functioning autistic child of 11, and will be starting secondary school in the autumn. We had to pay privately to have him diagnosed, but things really improved at school once we did. He'd been in a class with a teacher-sharing situation and clearly that wasn't going to go well - he needs routine, security etc. But the next year his teacher had obviously done some research, and instituted a 'quiet area' for him to go if he felt things were overwhelming him; all the family, including his older brother and sister talked about it; and he understands that he has this 'problem' and that there are coping strategies available. He will still have problems at school: he has a very clear idea of right and wrong and will let people know his opinion! He also finds it very difficult to make a decision when confronted with choices, although when given a subject to investigate he will know it inside out.
As an adult with high-functioning autism, they seem to cope best with analytical subjects. I've been mostly associated with the scientific community and certainly there have been people I've met there that I can now identify as having autistic traits - some quite strongly.
Basically, they are as they are. Enjoy their company for the way that they look at the world, their enthusiasm in their interests - they are often the gentlest and wonderful children

and the most interesting adults! They do grow up of course!

My 27 y.o. son has HFA he never fitted in at school and didn't fullfil his potential because we and his teachers were unaware of his problem I hope your GS early diagnosis is to the family's advantage.
My son was diagnosed 3 yrs ago which we had done privately.
Unfortunatly due to his anxiety and inability to communicate freely, even with us, he cannot find work, even voluntary. He is starting an O U course in September to occupy himself.
ASD people are a different kind of special.

My eldest GS was diagnosed at about 8 yrs after troubles with fitting in with other children at school. He was very lucky in that he was taken out of school one day each week and attended a specialist unit where he was taught coping strategies and then attended a secondary school which was for high achievers as well as being autism friendly. He got a good degree at Cambridge and was fast tracked into the civil service. He has a happy life with a lovely girlfriend. He's different--but so what? It was only when he was diagnosed that his father, our eldest DS, realised that he too had Aspergers syndrome--the symptoms all matched. When he was born, nobody was aware of HFA and although I was aware that he was different from other children, it was put down to the fact that he was , according to his teachers, "our little genius". He too went to Cambridge and got a first. Looking back over the years , I can see a strong hereditary pattern and am pretty sure that my OH is autistic as well and suspect that FIL was too. Funnily enough, they were all firstborn sons and all of them were interested in Maths and Sciences. Incidentally, when GS applied to Cambridge, he was asked as a routine question if he was autistic, so it must be very common in high achievers.

As others have said, don't despair. If you want to understand some of the things he might have problems with, I cannot recommend enough a book called The Reason I Jump. I can't remember who wrote it but I am sure if you Google it you will find it. It was written by a 13 year old autistic boy and I found it very useful in understanding the troubles my DGS was going through. With parents who love him, he is well on the way to getting he help he needs

Cambridge is a major centre for ASD research. They're keen to have students with ASD.

Thank you all for your replies - it's especially good to hear of the young ones who are now adults and I will be able to pass these reassurances on to my son. As he has been diagnosed so early I am hoping that once he gets to school he may get some extra support to help him cope - I really worry that he may be bullied but don't know if that is a regular occurrence over there. I know he is a special little boy and am sure he'll go on to do great things. A family friend is a professor in geology - another obsession of GS - he is amazed at his knowledge and slightly jealous that his own son just isn't interested - he has also said he's going to be extremely intelligent. I just hope we're still around to see where his life takes him

I would echo many of the comments here. All children are different and all children with ASD are different. Some may succeed academically but have greater difficulty socially whereas the opposite can be the case as some people with ASD are able to develop good friendships and hold down jobs but may not have the high academic ability: both would be HFA. There will be support groups and a wide variety of advice on the better way to support. I would say there is no one way to help a child with ASD to optimise their skills and potential. It really will depend on the child but I know several young people with ASD who have had happy childhoods and who now hold jobs. That will not be the case for all and some of the children I have known have needed ongoing support into adulthood. Take it a step at a time.