Does this damage children

We are wrong to discipline, so those precious little darlings grow up with no concept about limits and boundaries and will clearly fail at dealing with other people who have those established lines. We have to protect them from those utter cruelties in life i.e. not winning the egg and spoon race, why because mummies and daddies say they must always win or be first at everything. We have to put them on pedestals even when they are clearly not talented or really don't deserve to be up there. So which is the crueller, prepare them for life, guide and support them and equip them with life skills or let them believe we all live in lala land, fine I suppose if mummy and daddy are going to live forever. I'm with the ref on this one.

moobox ! Love the Bill Gates thing too! Definitely one to show to GS. I think possibly the worst example of parental behaviour I have seen recently was at a county junior schools cross country event. When they were doing a preliminary line up before the start, one of the mothers was seen to take a position at the front, in among the children, to effectively reserve a place at the front of the pack for her daughter, who was making her way to the start with some of her team mates. She was seen to move at least two children out of the way, and an official had to ask her to remove herself or risk her child being disqualified. The woman actually argued with him. I can’t imagine how the child must have felt. Being at the front among nearly two hundred runners doesn’t often give you an advantage anyway unless you are an exceptional runner.

All this bemoaning of today’s parents of young children.

Don’t you see that the parents of today are your Children and the way they parent will be a response to they way they patented.

So if they are too competitive and bringing up their children not to understand life isn’t fair etc etc then you don’t ask yourself why, you just blame. Could it be the way they were raised is making them parent in a certain way that you don’t rage highly.

*rate highly*

grannysue05 So glad every child got a lolly.
But Crumbs! You've brought back a memory! At a vpretty illage primary school in the S.E., in the Men's, tennis-ball-on-spoon race, the Headmaster entered. From the Off he put his finger over his ball (tennis) and, while all the other rule-keeping men were scooping up tumbled tennis balls behind him, he ran confidently to win the race!

Bbbface Yes!
However, it isn't all the parents who do it. It's that pushy minority who think it's their right to complain and that they know best. There does appear to a rise in the number of these people, the ones who think they are entitled to have their own way. But it's not all the parents.

My ex -father-in-law was a FA ref for many years till recently- he also reffed the local 5-a-side teams-if there had been an 'accepted descision' when kids were kids we wouldnt see as many disgruntled adult players when a descision goes against them these days Also yes its ussualy the (pushy) parents who are more bothered than the kids!

Yes it could be the way those parents were raised- but not everyone is like that -and mine certainly werent!- a kids school sports day is what it is- a chance for parents to cheer their kids on taking part- no matter what the outcome! Most of the children dont even like doing them these days,theres not the same 'atmosphere' as when we were young(the nice day out in the sun,jolly races&games etc;time out of doing lessons.lol)they dont even seem to reward them with a cool lolly these days-part of the 'healthy eating regime!

Too much pussyfooting around with children these days.
Life is a free for all - the sooner you learn that the better.
Life is full of disappointments - learn about it early on.

Maybe time to drop some of these left overs from a bygone age.
Sports day
Summer holidays that were designed for crop picking
Endless lining up and going to assembly.

Oh for Heaven's sake!
Having had 2 very sporty & competitive sons & 2 of my GS also play sports of all sorts I think it is all part of the learning experience that sometimes you have to suck up a wrong decision.
I have seen mothers fighting on football touch line over disputes- one was a head teacher too. I have also seen dads coming to blows over a football decision.
I have to say that although I saw a lot of issues over football decisions I have never witnessed any problem with either rugby or cricket.
Which is why I was very relieved when I no longer had to watch any football & still never do. I loathe the boring game but never miss a rugby match.
Surely small children should learn that sometimes life is just a bit unfair & that is just life.

Wetnosewheatie I was just perusing and saw how ambiguous my message above was!! So sorry I am not in despair with you... I'm agreeing with you!!!!
Sorry again if it read entirely the wrong way!

