What would you ask a 27 year old boomerang son to pay housekeeping?

Well we ask for 10% of earnings after tax etc, this doesn’t include if they do overtime. For this they get all meals, I pack a lunch, and cook evening meal. We cover all bills, but ask them to respect hot water etc, tbh they are very good with that. My son pays for the internet connection to the house for all of us, Netflix and amazon prime. My daughter does Help with chores, and they are responsible for cleaning their bathrooms and bedrooms, including changing beds. I do the laundry so long as it’s brought down to the utility room !.

He should pay what it costs you to have him there unless you don't need the money. I think people learn to budget when they need to. Parents don't need to teach them.

I am interested to know what happens in other countries. My Danish mother-in-law was horrified at the “English habit of charging their children to live at home”. Therefore she never charged my husband and he in turn wouldn’t take money from our sons. They moved out at a reasonable age and seem to manage ok though.

Am maybe going to go against consensus of opinion but would say there are no guidelines on how much AC should pay. It all depends on your own personal circumstances. IF you are struggling then you need more. If you don't actually need his money then yes, of course you still need him to pay but speak to him about how much he earns, how much the bills are etc so you point him in the right direction for when he moves out eventually. I don't agree you take such and such an amount and save it up for him. He should be doing this himself!

Just be open and honest: "Hey we will help you all we can but you can't offload" That type of thing.

I suggest looking at what it would cost him to live elsewhere and charge him a similar amount. If that comes to more than a third of his salary - and it probably will - then reduce it.

However I'd put at least part of the money away for him each week so that when he is ready to move on he has his flat deposit and other costs ready.

Mine pays £150 per month, or much you say. He has debts from an old partnership, so the way I see it the quicker he pays them off ,the quicker he’s out of my hair.

In London it costs around £100-150 per week to rent a room in a shared house, inclusive of bills but, of course, not food. I expect it is considerably less than that in some areas.

As someone else said, can you try and work out what the extra cost is in food and water and energy bills? I would imagine around £50 a week is reasonable. As Jalima says, it also depends on how much he earns.

We never charged our adult son for "keep" but, on reflection, I think it was a mistake because it has taken him several years to budget and save sensibly. Our daughter left home quite young and we made a contribution towards her rent.

' right'

My son ' boomeranged' back twice.... and both times I took a third of his 'take home' wage for his keep. If we didn't need it ( sometimes did cos not much money coming in)..then I put into our savings account , and when he was back on his feet and looking to move out to his own place we gave him. 'His ' savings to put down as deposit on his flat. He was grateful and surprised, and we were pleased to help him. He's always been in low paid jobs even though he has 3 A Levels... seems not to have much ambition. I'm ok with that as he isn't married and only has himself to think of. We've quite often gifted him small amounts of money hen we know he's been stopped for cash. He NEVER has asked for help! But when he reached 30 he totally refused our help , saying, if he couldn't cope now it was 'down to him' . I felt great pride in him knowing he was and still is a man of character. It means more than money to us.he continues to stick to his word. Helping your kids is the right Hong to do..... but sometimes NOT helping them gets them to take stock of thier lives and cope better.

@ Menopaws

what a about rent?

I would up the amount he pays his debt back and let him clear the debt without paying. board initially. He sounds delightful and is obviously pulling his weight gardening for you and doing his own washing etc. Then reach an agreed amount for him to contribute and if you can afford it, save that money on his behalf for his future.

When my son boomeranged - several times - I used to ask for the difference in household bills. i.e. the difference in council tax, energy bill, water. So it didn't come to much, but he felt like he was paying his way and I wasn't out of pocket. My family will always be my family, and as long as there's breath in my body, there will always be a roof for them even if one of us would have to sleep on the floor. I was also EXTREMELY glad for his company, so it worked well for everyone.

I think it would be good to charge him a realistic rate for his rent and board - he sounds as though he needs to learn about managing his finances.
If you are reasonably well off yourself, and don’t really need the money, you could put some aside, then when he plans to move out you’ll be able to help him set up home.

I don't think it is relevant whether or not you can afford to keep AC. Surely they should pay their way whatever. That is probably why so many young adults are useless with money not even knowing roughly what they have in the bank at any given time nor how much they can safely spend on their social life and still cover their bills.

