Am I a wimp?

What lovely, supportive messages here. Thank you all so much. xx I'm driving tomorrow - we have to pick up the new car, and we both need to drive back. My DH will be behind me, and although I'm a little nervous, it isn't the motorway - dual carriageway, but it'll be a good beginning.

Grandad - what a dreadful experience for you. I'm so glad you had therapy.

Monica - your poor daughter. I know what she meant - none of this was my fault either, and I'm known to be a good driver. (My picky mum was very relaxed when I drove her down the M4 to Cardiff!) There is nothing I could have done differently. Now we've had to use our savings to get another car, and I do feel a tad bitter about that.

Anyway, lovely Gransnetters, your posts mean a lot, and I will a) get back in the saddle, b) go out with someone on the motorway and c) see a doctor.

grannyknot Ive just googled "smart motorways" prob best you read it yourself rather than it be explained here....pretty common sense I think when I read it...(never heard of "smart motorways" before)

Certainly not a wimp! A frightening experience for you. I echo the advice about having some sessions with a driving instructor on a motorway to regain confidence in the competent driver that you are.

musicelf why are you having to use your savings to buy a new car the HGV drivers insurance should be paying

My tip is give it time. After an disagreement with some ice and somersaulting our car over a sea wall onto a pebbly beach I couldn't drive if there was any white stuff at all for about three years and only then with a proper four by four built to cope with such conditions.

Musicelf wishing you every confidence in yourself tomorrow.

Agree with all who say give yourself time .

not suprised id be scared too best thing is not leave it the old fall off a horse and get back on it syndrome can you find a sympathetic friend to accompany you or if not why not ask a driving instructor to do a few drives with you

Musicelf I have sent you a PM.

A car ran into the side of us at a junction when I was 20. I am now 73 and still flinch at cross roads if a car is approaching from the left. You are not a wimp but it is a pity if you let this stop you from driving. I suggest counselling.

I'm not surprised this is 'bugging' you. It was a horrendous experience and I think you've got to give yourself time to get over it. Perhaps the occasional G&T would help!

Let the train take the strain, get your Daughter to pick you up in Devon or a taxi. Don’t beat yourself up about it and enjoy a little holiday in beautiful Devon.

What about taking the Institute of Advanced Motorists one hour assessment to check your skills and if you like the instructor you could do the test and then be a better than average driver, which would be good for your confidence and can cut insurance costs.

www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/advanced-driver-course-

I agree with rubytut. Let the train take the strain.
Three years ago my hubby and I were involved in an accident where a young man died. I still can’t drive on motorways and nor do I want to.

No, you are definitely not a wimp, Musicelf. So glad you are, amazingly, physically unhurt, but it's natural to feel nervous after such an experience. I know I'm in the minority, but I quite like motorway driving, as I find the country lanes much more worrying. We get lots of cyclists on our narrow roads, plus lorries that are far too large, and often some idiot hurtling towards you on your side of the road. Your experience will make me more vigilant about juggernauts, though. Don't give up.

Brave woman, good luck!
But surely your insurance are paying out?

I'm very glad that you were unhurt but you are definitely not unscathed and most certainly not a wimp.
Please make an appointment to see your GP and say exactly how it's affected you. He/she may be able to offer counselling.
It's very normal to have flashbacks after terrifying incidents but they can ruin your confidence.
Don't downplay the effect it had and has on you.
I hope you get the right help to enable your thoughts to be boxed up and labelled ' dealt with'.

BTW...is there any chance that there were CCTV cameras in the area? The driver could be prosecuted.

I think it’s the “ near death” experience that jolts us so severely that our brains keep reliving it and thinking what if. I had a large bathroom cabinet put on my wall securely by a builder. My daughter was in the bath and her then baby was crawling on the floor playing. Suddenly the cabinet just fell off the wall and missed our baby’s head by inches. I heard the loud crash, ran upstairs and my daughter and I were both hysterical at what might have been. His little skull would’ve been crushed if he hadn’t moved in that instant. It affected us both for a long time after.

Driving sessions with an instructor and some counselling might also help. Your reaction is absolutely normal under the circumstances. Just a bit of support in getting your confidence back should do the trick

You are absolutely not a wimp. It must have been terrifying for you and naturally you are feeling the aftermath. I think time will help, and there are some good suggestions above. Thank heavens I don't have to go on motorways much these days.
Wishing you all the very best.

Morning, Gransnetters,

Thank you for your support. I can report that I have driven today - down the A5 past Milton Keynes and have lived to tell the tale. It was a little nerve-wracking at times, but I could feel my confidence beginning to return. I didn't like being sandwiched between two lanes, but got through it. Time will help, and eventually I will get back to motorway driving.

As for the insurance - they're paying us what our written-off car was worth; nearly 10 years old, so not a lot. I too thought that the HGV insurance should pay for another car, but it doesn't work like that. We've kept our no-claims, and won't have to pay the excess charge, but everything else is down to us.

Insurance companies will always look after themselves first!

Poor you but, thank goodness you were not injured. You are definitely not a wimp and you are experiencing a bit of PTSD which is not surprising. Going out with a professional instructor for a couple of sessions, as has been suggested, sounds like an excellent idea.

When I did the Advanced Motorist course the instructor told me, during a bit of motorway driving. not to be the meat in the sandwich if I could help it.

I didn't pass but have had a one hour assessment every couple of years since to check my driving. The standard is high.

Congratulations on today’s drive. You are definitely not a wimp. Have a read of these statistics, I find them very encouraging and may help all nervous motorway drivers.

RAC statistics-www.racfoundation.org/assets/rac_foundation/content/downloadables/roads%20and%20reality%20-%20bayliss%20-%20accident%20trends%20by%20road%20type%20-%20160309%20-%20background%20paper%209.pdf

They are slightly old figures but the trend continues. Motorway driving is so, so much safer than other roads!

Sorry feeble attempt at link, but it does work!

Musicelf I'm sorry to hear that you had such a scary experience and glad that all is well.

However, it can leave you having flashbacks - we had a very frightening motorway near miss many years ago and now, if I am with anyone else driving on the motorway and I see brake lights ahead of me, I am putting my foot down on an imaginary brake and bracing myself. However, I am fine if I am driving.

If you can find a quiet bit of motorway near you and make yourself drive along it, then build up your courage again that would be good. However, I do have friends who never drive on motorways and manage to get around perfectly well.