Need a kick up the bum!

Ah thank you loopyloo for posting about the Meetup groups. Will have another look

Ahh that’s good Oldwoman,& thanks for the update. There is always a virtual hug o here for you, take care & well done , I hate ironing !?

Hello everyone - yes I am OK Bridgeit thank you, I have been out for a walk today - also caught up with the ironing which made me feel better (and I now have clean blouses!) I can't get in touch with old friends as, unfortunately, most have now passed on. I thank you all for your advice and concern, I promise I am trying to think positive.

You are not alone. Most of us have felt this way at one time or another. It is more difficult for those of us who are on our own. Sometimes feelings improve during the summer months when it is lighter and sunny. It often lifts the mood.
Before going to the Dr's and commencing on a life of antidepressants try getting out and about more. Even window shopping gets you out. As someone suggested get in contact with people that you haven't seen for a while. They too may be glad of a visit or phone call. Also do treat yourself now and again. It doesn't have to cost a lot. It could be clothes or something nice to eat. Even just some lovey smelling bath foam.
Whatever you do just think well about yourself. Good luck and hope things get better for you.x

Oldwoman70, would love to see a post from you, just so we know you are ok .

I know it is hard to be on your own a lot , I speak from experience, too cope you need to find out what you like first .. and just concentrate on doing this and only this . Hopefully you will meet peoples who have the same interest than you and you could make some friends that way . For myself I used to work and meeting lots and lots of peoples and suddenly after moving from London to the east of England i have find it and still find it difficult ..... But I just do what i like going to London, Cambridge , Norwich and even it is not perfect it get me out but they should be place when you could meet peoples of different ages and different status .. best of luck

Before you go to bed write a list of things you will do tomorrow - eg, the ironing, walk round the block, cut nails, call Fred, pay gas bill. Don't make it too long. It worked for me when I felt as you do now. Then you can cross them off as you do them and there is a feeling you have accomplished something and are entitled to sit down with a cup of tea and do nothing.

Top tip - it just does not work if you try to do it in the morning, it has to be the previous evening or day.

Been there, thinking of you.

Can I just say that starting a meetup is not difficult at all. I just said a date and a time in a Mark's and Spencer cafe and waited to see who turned up! If no one had arrived , I would have looked round the shops then headed off home.
As it was the group has gradually grown. We meet once a month and everyone seems to enjoy it.

Oldwoman, so sorry you are feeling so down at the moment, but as most folk have said, be kind to yourself, but if it doesn't lift, please go and see your doctor.

I think, as we get older, our friends/family/colleagues and so on, diminishes for various reasons and we find ourselves more and more alone with more time to fill and it can lead to these sort of feelings.

Joining a group with people who have similar interests can help to get you out of the house and may find you a good friend.

It is hard though, have been feeling similar myself recently for no real reason, but I know I have depression, so keep telling myself it will pass.

Hope you feel better soon xx

As someone who's been bi-polar since childhood, I know a wee bit about depression: and believe me, it hits anybody it wants to right out of the blue however well their life is going. A neighbour once said to my husband "but why is she depressed, she has nothing to be depressed about" and that's what is happening with you. You MUST visit your GP, it's vital that you get some antidepressant tablets. They take around 10 - 14 days to kick in usually, but do make a difference,even if you have to try 2 or 3 "brands" before you get the right one for you. And meanwhile, remember the Samaritans will always be there to talk to you night or day by calling 116 123. I'll put you in my prayers.

I sympathise with you, OldWoman. My late mother suffered from anxiety and depression. When depression hits me - often out of the blue but sometimes sparked by something - I feel lethargic and cannot be bothered to take part in any of my usual activities, I wear any old thing and everything is too much effort. I just want to be a recluse. Then the depression lifts and I'm OK again. It's been like this for years, I've never had any treatment for it. But when 'down' I think I'm turning into my mother. But in reality, I have nothing to be depressed about. Nice house, enough money, friends, good health, lovely DDs, loving DH. It's irrational.