All my DC are very sporty and extremely competitive - and it's not because I was a pushy mother, although I was always there (if possible) to cheer them on. I've come across the parents with the stop-watches, the aggressive football parents, the boastful parents and they are not helping their children in the least by their attitude.

and I should add that they don't take after me as I am not in the least competitive (except when it comes to a quiz .....)

Maybe time to drop some of these left overs from a bygone age.
Sports day
Summer holidays that were designed for crop picking
Endless lining up and going to assembly

I don't think they 'line up and go into assembly' as we did oldbatty

School sports are essential imo - we have a big enough problem with obesity as it is.
Referring back to a previous post, one boy at DGS's school is obese and has difficulty running - but he is encouraged to run on sports day and, like the little boy mentioned in the post above, all his school friends cheer him on and clap when he gets to the finish line.
The nice thing at the DGD's school is that all the Y6 who are leaving to go on to secondary schools run their last race holding hands so they all finish the race at the same time.

Oh I'm sure all the kids who come last are really comforted by all the others cheering as they come in. Seem to remember it was done for cross countries in my day, and it wan't meant to encourage and it didn't. It just made the whole experience of coming last more humiliating.
Well done your DGD's year 6s who obviously have latched on to the complete ridiculousness of the whole thing.

Oh dear, I think they are all encouraging him, it's a small school
He's very popular (DGS's best friend)

I would have hated cross country, thank goodness my school didn't do them.

Actually, the year 6s doing that bring a tear to the eye; they will be going off to different schools next term. They don't see Sports Day as ridiculous at all - many are very competitive but come together in the very last race in the spirit of comradeship and friendship.

What is ridiculous about Sports Day?
What is ridiculous about sport? I ask because of the problems we have with obesity.

What is the problem with competiveness - we all have to learn to compete for jobs eventually.
And what is wrong with friends cheering you on and encouraging you? He may be a whiz at maths and encourage others who are struggling.
Should the children not cheer on their disabled classmate who is pushed by a TA over the finishing line in her wheelchair?

I don't see any of it as ridiculous.

competitiveness

Well done your DGD's year 6s who obviously have latched on to the complete ridiculousness of the whole thing.
I am still puzzling as to how you managed to construe that idea from what I said trisher

luzdoh - I was a bit puzzled until I read further on through the thread and saw your update

I'd not read your story before, and admit to having slightly leaking eyes afterwards.

I must, however, say that the words I posted are not mine. I had seen them years ago, on the good old interwebthingy, and saved them. I think they are very good rules though and often share them where I think they're applicable

Handling a little bit of disappointment from a young age is I think crucial to coping with life as an adult. Praise for taking part & having a go takes the sting out of not winning.

My GS belongs to a junior football team. Yesterday was their end of season picnic and award ceremony. Each child had a trophy, and accolades for their various strengths, improvements and skills, but the ones who had truly shone throughout the season got an extra trophy. No-one thought this was unfair - certainly not the boys - who recognise the excellence in their team mates, and to my knowledge none of the parents. No child was left with the impression they had fallen short in any way and because of that, they will all play as well or better next season. It was a lovely event.

I suppose it comes from frequently being the last child to finish and knowing that you would much prefer to arrive unnoticed. It may well be meant well and I suppose some of the teachers I had thought they were encouraging me. They weren't.
The ridiculousness is that everyone knows by Y6 who will be at the front and who at the back. There may be a little competition between the top few, but it's fairly predictable. In other words it's just a chance for those with ability to show off and those without to struggle.
There is no link between Sports Days and obesity, unless it is that they thoroughly humiliate fat children. Activity and sport is a very personal choice and it would be much better to provide children with tasters of activities they may find interesting and absorbing than forcing them to participate in a day which just proves sport isn't for them.
I don't want sport's days banned I do want to see them kept as low key as possible

It’s part of growing up. Children need to learn that life isn’t always fair and they can’t have their parents sorting out every little problem.