I read this with interest as my son only paid £150!a month sky inc till he moved out might show him this and shock him!! Ha ha but lived having him but he was expensive to keep !!

to be clear I charged last lodger £500 pm.so I meant £250 was half. ...that was excluding food though.

Yes my daughter said it DOES affect both council tax, and any housing benefits people may be getting if another adult,especially when they work,comes back to live in household.even if they dont get any benefits help it can effect council tax charges or rents if your renting council or housing association.

ha ha Nannan2 you are probably right. But I have had time to think and look at it...it is so different if you are not in financial need which I'm not. If I was and could not afford the extra outlay I would calculate the cost and put it to him. If it was affordable, I would charge half of what I would charge a lodger - eg about £250 per month. and let him know he was on 'sons' rate (daughters rate might be even cheaper!)

Those that have said "they wouldn't charge for the pleasure of living with them" is all very well however does not teach the young person anything. It's not as if when they live at home they pay what they would pay in there own place.

Even if you can afford to keep them I don't think it is productive or wise not to charge them.

If your in the position to afford it I would still take lodge, save it for them and give them the lump sum when they are ready to move out or for something life changing

For the record I still have one son at home now in his late 20s. I can't afford to keep him however he pays me nothing like what he would in his own place. He pays about 25% of his income into the home and gets alot in return for that.

That covers his food, share of household bills including electric, gas and so on, basic toiletries, share towards broadband etc and more.

I haven't put the lodge up over the years as he is very good around the house and saves us a fortune. He is a joiner by trade and handy in other areas taught with his apprenticeship.

Though through circumstances he didn't continue that line of work there is very little I have to find a company in to do. The only thing I can remember paying for in a long time was the new cooker to be fitted, wr bought recently. Whilst he could have done it he is not Corgi registered so we weren't going to do that.

Unfortunately recently my husband has passed away. There had been limited done around the house the last few years because of his health.

Our son has taken the mantle up of all the updates and decorating that needs doing from tiling, joinery, painting and miscellaneous. It's saved 1000s and more plus I know I am going to get a good job done

My chum has a lodger and he pays £90.00 per week Monday to Friday.

My son was paying us £60 a week 4yrs ago when he came back after parting from his girlfriend. He decided the amount himself and we were happy with it. Has his own flat now and only stayed for 9 months miss him.

My daughter got into a bit of debt after she had moved out and came back for 6 months in her early 20s. Neither of us were earning a lot so I charged her £100 for extra gas, electricity and council tax and she was able to pay off her debts and has managed to cope well with her finances since then (she's now mid 30s) Unless you think your adult son is being unreasonable I should not charge him too much.

Rocknroll5me is not being realistic! I understand what their saying but you need to help your son learn the way of adult life without 'skinting' him and you want to do so or you wouldnt be asking us would you.(rose tinted specs i think rocknroll5me is often wearing)lol.Your son is a caring person,and you are too,but if you gave him everything 'for free' then he'd not start to know real cost of life.Im sure you'l still have 'happy memories' wether he pays his way or not.As do most families wether theyre kids are still kids, or young adults- wether they are still at home by then or not.

A lot to think about here- unless hes told you what he earns it would be bit rude to ask- you could try ask son what he feels is fair?and then work out any extra costs then go back to him and see if you can reach a figure youre both happy with? And yes he may do his washing but would he put in a full load like you?or do lots of smaller washes which may use as much water,powder,electric each time?yes he may cook for himself but will be using cooker etc all over again when youve used it earlier& could have cooked it all at once,so more fuel again! You must take all this into consideration.(i thought of this fleetingly other day when my 19 yr old- no money except PIP as hes at college)put on the whole heating in house just to dry 2 t-shirts on radiator! Try use some guidance from all our comments and ask for a fair amount to cover bills etc,plus debt.but you must leave him enough to save for his own place or he'l be at home for years!(maybe he could get a savings account for that& show you every 4 mths or so how its building up?-that way hes not tempted to spend it on luxuries?)also i think the council tax can charge more per adult in home so you may want to check that?particularly if you or your husband get any kind of rebate on it?

My SiL lived with us for 7 months. She paid £40pw which included all bills and food. She earns a good wage and did nothing to help around the house. In retrospect I should have charged her 3 or 4 times that amount - she might have moved out quicker too!!