I don't know if you are aware but there are some TED talks about depression on the internet, which can be helpful. I think it's a pity that people will readily talk about their physical ailments, but are reluctant to talk about psychological ones, after all mental problems are not a sign of weakness, and one in four will suffer some sort of mental health problem during their lifetime. Well done Oldwoman for sharing on here. There are some good suggestions from posters for help and lots of support too. Best wishes.

We all have some days like that.However if it's like it for more than 2 weeks go and see the dr. He should do blood tests,it could be many things which are easily fixed,like low thyroid or low iron, or low vitamin d.
A decent dr will do this before suggesting talking therapies or antidepressants.
Good luck

Agree with crystalgrandma stop thinking of yourself as old, even your username is so depressing. I am taking your problem seriously but you need a change of attitude, step 1- start with a simple change of your username- what would cheer you up- come on you can be called anything you fancy on Gnet. How about something like 'LaChicParisian' (better check spelling as not my strong point!) but boy that would cheer me up every time I saw it.

OP I often feel like that. I know I have so much to be thankful for but am still unhappy. I’ve tried antidepressants over the years but they’ve not helped. Wish I had an answer to give you.

I think your nickname says a lot OldWoman70. Think of yourself as a younger
woman and change your nickname

you are not an old woman at 70. At 80 or 90 you may feel it but life can still be good if you have good health and companionship. Go for it!

How about changing your userne to something more - I don’t know - exciting/inspired/off the wall - to reflect a less “old woman 70” persona hidden in there ???

This is not meant to be fasecious but people do say that changing ones name can help. 'Oldwoman' is not an uplifting name. Perhaps you could find something more cheerful to represent the You that you want to aspire to be? 40 years ago I went through a year of beastly depression and I do know what that can be like. I am fine now but I watch for warning signs in myself and others and try to get in first. We have starated a monthly Sunday Lunch Club in our village specifically for people who might otherwise be on their own. We have been going for a year and we all enjoy it and get a really good mix of people. Try putting a card in the post office and see what happens. You are not alone; lots of people feel like you do and they may be waiting for someone like you to make the first move. Good luck! Xx

See your G.P. Depression can hit anyone and there doesn't have to be a particularly reason we can our our finger on. Its not embarrassing. 65% of a G.P work is linked to depression and mental health. Well done for speaking out

Its hard. when I'm out I often notice how many people (I'm talking late 50's upwards) are on their own. Sitting in Cafes, Garden centres, walking, even in Cinema on their own. I'm sure some of these people it is choice obviously, but a lot of people I think are lonely. Friends die, move away. It's a pity more people don't get together in there area.
I did look at a MeetUp in my area, but it seems a bit of a faff setting it up, and as I'm still working/looking after grandchildren it would be more than I could take on right now....something for when I retire though I think x

As Stella14 says depression doesn’t need an outside cause. My daughter has had it for twenty years and from the outside her life seems perfect. To look at her, you would never imagine there was anything wrong. She puts on a shiny,smiley face to the world.
There can be triggers such as hormones and certain deficiencies can cause depression.
If you see your doctor you may not need to be on anti-depressants. He,or she ,may recommend talking therapies. They are very helpful. Good luck and hope you feel better soon

Clinical Depression does not have to be a response to something. It is often simply biological. Neuro-chemicals that have a powerful effect on our mood. If the symptoms you describe last for more than 3 weeks, it’s a good idea to see your GP. Modern antidepressants can improve things for you very quickly by changing those neuro-chemicals.

Im sure that writing down how you feel and sending it to this forum has helped a bit. The pain and suffering you are experiencing is coming from the denial of feelings you do not allow to surface. You are more fortunate than others, and you are also less fortunate than some but . what matters at the moment is how you feel and how much space these feelings have to express themselves.

Some opportunities might come from writing a diary when you wake up, seeing a therapist, ;joining an expressive group like art or creative writing.

To even out the feelings, try for some physical expercise. Dance is great, but anything from golf to swimming will help relax the tension that comes from holding in the feelings and allow you some peace.

For an instant pick-me-up read the messages on 'The things they say - DHs that is' on gransnet today.