the "hard" menopause

oldbatty You said you came out with a "completely different body and mentality ( and not in a good way)".

I can't see your body of course but I bet it's lovely and "beauty is only skin deep" as for your mentality, I can attest, following my being so hard on you in another thread and then trying to apologise, your response was so kind and self-effacing, I believe you have a delightfully loving and sweet mentality!

annodomini You are an inspiration! To learn so many new and useful skills for a start. I know people will say you were lucky with the menopause, but you weren't so lucky with your marriage. It was how you dealt with it that made your life so fruitful afterwards. Truly, it is inspiring to read about a life so full following what some would regard as an ending! Congratulations!

I went through an early menopause at 40 everything just stopped one month, I loved it as had always suffered very heavy periods

I had a hysterectomy seven years ago and was not offered HRT at all. I feel I went through it the hard way. Recently my GP asked why I hadn't had HRT, as if it was somehow my fault.

Well I must have been lucky as apart from irregular very heavy periods (embarrassing at the time) I hardly had any symptoms. I do have post menopausal annoyances though such as dry eyes, whiskery chin etc.
Interesting theory that people who don't take the pill have easier menopauses - I never took the pill apart from an oestrogen only one for a few weeks after my last baby was born while waiting for the sterilisation op. Ive never been keen on medication. I used other contraception methods such as the Dutch cap and the IUD device.

Harrigran my sister was like you - she told me she never even noticed the menopause. I, on the other hand, had an awful time and my poor husband and children went through the mill with it. Apart from the hot flushes, it was the dreadful mood swings that affected everyone the most. I went onto HRT and it was like someone had given me my life - and my marriage - back. I stayed on it for ten years and never regretted taking it. I actually wish I hadn’t let my doctor persuade me to come off it.

I had this crazy idea that because I'd suffered very badly with period related symptoms the menopause would be fine.

And indeed it was initially whilst I still had some of those feel good hormones in my system. Whilst I didnt have the hot flushes I come out the other end of it with a completely different body and mentality ( and not in a good way)

It's interesting that some who had easy menopause take the view it's not down to luck but to good judgement.

My menopause was easy - it was the other bits that go with, especially after it, that continue to be tedious. HRT forever in my next lifetime.

An early hysterectomy at 39 left me with ovaries, but menopause started 3 years later. Was put on HRT and had various battles with certain male GPs who wanted to take me off it, but I am on it for life as far as I am concerned. Symptoms were horrendous. You need to stand your ground and quote evidence!

Like others I just thought of the menopause as the cessation of periods and for me it couldn’t have come too soon. Whilst I did experience very heavy periods and still have some hot flushes, I saw it as another phase of my life. Apparently, and I base this on hearsay not anything I’ve read, in cultures where age is revered, women rarely suffer from the effects of menopause.

I had a very early menopause (36) and I was put on HRT straight away by my GP. But I couldn't find any that I could cope with because they caused worse effects than the menopause did. I just stopped taking them and instead went to see a herbal practicioner who prescribed natural remedies. By and large, they worked with the worst of the symptoms but didn't help with risk of osteoporosis for which I'm now being treated.

I would be interested to know whether those having been on the 'pill' have ever associated it to an' uncomfortable' menopause.I was always anti pill preferring to use other methods and wonder if this is the reason I never suffered the flushes, sweats and moods so many have during the menopause When my periods dwindled, hardly knowing they were there, my doc knowing how I had felt about the pill , advised me to still take precautions for a minimum of two years A small price to pay when I hear what others go through during the menopause.

I don't intend going through the menopause ever. I am thankful that it is now optional.
During my hysterectomy/oopherectomy at 40 I was put on HRT. Now, 38 years later, I am still on HRT and cannot imagine life without it. I always comment when attending the menopause clinic that I am on it for life and fortunately my consultant (a very senior contributor to the NICE guidance on handling the menopause) is happy with my decision.
Personally I prefer a twice yearly oestrogen implant but am happy to recommend any transdermal method. There is a lot of rubbish spouted about natural methods of coping with oestrogen loss. The simplest is to replace it.

My post-menopausal years were have been some of my very best. My H left soon after we had moved house and for a while things were bad, but I soon learned to be myself rather than someone's wife. I worked full time, went on a counselling course, got involved in local politics and had a good range of Ramblers' holidays. After retirement I became a CAB adviser and also downsized to a smaller house in a nicer community. Even better, my DDSs made good lives and careers for themselves and I have five lovely DGC. I never looked back at the pre-menopausal days with any kind of nostalgia at all. There is life after the menopause.

I was bullied at work because I couldn't cope with the symptoms of Menopause, silvercollie, it was a terrible time of my life, also about 20 years ago. Both my doctor and husband said I should leave as my health was going downhill rapidly. I missed my job and the money and now of course have a much lower pension.
I did cope with a p/t job away from the bully, who was a woman, but also an uncaring bitch.
I did try HRT and that cut out the hot flushes but I kept bleeding, this was after my periods had stopped so came off it as at the time there was a lot of negative information about it.
If I could turn the clock back 20 years things may have been so different.

