The things they say - DHs that is!

Was the cat in the bed, nanasam, or did you just dream that it was?

Oh Daisyboots that must be awful for both of you. Sending a hug

Your husband's night time antics have really made me laugh out loud.
Thank you!!

I have laughed so much at some of your nocturnal experiences!
My DH occasionally kicks me repeatedy as if he is running or riding a bike in his dream.
But about 10 years ago I awoke one morning to find a concrete garden gnome on top of the laundry basket in the corner of our bedroom. It had definitely not been there when we went to bed because I had put my clothes in the basket. We didn't have any gnomes in our garden - I can't stand them. I asked DH about it, he was as puzzled as me, but when he got put of bed there was grass between his toes and dirty footprints in the hall. We were the only ones at home that night, the kids were away. So the question was: where did he go in the night and whose garden did he take the gnome from? I didn't recall any of our near neighbours having gnomes. But more importantly did he put his dressing gown on - he always sleeps in the buff! We never did find out where the gnome came from.

I’ve laughed so much at some of these that the tears mixed with my suncream and my eyes are stinging like heck. Keep ‘em coming

My h just snores, so if my gd is not there I go in her bed
I snore too.

My DH husband always said he didnt dream because he didnt remember anything when he woke up in the morning. Now he has PTSD I have to wake him at times because whatever dream or nightmare he is having causes him to cry real tears and it is so upsetting for him. And me too.

Doesn't happen often but sometimes DH will call pre-flight checks in his sleep. That's not so bad as it's said at normal volume.

But I have jumped out of bed a couple of times when he shouted out and went through a whole engine fire drill.

Strange thing is I don't remember him doing this when he was working. The minds really is amazing.

I wondered what I say in my sleep, I asked him and so far I've just mumbled, thank goodness :-)

My DH often yells in his sleep but I can't understand any of it until he calls "Help! Call the police!". This happens quite frequently, always the same words!

My DH many years ago woke me up to tell me the cat had caught a rabbit, he had taken the live rabbit downstairs followed by the cat, he got to the front door, opened the door & put the rabbit on the step outside, rabbit ran off followed by the cat, he then looked down & realised he was naked. Luckily it was 5.30 on a Saturday morning & hopefully our large conifer would have shielded him from view. He never lived it down

Pheonix, that is so funny . We moved house a few years ago and OH was chatting to the new neighbours. He told me they were lovely and the old chaps name was Wally. I happily shouted Hello Wally for a few weeks before our unfortunate neighbour quietly told me his name was Morris! I'm still unsure if OH did it on purpose

Once my now-ex DH kicked me in bed in his sleep and said 'sorry Jill'. Well that is not my name, but was that of a work colleague who used to flirt with him! I never let him live it down!

Phoenix, thank you for that. I will be giggling whenever I think about it today - am taking minutes in a meeting later so am hoping I won't need to tell them what I am giggling about!

My DH woke me up to the bedroom being covered with sheets from the ottoman including the bed to protect the grass as there was 12 foot spikes.
When I asked what he was doing he got back in bed and fell asleep. Me had to fold all the sheets back up. When I mentioned it to him the next day he just laughed.

The other night as I was struggling back from the bathroom DH turned to me and shouted "sing harri", he was obviously dreaming, nobody but nobody asks me to sing.

My DH wakes up and tells me how tired he is because he has been building a wall all night or digging the veggie patch. The activity changes but he is always exhausted by it!

I must point out he is a lovely happy family man who will help anybody in trouble regardless of race colour or creed and is loved by all who know him. I know I am very lucky so the nightmares are quite an amusing minor problem.

Oh so many I could tell, so many broken nights (for me) that is. He has attacked the bedside lamp because he dreamt he was being mugged by Kosovan immigrants at Canon St Station! This happens regularly, just the muggers change nationality. He got up and started shaving in the bathroom at 3am, on a Sunday! He was convinced he had just turned the alarm clock off. He got up and started dressing because he needed to go and buy milk! He has started kicking wildly cos he was playing football at Wembley! I could go on...........

The weirdest thing my H ever did while still asleep was a few days after our D was born.
I had fed her and changed her Terry towelling nappy and had just left it at the side of the bed, I was so tired, and H never woke when I was tending her.He suddenly woke up, dragged the wet nappy, and the dressing table stool onto the landing and sat crouched staring intently down the stairs. When I asked him what he was doing , he said I am just waiting for the last wicket to fall and then I will come back to bed, which shortly after he did.

One night, DH was lowering himself back into bed after a convenience break. As his backside hit the bed I screamed at him "DON'T SIT ON THE CAT'S HEAD!!" He leapt across the room in shock and has never forgotten it, poor thing.

Years ago DH poked me awake and said 'Sit UP!' which I did then he said 'Take a letter to what's his name@ and promptly fell sound asleep again. As I have no shorthand and DH has never had a secretary, I have no idea where this came from.

Some years ago, in the middle of the night, Grampy leapt out of bed , and ran naked to the top of the stairs shouting ‘ oh my god I’ve thrown Sarah down the stairs ‘!

Sarah was our 10 year old daughter !

He hadn’t by the way !

Hahaha Phoenix! How embarrassing. Did you tell him what he'd said later or leave him in blissful ignorance?

Not in his sleep, and I have posted this before, but I wanted the ground to open up (or pretend that I had never seen him before in my life) when MR P asked the nice young lady at the garden centre if she had trailing labia

"Sarah did it"
I don't know a Sarah and as far as I know neither does DH