Sorry but I am so sad

Can’t afford to rent near my daughter, they won’t consider me for social housing, and private rentals don’t allow dogs, I couldn’t part with Lottie . I really have tried, council here have refused to consider me for a move away from the bridge, I even asked Gwalia who support women, they only have flats and I just cannot live with people with drug or alcohol problems . I really have tried , feel trapped and angry that I have allowed myself to be so weak. Have contacted physiotherapists in private practice , they don’t do home visits.

Oh Anniebach I feel so sorry for you. Please don’t feel sorry for “moaning “. If it helps at all then carry on and feel the love and care people on here have for you. I hope you can.

Is it time to consider moving near to your younger daughter?You said she wanted you to move close to her.
I know you love Wales, but are you able to see your beloved mountains now?
You are not, repeat not, moaning.

Thank you all, thank you for every post X

I am so angry with myself, have always been able to get myself together. Am now wondering if houses can be unlucky , I moved here last January , thrilled to have a larger garden for the dogs , bought a mobility scooter because this bungalow is on the flat, I was half way up a very steep hill. Was near my daughter and my niece, near the church. Arthritis has galloped, muscle wastage so bad I have trouble carrying mug of tea. Haven’t heard from my sisters or niece since the week after I moved . Can’t get to health centre, it’s next to the bridge. The Church closed. Physiotherapist has visited three times so not allowed more visits . Agoraphobia is getting worse. Can’t have help from mental health team, if over 65 have to go to a unit ten miles away, if under 65 can see a councillor here in town. I really want to help myself but just keep getting blocked. Only people who call are my granddaughters, love their visits, we have such fun. I really want them to move on. When the little one went to view the property they want to rent she walked around videoing it so I could see it at the same time. I love their laughter, their chatter, we don’t talk of my problems, we talk about their hopes, their shopping sprees, such laughter .

I really am cross with myself for moaning to you, I so want to help myself. Don’t know how.

Sorry

Dear Annie really feel for you. Do you drive? I get the impression you are stuck in the house and mobility is limited. Is there any way you could make plans to visit them?

Oh Anniebach sorry to hear this. You are not being selfish, it's only natural to feel sad at losing your grandchildren, especially as they are going at the same time. Could you not visit them occasionally? Also, I know it isn't the same but there is always emails. My beloved eldest Grandson moved to London, I missed him very much at first but now we keep in touch on Skype.

Annie so very sorry you have yet more to deal with, it must seem never ending which I suppose it is in a way since that is life. It does hurt though doesn't it and you don't want to hold them back but you do want to still be able to hold them close. So difficult to get your head round isn't it. Mine are a minimum of 6 - 7 hours away and it might as well be the moon sometimes. That is not a moan either - just factual. I end up with a countdown on the calender to the next visit of whoever comes next and am just so glad that they want to come, can come and do come. You need to plan their visits too because when you cannot go yourself you so need those red letter days.
I hope your own health is picking up bit by bit now and you are regaining strength. You are still very much in my thoughts and prayers and remember Ph 4:13 and also Ps 139 ( particularly v 1 - 12 ) (((hugs)))

annie, this is major trauma......please please seek professional help.

Everything Nanny41 says above. Take good care of yourself, dear Annie.

What you have gone through Annie,you must be sad, and you are definately not selfish.
They will be sad too and will want to contact you regularly, once they have settled, things are easier these days regarding contact possibilities.
Do look after yourself you are so needed.
Sending hugs.

Annie I Didn't mention --you are on our Prayer Chain.++

Dear Annie you are telling it as it is-- better out than in--
please continue posting. "This too will pass" ++

annie so sorry for more upset for you. Some of the posters on this thread are obviously trying to be kind but don't understand all you have been through.
You are not moaning just telling us what is going on in your life and many of us want to know how you are and offer whatever support we can (mine will be prayers for you as I know you will not be offended at that). I do wonder if FaceTime may be of help to you. Having the chance to chat to your DGDs and being able to see their faces at the same time may help. Do you have access to iPad or iPhone?
Thinking of you x

annie......boundaries and all that? your time now.

You have every right to feel upset, and I admire the strength you have found after the tragedy of your daughter's death. You have obviously done a great job with your grandaughters, such a great job that they feel secure enough to make their own lives. On a practical basis, ask them to set up skype and make a date to chat to them, to share with them. Meanwhile, although we are virtual, we are all here, and with the odd insomniac, can offer 24 hour service

It's still such early days for you, Annie. This is another big change on top of the trauma you have already endured, so it's not surprising you're upset.

I think a pet would be a good idea, too. A cat is independent but good company, a house rabbit or gerbil are enjoyable. Or how about a bird of some sort?

I hope the positive and supportive posts on here are helping you. I have seen your name before but not any of your past history. Feel sad for you and you’re not moaning. You seem to have had so much sadness recently and and it is recent in the grand scheme of things. A cat ? or two if you like them of course sounds like a good idea mine are around me a lot. It’s not the same as dogs but worth thinking about. Try Cats Protection they are supportive. Above all give yourself time and keep in touch. Love and prayers to you

Oh Annie you are making sense!
Still grieving and unwilling to give up ashes yet, well why should you.
Just say whatever you feel like and I bet someone here gets you and sends lots of virtual cyber hugs too I know I do.

Annie, never have I heard you moan, you are in deep grief, please be kind to yourself, my love and prayers are sent to you x

Annie, I've only just seen your thread. You are such a lovely person and you have been through such a lot of loss, can't really help in anyway but send you love.

You can moan to us whenever you need to - that's what friends are for.

You don't have to make sense Annie that's what (virtual) friends are for.

I think perhaps you are thinking that you need to hurry up and make a decision about your DD's final resting place, when maybe you should be allowing yourself a lot more time to think things over. Its only been a few months and things must still be very raw for you.

Annie I am so sorry for all of your losses. I cannot imagine how sad it must make you. You have been there to comfort your dgd when they have been through their losses too. It must be difficult to hear they are both moving away from you. I am sure they will visit you often. Cats are very good companions if are living alone and they don't need walking but are affectionate. You are not moaning at all just expressing your sadness. That is what GN is for to lend a sympathetic ear.

I wish my beloved daughter had moved 200 miles away instead of taking her life.

Those of you who were so wonderfully kind and got me through last November , perhaps you will understand why my granddaughters leaving here so soon is so difficult .

I can’t yet allow her ashes to be interred , I want us to be interred together , yes she would be interred with her father but he has been dead 43 years .

I am not making sense ,sorry

What a sad time for you. Izabella puts it so well.

Right now you probably aren't feeling like giving yourself a "well done' but you are one of the people who gave you DGD's courage to shape their lives and faith in themselves to go out into the world.

It is bitter sweet when those we helped raise to be capable, confident and independent step out into life while we stand and wave them off with both smiles and tears.

As many here have said "be extra kind to yourself". Also if you feel up to therapy at this time there can be real benefits.

May the love you gave return to you. May you have care and support for as long as needed and may you find a gentle peace in the days ahead

Make it a glass half full situation and relish the solitude.

Time for your self and time to draw breath in these rush, rush, rush times is precious and very hard to come by!