I would prefer a menopause that didn’t make my pelvic floor head for Australia, that didn’t give me whiskers, didn’t make the aging process accelerate ...didnt make me invisible as an older woman... I think menopause is a cruel thing whichever way you approach it or it approaches you ...just saying !

I’m another of the lucky ones. Periods just stopped 10 years ago. Yes, hot flushes but not too awful. They only lasted a couple of minutes. No extra hard symptoms, no bad temper & apart from a bit of emotional turmoil occasionally, on the whole, quite doable.

This is quite a timely thread for me, I have just come back from the doctor as I have this morning experienced bleeding having been on Everol Conti patches for about 6 weeks This is the 2nd time I have been on them, first time I came off as blood pressure was raised, but that was okay today.. Apropos of the bleeding, my doctor did suggest it's probably hormonal but has referred me to a gynaecologist anyway, I will probably stop taking them until I have had an examination and further advice from the consultant as to whether I should carry on. To be honest, and I am on a low dose, the benefits have been minimal, just cooler at night thus reducing the thrashing around and insomnia.

I don't think it's a bad thing if well known personalities talk about their menopause. However, everyone's experience is different, some sail through it others have horrendous symptoms, it's really a case of whatever personally gets you through what can be a very tough time and no one else can say what works for them will work for others. Not sure I'd consult a male GP though, but not a problem at the practice I go to where a male doctor is a rare thing.

Didnt take HRT myself but I think I was just always crabby so no-one noticed anything different! Around my late 40's periods became heavy and erratic, then reduced to every three months, then twice a year then nothing. Last one was about 10 years ago but I have noticed that now I perspire far more than I ever did in the heat (back of the neck and temples oddly), which I never associated with menopause but reading other gransnetters post it could be!
So I guess I went for the 'hard' menopause which was manageable in my case (although erratic v heavy periods were at times very disruptive to family life!) but fully appreciate how rotten it can be for others, my cousin calls her HRT pills her 'little miracles' and wouldnt be without them.

Please please please watch this. It is the most up to date clinical research and guidelines on HRT and menopause.
elearning.rcgp.org.uk/mod/page/view.php?id=3009
There is absolutely no need to go through a “ hard menopause”.

My menopause symptoms were also severe - and after a life of trouble free menstruation that came as a shock! I am also on HRT (tibolone) for the long term. I deal with the risks (which are not as dangerous as we were led to believe) by attending mammograms and checking breasts and have discovered that there are organisations where you can get scans of ovaries and uterus to check for any early signs of thickening/cancer. These are places where you can also get private pregnancy scans. My "well woman" check cost about £100.

I had terrible hot flushes in my late 40s whilst still having periods regularly. I started HRT then which helped a lot. Every time I got a repeat the GP said it was not good for me. After a few years they told me there was a lower dose I could take, which I did. At 55 I was told I could no longer have HRT but I was over the worst then. Bizarrely the hot flushes are worse since hysterectomy at 64.

I only took HRT for about six months into my menopause to try and 'cure' my night sweats.... which was the only symptom of menopause I had! Then I was taken off it in the wake of a bad report vis. -a- vis, it's possible affect on previous stroke victim's , one of which I was and am. I have to say that while on HRT I didn't notice any difference...it didn't even 'touch the edges' of my night sweats!! So no problem with me coming of the drug. My sweats continued to be my one and only symptom of menopause for the next 17 years!! and finially stopped a year ago. No other symptoms ever developed or if they did I didn't notice as I was busy with a full time job and a husband who had just had a stroke aged 50. I was and am his only carer to this day. I had no sympathy or understanding from him as he was and still is wrapped up in himself saying ""why me" for the last 20 years. He says he never even noticed a difference in me over those 17 years ....even though we went through 3 mattresses in that time!!

I had an early menopause at 42, suffered the hot flushes, weight gain, brain fog mood changes for a few months then went to see my GP ( a man) he immediately gave me HRT, we swapped and changed until we found one that suited me, in my mid 50s my Gp ( not the same one and a woman) decided I’d been on it long enough and I should stop, all the horrific symptoms reappeared, I lived with them for a few years, how I still have a husband I don’t know!, My GP refused to prescribe HRT now as I’m too old , 60, she gave me another medication that has helped with the hot flushes but they’re still there, as are some of the other symptoms, I know this is a stage of life but I mourn for the person I was

Looking back I must have been bloody lucky! When things came to a halt at 49 I waited fearfully for all the negatives I'd heard/read about to start overtaking me.....but very little happened apart from cessation of periods.

One unexpected side-effect was that my hair - which was already pretty thick and a bugger to manage - got even thicker and now grows even faster......